(no subject)

[star_bright]

Sometimes it feels like nothing could get better than this. But then it does. You know, sometimes the world is just a happy place...and sometimes it's so unbearable that I want to curl up and die. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my life, I have no inspiration, no motivation. I feel like I will pick a job/career and end up getting bored with my life. And be a drabby person with no happiness. I'll just be drained. But then other days I feel like I will find excitement in whatever I chose to do. I believe that you just have to find it yourself. You know I spend my days worrying about stupid things, and I realize that worrying gets me nowhere. It really doesn't, just occupies my brain to not think about something else, not think about things that NEED to be worried about, or thought about. There's nothing worse then your heart getting broken. That was off the topic of what I was saying. I need to learn to find joy in what I do. I need to learn to find joy and happiness at my house WITH Colby here. I hope my grandpa is alright. I got a call today saying he was in the hospital....I'm not making any sense, but I don't care. I worry about petty things. I remember the other night, I was seriously worrying about something that needed to be worried about, that needed to be made a big deal. Hahaha, and here was this person sitting next to me, angry/sad/worried about their girlfriendish finding out that they love them.
Nick smells SUPER SUPER SUPER good. MMMmmMmMmM...break me off a piece of that!!! Hahaha. I make myself laugh.
Anyways, you know, I hope life just doesnt pass me by, and here I am on my deathbed. I hope I die old. I want to experience a lot of things before I die...umm, if I ever get the fuckin guts to do what I want to do.
Well I need to fix my bed, I have nothing to mumbo jumbo about any longer...I didn't really say anything anyways. Sheesh...maybe for once I could make sense. =)

SOME PEOPLE DRIVE ME UP THE WALL!