(no subject)
im not gunna lie, life is not fun right now.
im really really sad.
everything is just going downhill.
so yeah i cried myself to sleep last night, listening to billy joel
and it sucked cause im MADDD sick, and i was so conjested so i just didnt get to sleep.
and when i dont sleep i think about everything thats bad instead of the good
and i just get mad upset
my SAT scores...HORRENDOUS....and i got in trouble for that cause my dad is a jackass. and he punished me ????/ fucking asshole....
so i had a breakdown after chorus class today because im that big of a loser, but mike walked me to class and it made me feel better.
UHG.
thank god i have kristen dziuba pulling me through, and helping me.
our big debut is coming up haha JACKAL STADIUMMMMM <3 famous in 06
we have all these auditions coming up, and im so glad im doing them all with her...
nothing else is really going well besides that
uhmmm i miss vc, as always. some days more than others. i guess thats just the way it is
but im always thinking of her.
life is fucking gay, and it can suck it
my family can fucknig SUCKKKKK IT. jerks.
uhgfsdkjhf
hmmmm so who do i have... erin,mike,jewbs,haor,ry,chris.....
they'll help me get by
but i do wish i want so distant from the people who have the same blood as me.
whatever. i should be used to this, this is how its been my whole life.
ok, so like i push people away from me, cause i get scared that no matter what i do im just gunna get hurt, cause everytime i try my hardest i fall down so much harder... seriously EVERYTIME... like with my mom i tried to make things work for like a LONG time, and everytime i did i would just be let down... why would i wanna go through that ALL the time. i cut myself off from the people i care about the most,. i treat my family like shit cause i just dont wanna face the possibility of them hurting me. i want to love them, but i cant. my heart cant take anymore. i really really wanna tell someone how sorry i am for just making them feel horrible. cause i know i did. i could only imagine, and i just feel so disgusted with myself. i hate how i let anger and rage control my feelings , i wish i could just talk to them. im not an obsessive love sick puppy. i just wanna set things right, someone deserves an apology but i dont think they wanna hear it. and i wouldnt blame them.
god i hate me =( all the time.
well im going to camp warwick tomorrow with erin, that should be fun
bye,
im really really sad.
everything is just going downhill.
so yeah i cried myself to sleep last night, listening to billy joel
and it sucked cause im MADDD sick, and i was so conjested so i just didnt get to sleep.
and when i dont sleep i think about everything thats bad instead of the good
and i just get mad upset
my SAT scores...HORRENDOUS....and i got in trouble for that cause my dad is a jackass. and he punished me ????/ fucking asshole....
so i had a breakdown after chorus class today because im that big of a loser, but mike walked me to class and it made me feel better.
UHG.
thank god i have kristen dziuba pulling me through, and helping me.
our big debut is coming up haha JACKAL STADIUMMMMM <3 famous in 06
we have all these auditions coming up, and im so glad im doing them all with her...
nothing else is really going well besides that
uhmmm i miss vc, as always. some days more than others. i guess thats just the way it is
but im always thinking of her.
life is fucking gay, and it can suck it
my family can fucknig SUCKKKKK IT. jerks.
uhgfsdkjhf
hmmmm so who do i have... erin,mike,jewbs,haor,ry,chris.....
they'll help me get by
but i do wish i want so distant from the people who have the same blood as me.
whatever. i should be used to this, this is how its been my whole life.
ok, so like i push people away from me, cause i get scared that no matter what i do im just gunna get hurt, cause everytime i try my hardest i fall down so much harder... seriously EVERYTIME... like with my mom i tried to make things work for like a LONG time, and everytime i did i would just be let down... why would i wanna go through that ALL the time. i cut myself off from the people i care about the most,. i treat my family like shit cause i just dont wanna face the possibility of them hurting me. i want to love them, but i cant. my heart cant take anymore. i really really wanna tell someone how sorry i am for just making them feel horrible. cause i know i did. i could only imagine, and i just feel so disgusted with myself. i hate how i let anger and rage control my feelings , i wish i could just talk to them. im not an obsessive love sick puppy. i just wanna set things right, someone deserves an apology but i dont think they wanna hear it. and i wouldnt blame them.
god i hate me =( all the time.
well im going to camp warwick tomorrow with erin, that should be fun
bye,