(no subject)
so...I think I may have done the wrong thing today. Probably my biggest stress right now is due to the fact that I do not have a full time job, thus no benefits and a very irregular schedule. Then this case manager position opened up within the shelter that I work at, and everyone seemed sure I'd get it. The thing is, they said they probably wanted someone 11:30am-8:00pm Monday through Friday, and I work Wednesday and Friday nights at my other job. So I put in for the job, stating in my letter of interest that I couldn't work that shift but that I'd be willing to work weekends or mornings or whatever to accomidate them. One of the case managers said that no one really wanted to work weekends, so that might be a point in my favor even though I couldn't work the shift as advertised.
Well, I got a call from the director of the shelter yesterday saying that they were only going to interview people that could work that shift. Then I got another call from her today, asking if I would consider leaving my other job if they were to consider me for the case manager position. She said that I was a "very strong candidate." I told her I couldn't leave my other job, that I had just started there and that I didn't want to leave them hanging. She said she understood, but I wonder if she really did. I remember when she interviewed me for the mental health case manager position--the original reason I came to the shelter--she and the mental health manager said that I presented very well and that they wouldn't hesitate to hire me if it were just a regular case manager position, and that the only reason I wouldn't get the job would be lack of experience. Well, now I've worked at the shelter and a regular case manager job opened up, and whether or not they were going to offer it to me I basically turned it down.
The problem is, I'm not sure whether the truth is that I couldn't or that I just wouldn't. I reaaally want a full-time job, don't get me wrong...but I like my job at The Ark (a folk music venue, if you didn't know). Most of the time, I like it better than working at the shelter. In a perfect world, I would find a full-time 9-5 job and be able to work both, no problem. However, I've been trying (and I've been trying HARD) and nothing has worked out. To get a case manager job would be great, and I would be ecstatic to get benefits and not have to start paying for them out of pocket. It's just that they didn't finish training me at the Ark that long ago, and I feel like I would be leaving them high and dry. That's my "couldn't" argument, anyways. The real issue is that I can only work there 2 nights a week, so it's not like I can just depend on that to make a living.
The other part of my concern is that the shelter doesn't have a great training program, and I'm not sure I could really hit the ground running right now. I'm doing fine in the position that I'm in now (which is basically just general staff), but I'm not sure I would make a very good case manager yet. I just don't know enough about the local community resources or even the shelter policies and procedures. I'm sure I could learn, but I think I'd be better at the job with a little more time working there. The turnover is fast, too...since I've been there (about 1month) there have been 3 full-time positions that opened up. My fear is that all of this turnover means that those who are staying will be there for a while. Also, it doesn't appear that I can just wait for a morning shift position to open up, because this by all rights should have been a morning position (it was a morning person who left) but they must have shifted another case manager up.
Maybe I'm stressing over nothing, it's not like they offered me the job. Although, apparently the director of the shelter even mentioned to my supervisor that I had taken myself out of the running for it, which means there really is a good chance I would have gotten it. Arrrrgh. As soon as I got off the phone this afternoon, I told my sister about the conversation and asked her if I had made a mistake. She didn't directly say yes, but it was something along those lines. Then I went into work and got asked about it by pretty much all of my coworkers. Not going to lie, I'm feeling a little stupid right now for not just grabbing it, but....I like my other job!!!!! Ah, well...I guess I'll just keep sending out resumes and hope for the best. I'm still working there, so I'll get preference if another position comes up, too. le sigh.
Well, I got a call from the director of the shelter yesterday saying that they were only going to interview people that could work that shift. Then I got another call from her today, asking if I would consider leaving my other job if they were to consider me for the case manager position. She said that I was a "very strong candidate." I told her I couldn't leave my other job, that I had just started there and that I didn't want to leave them hanging. She said she understood, but I wonder if she really did. I remember when she interviewed me for the mental health case manager position--the original reason I came to the shelter--she and the mental health manager said that I presented very well and that they wouldn't hesitate to hire me if it were just a regular case manager position, and that the only reason I wouldn't get the job would be lack of experience. Well, now I've worked at the shelter and a regular case manager job opened up, and whether or not they were going to offer it to me I basically turned it down.
The problem is, I'm not sure whether the truth is that I couldn't or that I just wouldn't. I reaaally want a full-time job, don't get me wrong...but I like my job at The Ark (a folk music venue, if you didn't know). Most of the time, I like it better than working at the shelter. In a perfect world, I would find a full-time 9-5 job and be able to work both, no problem. However, I've been trying (and I've been trying HARD) and nothing has worked out. To get a case manager job would be great, and I would be ecstatic to get benefits and not have to start paying for them out of pocket. It's just that they didn't finish training me at the Ark that long ago, and I feel like I would be leaving them high and dry. That's my "couldn't" argument, anyways. The real issue is that I can only work there 2 nights a week, so it's not like I can just depend on that to make a living.
The other part of my concern is that the shelter doesn't have a great training program, and I'm not sure I could really hit the ground running right now. I'm doing fine in the position that I'm in now (which is basically just general staff), but I'm not sure I would make a very good case manager yet. I just don't know enough about the local community resources or even the shelter policies and procedures. I'm sure I could learn, but I think I'd be better at the job with a little more time working there. The turnover is fast, too...since I've been there (about 1month) there have been 3 full-time positions that opened up. My fear is that all of this turnover means that those who are staying will be there for a while. Also, it doesn't appear that I can just wait for a morning shift position to open up, because this by all rights should have been a morning position (it was a morning person who left) but they must have shifted another case manager up.
Maybe I'm stressing over nothing, it's not like they offered me the job. Although, apparently the director of the shelter even mentioned to my supervisor that I had taken myself out of the running for it, which means there really is a good chance I would have gotten it. Arrrrgh. As soon as I got off the phone this afternoon, I told my sister about the conversation and asked her if I had made a mistake. She didn't directly say yes, but it was something along those lines. Then I went into work and got asked about it by pretty much all of my coworkers. Not going to lie, I'm feeling a little stupid right now for not just grabbing it, but....I like my other job!!!!! Ah, well...I guess I'll just keep sending out resumes and hope for the best. I'm still working there, so I'll get preference if another position comes up, too. le sigh.