who gets inspired anymore anyways...
So I just read an entry of an old friend of mine...who shall remain nameless...but it made me realize just where my attentions lie...I used to be that person who tried endlessly to please people...everyone...and I wasn't happy unless everyone else was happy...essentially meaning...I was very rarely truely happy...and my happiness was very much a result of other people...which is never a good thing...dependence is definately the bain of my past...and no matter how you slice it...when you live life like that 95% of the hardship you face could be avoided by simply giving an ass kick to society and breaking from the mold of trying to keep people entertained and thriving on their response...the problem being that acutally acheieving the aforementioned breakage is...nearly impossible...it takes a lot of time...a lot of time alone...which is another thing that used to bother me alot...when you're alone you have to truly be with yourself...and this often times can be a very emotionally jarring experience...but after much time and effort...I have come to the realization that I am no longer really that person who used to try so hard to keep people's attention and feared the solitude of say a carride void of music or staring into the sky without a purpose...and it is in this light...and upon reading the entry posted by said rather unhappy friend...that I realized the essence of being happy does infact lie in those who you surround yourself with...but it's not as I once thought...the people who you have in your life...the ones that really matter...should be the ones who truly want to be there...and the others...anyone who doesn't really value you...whoever you are...should not dictate the way you live...there aren't many people that enter your life that will hold you to the highest importance and unconditionally consider your feelings and keep you in mind...I can honestly think of 5 people that are of this caliber in my life...and as I said to my friend...that is more than some people should ever have because it is important to realize...this level of friendship cannot be acheived without much time and effort...it is not spontaneous...it does not rush...it is not a relationship in the conventional sense of the word...it has many different aspects...none of which will ever remain stagnant...I think that this fact...that I have realized this...is pretty awesome...and the fact that I no longer dwell on those who are not really worth dwelling upon is something that has taken me a long time to acheive...I still have the utmost respect for everyone...but I realize that there are far fewer people in this world that I should want to put my devotion to than I thought prior to this revelation...and that is the way it should be