R.I.F. Carrie Fisher - Rebel Queen
Let's be honest. It's been a terrible year. And I have been trying to understand all of the ways this this last loss hurts more than the rest. The closes might have been the way this year started, with the loss of David Bowie. But as much as his death was painful, it doesn't measure up to the ache in my soul the way that Carrie Fisher's death does. And perhaps it is all because this, this one last (please gods it better be the last of the year) loss is the culmination of a whole year that has been painful. But even then, there was something beautifully singular about Carrie Fisher.
She was the rebellion. As much as I have always been in love with the story of Luke Skywalker, as he runs off to join the rebellion, to fly the daring trench run, to make the shot, to train, to find himself, his lineage, his destiny, to confront his family's legacy in the darkness of the universe, and from his lowest point find and create hope in the very center of the void. He wasn't a worthy hero, but he was a hero in the end. I have always looked to Han Solo as the truth of most of us. Self interested, motivated to survive in a world that crushes resistance, finding a place to scrounge up a living that fits our skills. Yet in the end knowing that we have to, no matter the odds, stand up for what we believe in. Luke and Han are examples of what we can be. But even there, they are nothing with Leia. Leia is the heart, the soul, and the god damn burning fire of the rebellion. She starts the movies in an act of defiance, setting in motion the fates of the other two. It is her resourcefulness, bolstered by her fearlessness, that is the reason the rebellion accomplishes anything. She is the goodness that inspires Han to become more than he thought he could be. She is the support, and ultimately the link to family that helps get Luke through his darkest of confrontations. She resists torture, interrogation, and even the complete destruction of her home and yet STILL has the strength to stand up, spit in the face of evil, and lead the march to their destruction. And in the end, after it all, after the Death Star is destroyed (twice) she is there awarding others with medals, celebrating with the ones she loves, and gather her strength to become a General. It isn't Han, Luke, Lando, or anyone else who stays standing tall, in the middle of the shit, pushing the rebellion forward. It's Leia. The fight doesn't end for her. There is no rest, no medal, no applauding crowds, but she fights on.
And that was just her as Leia. In the real world she was vocal about her independence, and her strong feminist self, and I was always impressed and bolstered by her appearances and her voice. She was open about her struggles with being bipolar, normalizing the fight and telling those who suffered from it that they should see their strength in the midst of the uncertainty. She was direct about body shaming, about the struggle to have the ideal look, the right weight, to age in a certain way, and all of the expectations that came with being a visible figure and actress in Hollywood, and had the strength and bravery to be up front about it with a defiant "Fuck you." She was witty, sharp, and brilliant, continuing in her work in all aspects while being defiant with a sense of humor. She was a leader of the rebellion in the real world as well as the fictional. With a finger held high, and a grin on her face, she could be a PEZ dispenser and a hero to us all.
And I think after all, that is one big reason why now, at the end of 2016, her loss hits so hard and so deep. She isn't just a hero I have known since I was a child, but she was a hero that continued to fight until the last. And looking into the years ahead, I feel like many of us need heroes like never before, and the one's who have taught us since we were children are leaving the fight to us. But that is the glimmer of hope that I find in all of this, because that is the truth of any fight. Some day our heroes will always pass, and the torch is handed down.
So one thing we should take away from this, is that all of our feminist/queer/noncomformist/bipolar and imperfect heroes haven't left us. Not really. Because they made us what we are. They gave us who we could be. The build a rebellion that has always been so much more than just them, and one that they knew will have to fight on beyond their own time with us. It hurts. And if anyone was open about that it might have just bee Carrie Fisher. Life isn't easy, it is a struggle, but in the struggle you should know that you stand because you are strong, and you persist because you are defiant and powerful. Every moment we resist, is a moment that the oppressors have yet to win.
It hurts, but that just means we still have strength to fight with.
Rebel Rebel.
She was the rebellion. As much as I have always been in love with the story of Luke Skywalker, as he runs off to join the rebellion, to fly the daring trench run, to make the shot, to train, to find himself, his lineage, his destiny, to confront his family's legacy in the darkness of the universe, and from his lowest point find and create hope in the very center of the void. He wasn't a worthy hero, but he was a hero in the end. I have always looked to Han Solo as the truth of most of us. Self interested, motivated to survive in a world that crushes resistance, finding a place to scrounge up a living that fits our skills. Yet in the end knowing that we have to, no matter the odds, stand up for what we believe in. Luke and Han are examples of what we can be. But even there, they are nothing with Leia. Leia is the heart, the soul, and the god damn burning fire of the rebellion. She starts the movies in an act of defiance, setting in motion the fates of the other two. It is her resourcefulness, bolstered by her fearlessness, that is the reason the rebellion accomplishes anything. She is the goodness that inspires Han to become more than he thought he could be. She is the support, and ultimately the link to family that helps get Luke through his darkest of confrontations. She resists torture, interrogation, and even the complete destruction of her home and yet STILL has the strength to stand up, spit in the face of evil, and lead the march to their destruction. And in the end, after it all, after the Death Star is destroyed (twice) she is there awarding others with medals, celebrating with the ones she loves, and gather her strength to become a General. It isn't Han, Luke, Lando, or anyone else who stays standing tall, in the middle of the shit, pushing the rebellion forward. It's Leia. The fight doesn't end for her. There is no rest, no medal, no applauding crowds, but she fights on.
And that was just her as Leia. In the real world she was vocal about her independence, and her strong feminist self, and I was always impressed and bolstered by her appearances and her voice. She was open about her struggles with being bipolar, normalizing the fight and telling those who suffered from it that they should see their strength in the midst of the uncertainty. She was direct about body shaming, about the struggle to have the ideal look, the right weight, to age in a certain way, and all of the expectations that came with being a visible figure and actress in Hollywood, and had the strength and bravery to be up front about it with a defiant "Fuck you." She was witty, sharp, and brilliant, continuing in her work in all aspects while being defiant with a sense of humor. She was a leader of the rebellion in the real world as well as the fictional. With a finger held high, and a grin on her face, she could be a PEZ dispenser and a hero to us all.
And I think after all, that is one big reason why now, at the end of 2016, her loss hits so hard and so deep. She isn't just a hero I have known since I was a child, but she was a hero that continued to fight until the last. And looking into the years ahead, I feel like many of us need heroes like never before, and the one's who have taught us since we were children are leaving the fight to us. But that is the glimmer of hope that I find in all of this, because that is the truth of any fight. Some day our heroes will always pass, and the torch is handed down.
So one thing we should take away from this, is that all of our feminist/queer/noncomformist/bipolar and imperfect heroes haven't left us. Not really. Because they made us what we are. They gave us who we could be. The build a rebellion that has always been so much more than just them, and one that they knew will have to fight on beyond their own time with us. It hurts. And if anyone was open about that it might have just bee Carrie Fisher. Life isn't easy, it is a struggle, but in the struggle you should know that you stand because you are strong, and you persist because you are defiant and powerful. Every moment we resist, is a moment that the oppressors have yet to win.
It hurts, but that just means we still have strength to fight with.
Rebel Rebel.