the begginning of an end

[stapleded]

I NEED SOMETHING TO NUMB THE PAIN. FORGET ME AND FORGET MY NAME
WAITING FOR THE TIME TO ARRAIVE. NOONE GETS OUT OF HERE ALIVE

Ok so i just got out of hospital. I went in on monday, and got out thisafternoon. i was in there involuntry and it sucked. i would have a nurse with me to shower, go to the toilet, sleep, everything.

Im so chronically depressed right now, and suicidal. i wish there was somthing to take all the pain away but theres not. its just all never ending.

I need to inflict pain upon myself.
I need to see blood;
flesh;
bone;
muscle.

i cant handle it anymore.
seriously i cant.

IM NOT JOKING I CANT FUCKING HAMDLE IT ANYMORE. EVERYONE THERE IS A SUICIDAL MANIAC OUT ON THE LOOSE AND SHE CANT FUCKING HANDLE ALL THIS SHIT ANYMORE.

Am i a failure, am i failing life? can you fail life? or is it one of those things that is neither a pass or fail?

What do i do now?

Do i give up?

Or keep going with my facade?

You all have a photo glued to the lids of your eyes of what you want me to be.

Saddly...
im...
only...
me.