(no subject)
Every day I breathe I find it harder to want to see the next day. When you’re stuck in a place you don’t want to be, it couldn’t be harder to leave it. School is soon coming to an end and I don’t know weather to be happy or upset about the whole thing. Of course part of you wants to leave and explore the world, but the other part of you likes the comfort of routine each day. But when I really think about it, there hasn’t been any routine in a long time…
People are going to start going there separate ways. I’m not ready for relocation yet. My best friend’s life begins on the 27th of June. He’s going to the marines. He’ll be back though. The rest of us are staying here, getting jobs, and pretending to start something new. We’ll all be gone before we know it. Some of us need to disappear for not so nice reasons. Others just need a change of pace. Friends are forever though…
Chaos. I live it everyday. And the sad thing about it is it’s all my choice. Slowly but surely I’m breaking away from the old routine I used to know. The old routine I used to love. I don’t love it anymore. I don’t want it anymore. It hurts and I don’t know why. I guess it’s natural to miss all you used to know when you finally realize you’re getting rid of it for good this time.
I’m in love with a girl. Yeah, I never thought I’d be a lesbian until it became my lifestyle. Yes, I’m different now, but I don’t think I’m too bad. But yeah, I’m n love with her. And for once, she’s not a bum. She’s got it together for the most part. At this point I don’t know where we’re going but I don’t care. If there’s one thing she taught me is to never make plans or assumptions. We play pretend everyday like we’re the best of friends, buddies till the end. We both know the truth at night. Night is our time. When she holds me, we both know to whom are hearts belong too. I hope I’m not wrong about this one.
You can either see this as negative or realistic. I’m not a sad person at all. Very content actually. I just think I have the balls to state the obvious. Got to live right?