(no subject)
im sitting here listenin to lifehouse and just tryna relax n shit. by myself. im trying this new alone thing. im dedicating it to yoyo. newho. mad drama. lets start with thursday.
thursday was the pre wedding party @ dads. it was alright. seeing all those faces in my house made me feel weird for the first time in a long time. it finally hit me that the fact my dad was gettin married the following day.me n dad talked n cryed for awhile. he knew it was comin. we cleared some things up. it felt good. i called a familiar face to calm me down. she came and i was so happy. my family fell in love with her instantly. later that night my brother n sisters got home. i was so happy. and p.s. theyll be abck for my graduation party. so happy. and theyre bringing my kids. now onto the night. me n keshia n keith n akeem went to the club only to meet up with everyone. here comes the downfall. every girl ive ever talked to except one of them was in the club. and it woulda been cool if lea wasnt there. i danced wit all my ppls. i had so much fun. i saw some old faces, hugged alot. it was great. yoyo gets there and it felt so good for her to acknowledge me in a public place. and it seemed as if as soon as she got there she told me to find her. as soon as i saw her, i started dancing with her. i was sober for the most part. she wasnt. that didnt bother me for once tho. we danced for awhile. having her hands all over my body felt so good. having her touch me again, the way she used to... i had butterflies.
lea shows up.
i could have died. i think she expected me to be all up on her, but i told her earlier that day it wasnt gunna be like that. her and i are not together and i was gunna have fun with all my friends n jus chill. she stared me down the whole night. came close everytime i decided to dance. i finally just peaced out for awhile in the bathroom. i hated the feeling of being watched. after i came out the bathroom, i spotted yoyo. she was at the bar talkin to the bartender. he told me i was beautiful n asked if we were together cuz we looked nice together. i said no. yoyo and i talked or attempted to for a long while. she told me some things that sounded so good in my ear. i wanted so much to believe her. and still i do.she was a lil faded but i tryed to disregard that. for the first time in 3 months, she grabbed me, and kissed me like she used to. she knew exactly where to touch me to get me going. i wanted to leave and she didnt. soon enough lea comes along all pissed off. but i didnt care. yoyo left due to some things i wont address. me n lea almost got in a fight. 6 ppl held me back. i woulda killed her.....i took everyoen home n went to yoyo's. no1 answered.
friday la calls me to tell me yoyo has been sick in bed al day. i got this cal at 4pm. she couldnt make it to the wedding. i understood. i called yoyo and texted her 1 thousand times. i dont get any type of response till saturday.its monday. she still hasnt called. well friday dad got married. i cryed like a baby. like a 2 yr old when their ice cream falls off the cone. an uncontrollable cry. my brother held me. after a few drinks it started to fade. i didnt care nemore. our cousin was bein a perv n i thought it was funny. pj cussed him out n he left. funniest shit ever. after the recpetion me pj kesh njes went to mt pockets n drank summore.
saturday came and i slept the day away. went shopping then came home.
sunday i goto dads. chill n relax. sleep in till like 4 the next day
monday moms bday. still no call from little.