2019 Wrapup
I’m sitting by a very overactive radiator, so I opened the window that's right by the radiator. The coffee cup is sitting on the radiator. Will it end up cold or hot? I could just move it to the little table on the other side of the chair, I guess.
2019 was a Year of Derailing. A lot of good work I’d started last year became moot or got put on hold and it feels like I spent the year losing ground. Oh, in one respect, that’s not true. Financially I’m in the best place I’ve been in years. I spent the last five years erasing tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt and the severance pay from the last layoff put that paid and gave me a nest egg. This year, I was able to save - or at least not lose the gains. Usually our big trip to Europe, if we have one, is a ‘debt enhancer’, but this year the whole trip to Spain got paid off right away.
We went to Spain! That was a nice trip! Neither the best nor the worst trip we’ve taken, but a nice getaway. We really only did those two big cities, Madrid and Barcelona - would love to see more of the country. We also spent a weekend in Cape May, and will be spending more time there, I think, although our 2020 plans may be derailed for a while.
I’m unemployed again. I started and ended the year without a job, although I spent most of the year in a job that (on paper) was quite a good one. But it turned out to be a detour. I don’t think I learned much in the job except what I don’t want in a job, I’m now less confident in my abilities, and it sucked up my energies in a way that left time for little else in my life. Did you know I started writing a novel this year? Yeah, in January, It’s been untouched since then. No time, no energy. My knitting production is way down - I used to get a lot done on teleconferences, and we didn’t really have teleconferences in the new job. Aside from the miserableness of the job itself, for the first time in decades, I couldn’t work from home, I had to go to the office every day. Just that - the two hours or so spent in preparing or commuting every day - wiped out so much time that I had relied on for getting other things done.
I will say that every time I bitched about the things that I didn’t like about the job, I was embarrassed about how ‘first-world’ those problems were. Whine whine, "I can’t knit on conference calls, I have to commute, my boss doesn’t listen to my input, I’m treated like I don’t know what I’m doing, they make me do things I don’t want to do". Poor giant baby. Yeah, but realizing that didn’t make the job any less miserable. It did make me realize how good I had it in the last job, I must say.
What were some of the good things about the job? I worked with some terrific people and made some new friends. I certainly liked the software-company dress code. Free snacks always, free lunches twice a week. When I was actually allowed to do what I was hired for (documenting stuff), I really enjoyed the work. Pay and benefits were good. The company was very diverse and reasonably gay-friendly. But I could go on far longer about what was not good… but I shall not dwell. Let’s just say that I’m glad the job ended in 2019 so I could now just think of 2019 as a lost year as far as employment and we can truly have a fresh start in the new year.
Performing-wise, I managed to get in some quality horn playing at the top of the year, highlight being Albert Herring. I didn’t get to do much else.
Healthwise, I didn’t exercise as much as I’d like to. I got C's bike in shape and was happily starting to ride again, then was derailed by the hand fracture. I’m heavy, continue to be. I stopped Weight Watchers because it had stopped helping and I couldn’t spare the time anyway. It was a bad year for allergies - I feel like I’ve spend the entire year sneezing. I’ve having trouble now getting back to the the technical level I’d gotten to with the ice skating - that’s not a big deal, but I really need to work with a coach or take another class - can’t really do that right now.
Familywise, our youngsters on C’s side are doing great. On my side, my dad and brother are doing great themselves, but we are all three dealing with what’s been going on with my mom, and that’s going to be our life for the beginning of 2020. Happy to do it, but am well aware that I’m not skilled or naturally adept at helping others. But 2020 may be the Year of Helping. I did read somewhere this year that as one gets older, you shift your focus from yourself to others and maybe that’s where I’m headed. I will say that I am very grateful for my friends, and this has been a year to really appreciate my friends and let relationships deepen.
I’m not going to go into politics or world affairs here, but we all know the shitshow we’re in the middle of. Can’t say that did anything but make things worse for me personally, or that I have done anything effective to make it better. If I have a New Year’s resolution, maybe it’s to just be better about the ‘call your representatives’ thing and to speak up about the latest atrocities, even if you don’t see what good it does.
Some milestones hit this year. I turned 55 and also hit my ‘25 years in New York’ mark at the same time. We had a party to celebrate - I had been looking forward to and planning that party in my head for years and years, but was so down and mopey at the time, I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as I could have. But it was lovely and we had a house full of people I love.
C and I had our fifth wedding anniversary and have an even bigger anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks. He remains my rock, constantly supportive and loving and helpful. I am so blessed to be with this man, who makes me laugh every day and cooks for me and holds my hand and lets me smooch him pretty much every time I see him.
Other good things - I’d spent last year’s unemployment doing a thorough clean and reorganize of the home office and it’s stayed surprisingly organized. I’ll do a similar sweep this January, but it won’t take nearly as long to straighten up. (I may skip the ‘dust every book on the bookshelves’ step this year - don’t tell C). I also found myself, much to my surprise, attracting more attention of a ‘hi, you’re hot’ sort. I don’t know what changed - am I putting out some sort of different vibe? I’m not really available to take advantage of such situations (*eyeballs wedding ring*) but still, it’s a nice boost when it happens.
I have to remind myself that, even though I’m emotionally down, the excitement and giddiness of (in general) just having new possibilities in my life are still there ready to be tapped into.
Happy New Year!
2019 was a Year of Derailing. A lot of good work I’d started last year became moot or got put on hold and it feels like I spent the year losing ground. Oh, in one respect, that’s not true. Financially I’m in the best place I’ve been in years. I spent the last five years erasing tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt and the severance pay from the last layoff put that paid and gave me a nest egg. This year, I was able to save - or at least not lose the gains. Usually our big trip to Europe, if we have one, is a ‘debt enhancer’, but this year the whole trip to Spain got paid off right away.
We went to Spain! That was a nice trip! Neither the best nor the worst trip we’ve taken, but a nice getaway. We really only did those two big cities, Madrid and Barcelona - would love to see more of the country. We also spent a weekend in Cape May, and will be spending more time there, I think, although our 2020 plans may be derailed for a while.
I’m unemployed again. I started and ended the year without a job, although I spent most of the year in a job that (on paper) was quite a good one. But it turned out to be a detour. I don’t think I learned much in the job except what I don’t want in a job, I’m now less confident in my abilities, and it sucked up my energies in a way that left time for little else in my life. Did you know I started writing a novel this year? Yeah, in January, It’s been untouched since then. No time, no energy. My knitting production is way down - I used to get a lot done on teleconferences, and we didn’t really have teleconferences in the new job. Aside from the miserableness of the job itself, for the first time in decades, I couldn’t work from home, I had to go to the office every day. Just that - the two hours or so spent in preparing or commuting every day - wiped out so much time that I had relied on for getting other things done.
I will say that every time I bitched about the things that I didn’t like about the job, I was embarrassed about how ‘first-world’ those problems were. Whine whine, "I can’t knit on conference calls, I have to commute, my boss doesn’t listen to my input, I’m treated like I don’t know what I’m doing, they make me do things I don’t want to do". Poor giant baby. Yeah, but realizing that didn’t make the job any less miserable. It did make me realize how good I had it in the last job, I must say.
What were some of the good things about the job? I worked with some terrific people and made some new friends. I certainly liked the software-company dress code. Free snacks always, free lunches twice a week. When I was actually allowed to do what I was hired for (documenting stuff), I really enjoyed the work. Pay and benefits were good. The company was very diverse and reasonably gay-friendly. But I could go on far longer about what was not good… but I shall not dwell. Let’s just say that I’m glad the job ended in 2019 so I could now just think of 2019 as a lost year as far as employment and we can truly have a fresh start in the new year.
Performing-wise, I managed to get in some quality horn playing at the top of the year, highlight being Albert Herring. I didn’t get to do much else.
Healthwise, I didn’t exercise as much as I’d like to. I got C's bike in shape and was happily starting to ride again, then was derailed by the hand fracture. I’m heavy, continue to be. I stopped Weight Watchers because it had stopped helping and I couldn’t spare the time anyway. It was a bad year for allergies - I feel like I’ve spend the entire year sneezing. I’ve having trouble now getting back to the the technical level I’d gotten to with the ice skating - that’s not a big deal, but I really need to work with a coach or take another class - can’t really do that right now.
Familywise, our youngsters on C’s side are doing great. On my side, my dad and brother are doing great themselves, but we are all three dealing with what’s been going on with my mom, and that’s going to be our life for the beginning of 2020. Happy to do it, but am well aware that I’m not skilled or naturally adept at helping others. But 2020 may be the Year of Helping. I did read somewhere this year that as one gets older, you shift your focus from yourself to others and maybe that’s where I’m headed. I will say that I am very grateful for my friends, and this has been a year to really appreciate my friends and let relationships deepen.
I’m not going to go into politics or world affairs here, but we all know the shitshow we’re in the middle of. Can’t say that did anything but make things worse for me personally, or that I have done anything effective to make it better. If I have a New Year’s resolution, maybe it’s to just be better about the ‘call your representatives’ thing and to speak up about the latest atrocities, even if you don’t see what good it does.
Some milestones hit this year. I turned 55 and also hit my ‘25 years in New York’ mark at the same time. We had a party to celebrate - I had been looking forward to and planning that party in my head for years and years, but was so down and mopey at the time, I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as I could have. But it was lovely and we had a house full of people I love.
C and I had our fifth wedding anniversary and have an even bigger anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks. He remains my rock, constantly supportive and loving and helpful. I am so blessed to be with this man, who makes me laugh every day and cooks for me and holds my hand and lets me smooch him pretty much every time I see him.
Other good things - I’d spent last year’s unemployment doing a thorough clean and reorganize of the home office and it’s stayed surprisingly organized. I’ll do a similar sweep this January, but it won’t take nearly as long to straighten up. (I may skip the ‘dust every book on the bookshelves’ step this year - don’t tell C). I also found myself, much to my surprise, attracting more attention of a ‘hi, you’re hot’ sort. I don’t know what changed - am I putting out some sort of different vibe? I’m not really available to take advantage of such situations (*eyeballs wedding ring*) but still, it’s a nice boost when it happens.
I have to remind myself that, even though I’m emotionally down, the excitement and giddiness of (in general) just having new possibilities in my life are still there ready to be tapped into.
Happy New Year!