(no subject)
LOVE: its a strong emotion. I dont quite really understand it all just yet. but i believe i am on the right road in figuring it all out, or maybe even becoming even more confused. who knows until you try though right? I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of love. One is the kind in which you love your family or friends. The love which is cherished, but also can involve so many different people that sometimes it's not even appreciated and taken for granit. When i came home tonight, i took Amira out of her car seat, she was crying. and i picked her up and held her for a second, she calmed down and laid her head on my chest while i was taking her inside. She completely trusted me. Well, i walked in the house. and i rocked her. and kissed her forehead *she smelt of Johnson's baby soap* and i realized, wow, i really love her. And tonight, i saw Anna and Pustai, and i love them, just the type of love i have for amira. Then there is that love in which i have not expierenced yet, so i cant go into detail, but hear its great, that is shared between that one person. that one person that makes your life go upside down when they walk into the same room as you. And THEN theres that one "thing" (i hate that word, but i gotta use it) that one doing that you just love. That one "doing" that just makes your stomach all twisting.. and that BURST of excitment that comes from your heart and goes straight to your toes. I know that feeling, what "kind" of love, i know it very well in fact. because for me, its guard. Every time i pick up my riffle and realize how far ive come. i get chills down my spine. i never knew you could love something this much. i never knew, until now. I bet if guard girls are reading this, they are thinking, shut up katie, you have compained about it for so long! you have cried more times over guard than you have people. yea that may be true. I may hate it some time. just like you might hate your friends that you really love though. i guess thats another charastic of love, its so hidden. wow, maybe love is really blind. i never understood that until now. Tonight's practice was such a refreshing sweet taste. It reminded why all of this is worth doing. When i finish my Senior year and never pick up a flag again, maybe that will be ok. Because no matter if you loose a friendship, and hate that person. there is always that memory. that Time peroid noone can take from you. And you cant change that block of time either, you cant go back and revisit again, you cant change it, you can only remember the love you had for it. If i wake up one day and decide i hate guard. So be it. But i will always remember this feeling i have thats so hard to put on "paper" ill always remember the love. I hope i get to expierence all of those loves. if not, 2 out of 3 is pretty damn good.