Sorry for posting twice in one night (at least its not LiveDrama)
First off let me appoligize for writing two blog things in one night. This, my virtual (ok, most of you I actually know) friends, is what happens when you dont have a job and you dont know what to do with your free time, because all your time is free.
Anyway, back on topic.
As I wrote my last blog I was watching some show on the Discovery Channel about a British man who goes to different tribes in the middle of nowhere and lives with them a while. Although he did try to have his penis inverted (I have no idea what that would even be like, I dont even want to think about it) that wasnt that amazing. What I found really amazing was the mini infomertial that came on after the show ended. Apparently 3am is infomertial time! Now, I would normally expect to see some fat woman jumping on a magical mattress that was "Developed by NASA!!" or maybe some sort of device that will turn all of your vegetables into some sort of horrible juice concoction that will magically make you invincible. No, this was a commercial for the bible, ON DVD!!!!
Yes, you heard it here first. YOU ,the lowly layperson, can bring the bible into your own home. Not in some old, crappy, tree-killing chunk of paper, but in the true medium of Jesus H. Christ, the plastic disc. I admit, Ive read the bible some. My parents went through Jesus benders every so often, I went to a Catholic high school, but I must have been reading the wrong bible. The people on this commercial were fucking enthralled by the MAJESTY of god on their TVs. They were, quite literaly, watching the word of god on their screens. I dont mean that they were watching Charlton Heston talking to a burning bush, I mean they were staring at a book, with words on the pages, on their television. And just in case good Mr. or Mrs. Christian cant read (yes, Jesus loves illiterate people too aparently) the words on the screen are accompanied by amazing voice acting! No longer do you have to beat religion into your kids by forcing them to read some dull book (which is so fucking uncool) now you can let god hypnotize them with the magical talking box! Screw the burning bush, we have talking magic boxes now! Halle-fucking-lujah. I don't feel bad about missing the Deadliest Catch anymore, because I'm going to order the Bible on DVD! Hell, maybe I'll order the Tempur-pedic, form fitting, NASA created, magical mattress, thats what Jesus would sleep on.
Anyway, back on topic.
As I wrote my last blog I was watching some show on the Discovery Channel about a British man who goes to different tribes in the middle of nowhere and lives with them a while. Although he did try to have his penis inverted (I have no idea what that would even be like, I dont even want to think about it) that wasnt that amazing. What I found really amazing was the mini infomertial that came on after the show ended. Apparently 3am is infomertial time! Now, I would normally expect to see some fat woman jumping on a magical mattress that was "Developed by NASA!!" or maybe some sort of device that will turn all of your vegetables into some sort of horrible juice concoction that will magically make you invincible. No, this was a commercial for the bible, ON DVD!!!!
Yes, you heard it here first. YOU ,the lowly layperson, can bring the bible into your own home. Not in some old, crappy, tree-killing chunk of paper, but in the true medium of Jesus H. Christ, the plastic disc. I admit, Ive read the bible some. My parents went through Jesus benders every so often, I went to a Catholic high school, but I must have been reading the wrong bible. The people on this commercial were fucking enthralled by the MAJESTY of god on their TVs. They were, quite literaly, watching the word of god on their screens. I dont mean that they were watching Charlton Heston talking to a burning bush, I mean they were staring at a book, with words on the pages, on their television. And just in case good Mr. or Mrs. Christian cant read (yes, Jesus loves illiterate people too aparently) the words on the screen are accompanied by amazing voice acting! No longer do you have to beat religion into your kids by forcing them to read some dull book (which is so fucking uncool) now you can let god hypnotize them with the magical talking box! Screw the burning bush, we have talking magic boxes now! Halle-fucking-lujah. I don't feel bad about missing the Deadliest Catch anymore, because I'm going to order the Bible on DVD! Hell, maybe I'll order the Tempur-pedic, form fitting, NASA created, magical mattress, thats what Jesus would sleep on.