1st Countdown // Audio

[standardpackage]

[When Jinx awakens, he’s far more pissed off and annoyed than dazed and confused. He’s not exactly used to the never ending tune ringing in the back of his head, nor is he ready to accept a giant fishing float into his life.]

Comments

[Audio]

[getmesomewhisky]

You won't find booze in that shitty town.

[Xanxus's Pokémon are in the middle of training, so please excuse any strange noises and bangs and explosions you may hear.]

[Audio] Sosos sorry for the delay ;O;

[standardpackage]

Th' fuck kinda town doesn't have a bar?

[But more importantly...]

What in the shit are you doing?

[Audio] Don't worry about it~

[getmesomewhisky]

That one.

[New Bark is the worst fucking town ever, man. Even Cherrygrove is better.]

Training my Pokémon.

[Audio]

[standardpackage]

You mean these shitty little red 'n white things?

[Audio]

[getmesomewhisky]

None of mine are red and white. What the fuck do you have?

[Video]

[standardpackage]

[Jinx aims the camera at Fucker his Voltorb.]

This. Named it Fucker 'cause it seems ta' be alive er somethin'.

[Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[Xanxus is secretly amused by that name. Meanwhile, he should take this opportunity to show off his bamf team.]

I have these.

[He turns on the video function as well to show a Golem trying to perfect his Rock Blast, a Noctowl that's Air Slashing shit, a Gengar pelting a poor wild Pokémon with Shadow Balls, a Gyarados in the water nearby that's having fun pimping out his Hydro Pump, a Charmeleon working on his Metal Claw, and a Piloswine that... has apparently stopped training to nom endlessly on berries.]

[Video]

[standardpackage]

What in th' shit...

[Okay, this is too weird. That thing looks like a giant boulder--and what in the hell is that giant ghastly looking thing? And where is all that water coming from?]

So what can mine do?

[Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[Yeeeah, Xanxus is used to this shit now. Plus, the box animals in his world are much more fucked up than these things.]

I don't know. I've never seen that Pokémon before.

[Video]

[standardpackage]

Where in the hell are ya'? I'm lost in front of some random house.

[Jinx takes a long drag, then quickly snuffs it out after remembering that he's in uncharted territory.]

[Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

Route 32, almost to Union Cave. Which is about two or three weeks away from where you are, so don't bother trying to find me.

Re: [Video]

[standardpackage]

Damn, so all I gotta do is keep walkin'. Is there a goal we're tryin' ta' reach?

[Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

Obviously most of us would like to just go the fuck home, but apparently that's not happening. So do whatever the fuck you want.

[Video]

[standardpackage]

If ya' wanna go home so fuckin' bad, then why th' hell are ya' collectin' all those things? Looks like ya' wanna live here 'er somethin'.

[You totally wouldn't have all of those Pokemon if you were planning on leaving, right?]

Do what I want? Well, maybe I wanna go ta' th' cave, Suga'.

[Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

My guns are gone. My powers don't work anymore. I don't have my fucking liger anymore. And somehow I got physically weaker. The only way I can defend myself and kick ass is by raising these shitheads to be as strong as they can fucking be.

[He totally won't miss his Pokémon if he ever goes back home. Nope.]

Fine then.

[Video]

[standardpackage]

What, so ya' can't fight?

[Not even Trash? I bet he'll miss Trash.]

...That's it? Ya' ain't even gonna gimme directions?

[Jinx gently taps the Voltorb with a foot. He has no clue what the thing can do, but harassing it still seems like a good idea.]