Change of Attitude
Hi all,
Nothing much different has changed in the sense that I'm still working a part time retail job and going to grad school.
However, I've changed a lot in my attitude towards life in the past few months. I feel more free, connected with nature, and generally have one foot in this world and the other foot in another world. I sometimes get messages from the Great Spirit in my dreams. I'm more in tune with my body and its rhythms. I inherently know what foods my body will reject, so I stay away from them.
And I don't care about obtaining a teaching job.
A lot of people look at me and say, oh no, don't give up! You graduated during a recession! Something will open up!
But I don't care anymore. For a long time, I thought that working hard, getting a college degree, and putting myself out there in the teaching world would be the path to my success. I temporarily taught in other people's jobs for three years, subjected myself as a substitute per diem in a district for almost a year (that didn't give me the time of day when they had two art openings), and completed illustrating a children's book that someone else wrote.
I just completed my first major research paper on Gifting as a Tool for Individual and Societal Transformation. Gifting is a term to describe the notion of giving of yourself unconditionally to others without expectancy of reciprocation. Kind of like "Pay it Forward". Gifting is a core aspect of society within the Burning Man Festival and other BM regional events. I specifically focused on three artists that contributed public art to Burning Man, and how the work that they did changed them and connected with the society at large.
My paper culminates a lot of different sources and hints that conscious evolution (or making active changes to better our world) is the key to societal transformation through gifting. But when I looked back at it, I noticed that I had failed to mention why I wrote it in the first place.
Why did I write it? Because I longed to be part of a society that I knew would accept me and help nourish my inner gifts. I haven't even been to Burning Man yet, nor one of the official regionals (mainly because of ticketing and scheduling snafus).
Yet, I still got what I needed from doing the research. I got the sense that I have inner gifts that are now emerging because I no longer allow my job to define who I am.
Sometimes I still have that nagging doubt on my shoulder, and it usually stems from our current harsh society's judgments about how to be successful and how to make money. I am drawn to pursue understanding of my spiritual awakening and to continue to dedicate myself to learning the cello, creating a musical genre, and spreading the joy of music and song to others.
Inside of me, there is a loving source that is making me physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than I have ever been before.
Nothing much different has changed in the sense that I'm still working a part time retail job and going to grad school.
However, I've changed a lot in my attitude towards life in the past few months. I feel more free, connected with nature, and generally have one foot in this world and the other foot in another world. I sometimes get messages from the Great Spirit in my dreams. I'm more in tune with my body and its rhythms. I inherently know what foods my body will reject, so I stay away from them.
And I don't care about obtaining a teaching job.
A lot of people look at me and say, oh no, don't give up! You graduated during a recession! Something will open up!
But I don't care anymore. For a long time, I thought that working hard, getting a college degree, and putting myself out there in the teaching world would be the path to my success. I temporarily taught in other people's jobs for three years, subjected myself as a substitute per diem in a district for almost a year (that didn't give me the time of day when they had two art openings), and completed illustrating a children's book that someone else wrote.
I just completed my first major research paper on Gifting as a Tool for Individual and Societal Transformation. Gifting is a term to describe the notion of giving of yourself unconditionally to others without expectancy of reciprocation. Kind of like "Pay it Forward". Gifting is a core aspect of society within the Burning Man Festival and other BM regional events. I specifically focused on three artists that contributed public art to Burning Man, and how the work that they did changed them and connected with the society at large.
My paper culminates a lot of different sources and hints that conscious evolution (or making active changes to better our world) is the key to societal transformation through gifting. But when I looked back at it, I noticed that I had failed to mention why I wrote it in the first place.
Why did I write it? Because I longed to be part of a society that I knew would accept me and help nourish my inner gifts. I haven't even been to Burning Man yet, nor one of the official regionals (mainly because of ticketing and scheduling snafus).
Yet, I still got what I needed from doing the research. I got the sense that I have inner gifts that are now emerging because I no longer allow my job to define who I am.
Sometimes I still have that nagging doubt on my shoulder, and it usually stems from our current harsh society's judgments about how to be successful and how to make money. I am drawn to pursue understanding of my spiritual awakening and to continue to dedicate myself to learning the cello, creating a musical genre, and spreading the joy of music and song to others.
Inside of me, there is a loving source that is making me physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than I have ever been before.