The Big Time --- Cry Baby Series, Chapter Four (Jack/Liz)
Title: The Big Time
Author: grenyarnia
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1950
Summary: Jack helps Liz and her Big Ben-sized biological clock. Chapter 4. Chapter 1 starts here.
Feedback/comments always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Don't sue
As Jack's plush town car slowly slithers through the Midtown traffic, the back seat is nearly silent. Liz just keeps looking at the ultrasound picture and smiling, a few tear drops slowly rolling down her cheeks.
"You okay, Lemon?" Jack asks.
She snaps back to attention, but has no idea what he said. "Huh? What?"
"You're uncharacteristically quiet, Liz. Are you alright?”
She shakes her head, palm on her forehead, comically fretting, “Sorry. I'm being such a sap, aren’t I?" She starts to tuck the picture away in her bag.
He reaches over to stop her. "No, Lemon, it's okay," he chuckles. "You're supposed to be sappy about stuff like this."
"Yeah, I’m not being overly weird, right?" She stares at the picture a few beats longer, eventually pressing it to her chest, over her heart. Her voice softens with overwhelming contentment.
"I just...I just can't believe it. I'm going to be this little boy's mom." Eyes back on the picture, she says, "This is my baby."
She sighs so sweetly, so lovingly, Jack starts to smile, pleased to see her so overcome with happiness.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so quiet and ignore you. Quiet is the last thing I want to be right now, actually. I'm ready to scream it from the heavens. I'm gonna have a baby! And it’s awesome!"
Jack laughs cheerfully along with her. "Really? You're ready to tell everybody?" he asks just as the car pulls up in front of 30 Rock. Exiting first, he offers his arm to help her.
Standing next to him on the sidewalk, Liz looks up at him with pure joy radiating from her smile. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "Yeah, I'm ready. I'm gonna call my parents as soon as I get upstairs."
"And the writers? Your crew?"
"All I have to do is tell Jenna. Everyone else will know in five minutes."
He snickers quietly, certain she's completely correct. He grabs the door, holds it open for her to pass through. As they head to the elevators, his mindset starts to change.
"Lemon, perhaps it would be better to tell everyone all together at once. The staff meeting this afternoon would be ideal. I’d like to be there, too. I don't want those clowns giving you -"
She stops walking and stops him mid-sentence, waving off his concern. "You know what? You don't have to worry about me, Jack. They can say whatever they want. I don't care what anyone else thinks anymore. I really don't."
She’s still clutching the picture tightly in her hand, her eyes misting again when she looks down at it. She restarts towards the elevator banks, never taking her eyes off of it.
Her voice trailing as she gets further away, Jack can still distinctly hear her say, "This little guy's all I care about now."
****
Within the hour, Jack hears Jonathan answer the ringing phone, screech like a terrified little girl and come running into his office.
"Mr. Donaghy! Oh...my...God. You will never believe -"
Not even lifting his head to acknowledge his assistant's presence, Jack responds flatly, "Don't waste my time, Jonathan. I already know."
Jonathan stops dead in his tracks. "What? I haven't even told you who it's -"
“You’re about to tell me that Liz Lemon is pregnant.” Jack tosses his pen down on the desk, sits back in the chair with his arms folded across his chest, eyes squinting menacingly. “Am I correct?”
"Yeah," Jonathan mumbles, the wind completely knocked out of his tawdry, gossipy sails.
Jack smirks mercilessly at him, somehow makes his voice sound even more condescending than usual. "She's 14 weeks pregnant, if you'd like to get technical. Her due date is May 25th. And she's having a boy."
Jonathan’s expression still reeks of disbelief. "Well, I wasn't told that. I'd have to validate -"
Jack scoffs loudly. "Validate? Liz told me herself, Jonathan. Months ago, as soon as she found out. And she just learned the sex of the baby this morning. I even saw his little baby penis on the ultrasound photo. Is that validated enough for you?"
"But she went to a sperm bank! Can you believe that?!"
"Why is the source of her impregnation any of your business? Who are you to judge? Didn't you and your past sugar daddy talk about buying an egg and getting some poor, desperate woman in India to carry it to term for you? Outsourcing a womb, wow. What will they think of next?"
Jonathan has no response to his verbal lashing, and Jack has no intention of stopping.
"Why don't you just congratulate Liz the next time you see her like the kind and decent human being you are periodically able to be? This is something she's wanted all her life. Just be happy for her. If you finally realized your life's dream, you'd want people to be happy for you, wouldn't you? So when hell freezes over, and you somehow get me locked in here with you and a detonated gay bomb; as soon as I come to my senses and stop sobbing with shame, I'll be sure to notify Liz that she owes you a celebratory high five. Alright?”
Jonathan swallows hard, "Sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Donaghy. I'll let you get back to work."
"Fantastic idea. Thank you."
****
Much later that day, she visits his office for a chat, as she so often does. This time she comes with an extensive agenda, talking a mile a minute.
"Hey, Jack, you got a minute? I need your help. Do you have life insurance? Yeah, I gotta get some of that. I don't know how much, though. You probably know somebody who sells that, right? Ooh, and a real estate broker. Who won’t rip me off in this town? I need a bigger apartment. It'll be so much harder to move after I have the baby, and I'm pretty sure my apartment has lead paint pretty much...everywhere. So yeah, I need a new place, like ASAP. And remember when you mentioned you were having your lawyer write some stuff up for us? Confidentiality agreements, termination of parental rights, all that jazz. Where are we with that? And how much do I owe for the legal fees and stuff? I mean, you shouldn't have to pay for that. That's my responsibility, not yours. And -”
"Liz, I'm getting short of breath. You've used up all the oxygen in here."
"Sorry," she laughs, finally calming down. She sits on the couch next to him. "I'm sorry. I’ve just been freaking out about all the stuff I need to do. I’ll shut up now. How was your day?"
"Fine. And yours?"
"Busy,” she sighs.
"Clearly," he chuckles. “So how did all your little announcements go?"
"Well, um, pretty much the way I expected. I called my folks. My mom answered, she was a little tipsy already by noon. At first, she yelled at me for trying to play a mean spirited prank on her and my father. But after about ten minutes, she finally believed me, so then she fainted. My Dad called back a few minutes later to say she was fine.” Liz lowers her voice to impersonate her dad’s patronizing diction, adding air quotes where appropriate. “And while they don't agree with my ‘lifestyle choices,’ they're happy for me and excited to finally have a grandchild.”
“Jenna claimed she knew for weeks I was pregnant. Since she’s so wickedly perceptive, even though she’s beautiful. Tracy stood up and screamed, ‘That kid ain’t mine!’ and locked himself in his dressing room. Toofer wanted to know if my donor went to Harvard. Pete’s already trying to pawn a bunch of baby toys and furniture off on me so he can finally clear out his garage and put some sort of ‘Man Privacy Cave’ out there or something. Frank immediately called dibs on the afterbirth. Cerie’s very concerned I’ll be spreading myself too thin trying to raise four kids all by myself. Kenneth just quietly said he would pray for me and my bastard child. And afterwards, I spent all afternoon making to-do lists and maxing out one of my credit cards ordering baby books online and about a million and a half little blue onesies with smart ass sayings on them.”
Finally finished, she looks over at Jack and they both bust out laughing.
“So no real surprises, then?” Jack cracks.
Liz shakes her head, laughs louder still. “No, not really.”
Jack glances at his watch when they quiet down. “Well, Lemon, I can assure you I will address your long list of concerns as soon as possible. I’m meeting Hannah for dinner in twenty minutes, but I can email you information later tonight. Is that sufficient?”
“Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it, Jack. Whenever you get a chance is fine, really. I don’t know, seeing the little guy this morning with my own eyes just made me realize how much stuff I need to do. Get a bigger place, sign up for Lamaze class, find a good pediatrician, pick out a name. Gah! Things are happening! Lots and lots of things!”
Jack chuckles a little awkwardly, not really sure what to say. “Well, you’ve still got about six months, right?”
They both get up and head towards the door. “Yeah, and what great timing with my due date. The kid shouldn’t be popping out until we’re done for the season. I’ll have all summer at home with him, and won’t have to take any maternity leave while we’re still in production. Bonus!”
“Indeed. God knows those air heads can’t function without you here.”
They head down the hall and finish their cordial goodbyes. Liz hops on the ‘up’ elevator, but throws her arm in the door and jumps out at the last second.
“Jesus, Lemon, be careful,” Jack scolds her.
“But I forgot!” she starts, a little short of breath from the quick maneuvering. “I forgot to say thanks. Thank you for coming with me today. Thank you for...everything, Jack. I can’t thank you enough.” Her voice catches at the end and she looks down at the floor.
“You’re welcome, Liz. Truthfully, I’m honored that you’d let me help you with this.”
She reaches in her pocket and hands him something. “Here. Do you want a copy? They gave me a bunch at the clinic.”
He takes the tiny ultrasound picture from her. “Um, sure. Thank you.”
She looks up at him and slowly steps closer, wrapping her arms around him in a giant hug.
“Liz, it’s fine,” he stammers.
“Just shut up and let me hug you, you big dork. None of this would be happening if you weren’t such an awesome friend.”
He sort of stiffly returns the hug. “I’ve got to go, Lemon.”
She pulls back and steps away from him. “Oh, yeah, right. I’m sorry. You need to go.”
Jack’s ‘down’ elevator arrives, dinging loudly. He steps in, says, “Goodnight, Lemon.”
She waves, smiles awkwardly. “Goodnight, Jack. See you tomorrow.”
As she turns to leave, it’s like an instant replay, but this time Jack opens the door at the last second. “Lemon, wait!”
She spins around, surprised to see him.
“Would you like to come to dinner? With Hannah and me?”
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No thanks, Jack.”
He pushes the elevator doors back to keep them open, beckoning her to come along. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We can celebrate.” She keeps shaking her head. “Lemon,” he growls. “Get in here. You’re coming with me.”
The doors jerk against him again. He steadies himself and reaches out to grab her arm, pulling her in with him. “Liz, I insist. We need to celebrate.”
TBC
Author: grenyarnia
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1950
Summary: Jack helps Liz and her Big Ben-sized biological clock. Chapter 4. Chapter 1 starts here.
Feedback/comments always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Don't sue
As Jack's plush town car slowly slithers through the Midtown traffic, the back seat is nearly silent. Liz just keeps looking at the ultrasound picture and smiling, a few tear drops slowly rolling down her cheeks.
"You okay, Lemon?" Jack asks.
She snaps back to attention, but has no idea what he said. "Huh? What?"
"You're uncharacteristically quiet, Liz. Are you alright?”
She shakes her head, palm on her forehead, comically fretting, “Sorry. I'm being such a sap, aren’t I?" She starts to tuck the picture away in her bag.
He reaches over to stop her. "No, Lemon, it's okay," he chuckles. "You're supposed to be sappy about stuff like this."
"Yeah, I’m not being overly weird, right?" She stares at the picture a few beats longer, eventually pressing it to her chest, over her heart. Her voice softens with overwhelming contentment.
"I just...I just can't believe it. I'm going to be this little boy's mom." Eyes back on the picture, she says, "This is my baby."
She sighs so sweetly, so lovingly, Jack starts to smile, pleased to see her so overcome with happiness.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so quiet and ignore you. Quiet is the last thing I want to be right now, actually. I'm ready to scream it from the heavens. I'm gonna have a baby! And it’s awesome!"
Jack laughs cheerfully along with her. "Really? You're ready to tell everybody?" he asks just as the car pulls up in front of 30 Rock. Exiting first, he offers his arm to help her.
Standing next to him on the sidewalk, Liz looks up at him with pure joy radiating from her smile. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "Yeah, I'm ready. I'm gonna call my parents as soon as I get upstairs."
"And the writers? Your crew?"
"All I have to do is tell Jenna. Everyone else will know in five minutes."
He snickers quietly, certain she's completely correct. He grabs the door, holds it open for her to pass through. As they head to the elevators, his mindset starts to change.
"Lemon, perhaps it would be better to tell everyone all together at once. The staff meeting this afternoon would be ideal. I’d like to be there, too. I don't want those clowns giving you -"
She stops walking and stops him mid-sentence, waving off his concern. "You know what? You don't have to worry about me, Jack. They can say whatever they want. I don't care what anyone else thinks anymore. I really don't."
She’s still clutching the picture tightly in her hand, her eyes misting again when she looks down at it. She restarts towards the elevator banks, never taking her eyes off of it.
Her voice trailing as she gets further away, Jack can still distinctly hear her say, "This little guy's all I care about now."
****
Within the hour, Jack hears Jonathan answer the ringing phone, screech like a terrified little girl and come running into his office.
"Mr. Donaghy! Oh...my...God. You will never believe -"
Not even lifting his head to acknowledge his assistant's presence, Jack responds flatly, "Don't waste my time, Jonathan. I already know."
Jonathan stops dead in his tracks. "What? I haven't even told you who it's -"
“You’re about to tell me that Liz Lemon is pregnant.” Jack tosses his pen down on the desk, sits back in the chair with his arms folded across his chest, eyes squinting menacingly. “Am I correct?”
"Yeah," Jonathan mumbles, the wind completely knocked out of his tawdry, gossipy sails.
Jack smirks mercilessly at him, somehow makes his voice sound even more condescending than usual. "She's 14 weeks pregnant, if you'd like to get technical. Her due date is May 25th. And she's having a boy."
Jonathan’s expression still reeks of disbelief. "Well, I wasn't told that. I'd have to validate -"
Jack scoffs loudly. "Validate? Liz told me herself, Jonathan. Months ago, as soon as she found out. And she just learned the sex of the baby this morning. I even saw his little baby penis on the ultrasound photo. Is that validated enough for you?"
"But she went to a sperm bank! Can you believe that?!"
"Why is the source of her impregnation any of your business? Who are you to judge? Didn't you and your past sugar daddy talk about buying an egg and getting some poor, desperate woman in India to carry it to term for you? Outsourcing a womb, wow. What will they think of next?"
Jonathan has no response to his verbal lashing, and Jack has no intention of stopping.
"Why don't you just congratulate Liz the next time you see her like the kind and decent human being you are periodically able to be? This is something she's wanted all her life. Just be happy for her. If you finally realized your life's dream, you'd want people to be happy for you, wouldn't you? So when hell freezes over, and you somehow get me locked in here with you and a detonated gay bomb; as soon as I come to my senses and stop sobbing with shame, I'll be sure to notify Liz that she owes you a celebratory high five. Alright?”
Jonathan swallows hard, "Sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Donaghy. I'll let you get back to work."
"Fantastic idea. Thank you."
****
Much later that day, she visits his office for a chat, as she so often does. This time she comes with an extensive agenda, talking a mile a minute.
"Hey, Jack, you got a minute? I need your help. Do you have life insurance? Yeah, I gotta get some of that. I don't know how much, though. You probably know somebody who sells that, right? Ooh, and a real estate broker. Who won’t rip me off in this town? I need a bigger apartment. It'll be so much harder to move after I have the baby, and I'm pretty sure my apartment has lead paint pretty much...everywhere. So yeah, I need a new place, like ASAP. And remember when you mentioned you were having your lawyer write some stuff up for us? Confidentiality agreements, termination of parental rights, all that jazz. Where are we with that? And how much do I owe for the legal fees and stuff? I mean, you shouldn't have to pay for that. That's my responsibility, not yours. And -”
"Liz, I'm getting short of breath. You've used up all the oxygen in here."
"Sorry," she laughs, finally calming down. She sits on the couch next to him. "I'm sorry. I’ve just been freaking out about all the stuff I need to do. I’ll shut up now. How was your day?"
"Fine. And yours?"
"Busy,” she sighs.
"Clearly," he chuckles. “So how did all your little announcements go?"
"Well, um, pretty much the way I expected. I called my folks. My mom answered, she was a little tipsy already by noon. At first, she yelled at me for trying to play a mean spirited prank on her and my father. But after about ten minutes, she finally believed me, so then she fainted. My Dad called back a few minutes later to say she was fine.” Liz lowers her voice to impersonate her dad’s patronizing diction, adding air quotes where appropriate. “And while they don't agree with my ‘lifestyle choices,’ they're happy for me and excited to finally have a grandchild.”
“Jenna claimed she knew for weeks I was pregnant. Since she’s so wickedly perceptive, even though she’s beautiful. Tracy stood up and screamed, ‘That kid ain’t mine!’ and locked himself in his dressing room. Toofer wanted to know if my donor went to Harvard. Pete’s already trying to pawn a bunch of baby toys and furniture off on me so he can finally clear out his garage and put some sort of ‘Man Privacy Cave’ out there or something. Frank immediately called dibs on the afterbirth. Cerie’s very concerned I’ll be spreading myself too thin trying to raise four kids all by myself. Kenneth just quietly said he would pray for me and my bastard child. And afterwards, I spent all afternoon making to-do lists and maxing out one of my credit cards ordering baby books online and about a million and a half little blue onesies with smart ass sayings on them.”
Finally finished, she looks over at Jack and they both bust out laughing.
“So no real surprises, then?” Jack cracks.
Liz shakes her head, laughs louder still. “No, not really.”
Jack glances at his watch when they quiet down. “Well, Lemon, I can assure you I will address your long list of concerns as soon as possible. I’m meeting Hannah for dinner in twenty minutes, but I can email you information later tonight. Is that sufficient?”
“Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it, Jack. Whenever you get a chance is fine, really. I don’t know, seeing the little guy this morning with my own eyes just made me realize how much stuff I need to do. Get a bigger place, sign up for Lamaze class, find a good pediatrician, pick out a name. Gah! Things are happening! Lots and lots of things!”
Jack chuckles a little awkwardly, not really sure what to say. “Well, you’ve still got about six months, right?”
They both get up and head towards the door. “Yeah, and what great timing with my due date. The kid shouldn’t be popping out until we’re done for the season. I’ll have all summer at home with him, and won’t have to take any maternity leave while we’re still in production. Bonus!”
“Indeed. God knows those air heads can’t function without you here.”
They head down the hall and finish their cordial goodbyes. Liz hops on the ‘up’ elevator, but throws her arm in the door and jumps out at the last second.
“Jesus, Lemon, be careful,” Jack scolds her.
“But I forgot!” she starts, a little short of breath from the quick maneuvering. “I forgot to say thanks. Thank you for coming with me today. Thank you for...everything, Jack. I can’t thank you enough.” Her voice catches at the end and she looks down at the floor.
“You’re welcome, Liz. Truthfully, I’m honored that you’d let me help you with this.”
She reaches in her pocket and hands him something. “Here. Do you want a copy? They gave me a bunch at the clinic.”
He takes the tiny ultrasound picture from her. “Um, sure. Thank you.”
She looks up at him and slowly steps closer, wrapping her arms around him in a giant hug.
“Liz, it’s fine,” he stammers.
“Just shut up and let me hug you, you big dork. None of this would be happening if you weren’t such an awesome friend.”
He sort of stiffly returns the hug. “I’ve got to go, Lemon.”
She pulls back and steps away from him. “Oh, yeah, right. I’m sorry. You need to go.”
Jack’s ‘down’ elevator arrives, dinging loudly. He steps in, says, “Goodnight, Lemon.”
She waves, smiles awkwardly. “Goodnight, Jack. See you tomorrow.”
As she turns to leave, it’s like an instant replay, but this time Jack opens the door at the last second. “Lemon, wait!”
She spins around, surprised to see him.
“Would you like to come to dinner? With Hannah and me?”
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No thanks, Jack.”
He pushes the elevator doors back to keep them open, beckoning her to come along. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We can celebrate.” She keeps shaking her head. “Lemon,” he growls. “Get in here. You’re coming with me.”
The doors jerk against him again. He steadies himself and reaches out to grab her arm, pulling her in with him. “Liz, I insist. We need to celebrate.”
TBC