We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident
WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT-
PROLOGUE-
WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT-
you probalbly already know that the title of my LJ "We hold these truths to be self-evident" was written in the declaration of independence by thomas jefferson on July 2nd 1776
america did not declare independence on July 4th--- it dint acheive independence on july fourth--- america dint seal their independence in writing on July 4th
(jus a lil history for u)
y is that our independence day---- that was the day that the declarations principles were approved(allthough the delegates dint finish signing it until 5 years later)
all of the following are the truths that ive found--- but they r not self evident-- thats y im here (to present evidence)
(THE MORE INTELLECTUAL THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WILL BE PRESENTED LATER IN THE ENTRY)
I installed chapters for ur convienience so that it will be easier to read this journal and u can take breaks an it will be easier to find ur place when u come back later
CHAPTER 1-
i went to church camp last week which was pretty gay-- but it was on the beach so it was kool---- i roomed with Matt Bly and Bradley Mathews(two kool kiddos)
i read about 30 somethin LJs -- every word of em----- and i look at them and i read some good entries and some bad entries---- some things ppl say matter--- and the other things dont--- but i then go and read every comment--- and most of the comments say stupid vague remarks like i love u --- or ur the coolest---- that jus lets the person no that whut they wrote wasnt worth ur time--
the wise minds discuss ideas
the average minds discuss events
the small minds discuss people
CHAPTER 2-
ok so if u dint already know------- jennifer broke up with me on the 26th---- which pretty much sucks gay ass cuz ive been waitin all this time for her to come back to san angelo---- the last day that i saw her before she left for her wonderful 2 month vacation-- jennifer told me that she loved me--- it was the first time she sed that to someone that wasnt a family member(so it wasnt ur typical empty i love u)--- i was honored-- and then like 3 weeks later she gives me a call and says that she has no feelings for me and thinks that we shoodnt go out anymore---how can u lose love so fast---- ill tell u y---- cuz she never loved me--- she only thought she did--- so as usual i get screwed over--- but its all good--- i kinda dont wanna care anymore--- i kinda want to become ur typical guy thats a real asshole to girls--- cuz things always work out better for them
now as u can tell i do not care for jennifer anymore--- and u mite ask me how is that-- when jus a few entries ago i was sayin that i love her---- well i found out that i dint love her--- it wasnt that the feeling wasnt rite but it was that jennifer wasnt rite---- jennifer basically is a living lie and i eventually found out that i loved a lie--- and that the person that i loved so dearly, truly dint exist--- this is why im going to give up on attempting love for a while
CHAPTER-3
Isle-Altar-Hymn
Now to tell u about the title-"Isle-Alter-Hymn" these are the three things you do when your getting married-
You walk down the Isle
You stand by the Altar
You Listen to The Hymn(Christian Wedding Song)
Isle Altar Hymn
I'll Alter Him
you see the hidden message here-------- when u get married ur loved one has motives of their own- desperate desires and unadmirable plans
they want to alter us-----no im not gonna get off subject and start talkin bout mairrage---------no im going to relate this to church- when i went to camp the many ppl at camp that think im satan had the intention of altering me into the person they think i should be---- they dont think god did a good enough job in making me so they think that they can edit gods creation---- these ppl planned on brain washing me with the emotional mountain top experience----- so if i come back to skool and start preachin at ppl then plz do me a favor and slap me
i really dint feel like gettin into my beliefs rite now (partly cuz this journal is already long enough already-----but another reason is that my beliefs are still developing---- plus the time isnt rite)
CHAPTER-4
GOD GAVE US LIFE... HES AN INDIAN GIVER
-if u think real hard u can find bad in anyone- if u concentrate on those bad things long enough u will start to only notice the bad and that makes u a cynical condescending person-- theres alot of things that grab my attention-- and u cood name anyone and i cood tell u somethin bad about them--- i cood almost make anyone seem kaniving and evil-- jus to prove it---heres some things about god--- first u cood think about the title of the LJ------- plus whut about Job(pronounce Joe then add b)--- he loved god and did whut god told him to---- well god let his servant Job be torchered and god let Job go through so many horrible things all at once--- god let Jobs world fall apart--- and god did all of this jus to win a stupid bet with Satan------ and whut about Judas--- Judas was one of Jesus closest friends and Judas loved Jesus and Judas Followed Jesus teachings-- one day Judas gets tired of all the people in the world that dont believe that Jesus is the son of god--- so Judas decides to basically sell out Jesus and let him be crucified--- but goin into this Judas thought this wood put Jesus into a position that wood give Jesus no option but to use his almighty power to escape the clutches of the romans---and using his power wood show the people that he really is the son of god--- and then everyone would believe in him just like Judas wanted---- also Judas had to sell out Jesus so that a prophecy from the old testament would be fufilled----- so Judas followed the will of god when doing all of this--- and in return for following the will of god--- Judas burns in Hell for eternity--- theres jus somethin wrong with that------
are u seeing whut im sayin--- god is good--- but i jus focused on some negative things and i bet it almost feel that god was bad---- that jus proves my theory about concentrating on the good or the bad--- thats all u will come to see---------this is jus like seein the glass half empty or half full--- if its half full then u r greatful that some1 came along and filled up ur glass halfway --- and u see that life is so much better than it could be
but if u see life as half empty then u roam around life wonderin who the Hell stole the rest of ur water--- and u focus on how much better u think life should be
CHAPTER-5
i see the summer as the desert for boyfriend and girlfriend relationships---
rite before arriving in the desert many ppl fear whut mite happen so they bail out rite before they get to the summer
but some ppl try to make it through the desert and only the strong survive
too many ppl die trying
CHAPTER-6
thats the problem with the world(failure) the problem isnt exactly failure(cuz failure is inevitable) but the problem is how ppl take failure and whut they do with their failure--- too many ppl ponder over their failure and feel sorry for themselves(guilty) but it better to learn from ur mistakes and move on--- when one door closes another one opens--- but most ppl spend so much time staring at the closed door that they dont even notice the opened one)
There is dignity in suffering,
nobility in pain,
but failure is a salted wound,
that burns and burns again
WHO FEELS LIKE A FAILURE-
Failure doesnt mean your a loser
it just means youve tried ways that havent worked
Failure doesnt mean you havent accomplished anything
it just means you havent succeeded yet
Failure doesnt mean your not good enough
it just means you should try harder
Failure doesnt mean you are inferior
it just means you are not perfect
Failure doesnt mean youve wasted your time
it just means you need more practice
Failure doesnt mean you should give up
it just means you should correct your mistakes
Failure doesnt mean you'll never make it
it just means it may take a little longer
Failure doesnt mean Gods abandoned you
it just means hes letting you make your own decisions
CHAPTER-7
THE FOLLOWING WERE THE FIRST THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE BREAKUP
#1
this contrite feeling was caused-by the dismay of one who is narcissistic- this was already my apprehension-but i have deeply developed my cognition-though i have learned much, i still feel so dejected-im not sure i can explain this feeling of confiding with the dearest of my life-and as result i become entirely exploited by the deception of this incubus-why did the only thing that mattered in my life abandon me-leaving me nothing but this desolate feeling-and thoughts of suicide which are no longer an option now that intamacy is removed from its components
#2
why am i the prodigy
why am i the phenomenon
why am i the excitement
why am i the love
why am i the monotony
why am i lying
it was in full bloom
now its just stagnant
i called u agin
but of course u werent there
has any1 ever had this peculiar feeling
the spear that travels up your stomach and stabs ur heart
try clearing every minute of your schedule to spend time with the only person on earth that doesnt desire to spend their time with you
#3
The poet picks his rhyming----and thoughts become inspiring
the wise mans ingredients----are judgment, age, experience
the genius feels vanity------and flashes of insanity
the sculptor needs quality-----to carve upon reality
Your time for me is quality-your absence makes me wise
your presence will inspire-my vanity is demised
the sculptor made you wonderful-your beauty will define
how beautiful would be to feel-your fingers into mine
#4
CRYING UNDERWATER-
if u were the worst
if u were cursed
if u cood see
that u were me
if you started
bein retarted
if you stop
bein on top
if it was a sensation
beyond explanation
its ur facsination
am i ur inspiration
if i was ur limition
if i was ur isolation
this is my congradulation
on ur infatuation
with a limited imagination
whuts ur interpretation
am i the procrastination
am i the invitation
to ur obligation
am i the reservation
for ur transformation
am i jus conversation
or am i a combination
of ur motivation
and the situation
am i a lack of concentration
do u need some of coltons medication
we are the youth of the nation
we are the children of creation
we are the donation
of our own masturbation
it results in the creation
in the broken relation
from the temptation
of ur own vacation
lets have a celebration
i'll invite the whole congregation
u git the decoration
we can be happy that ur destination
is just an imitation
of everyones expectation
i am ur dedication
i am ur desperation
i am ur admiration
i am ur realization
that ur presentation
of regulation
is relaxation
i am the correlation
im the illistration
of ur hesitation
im the information
u git after graduation
i am the revelation
of ur termination
i am the acceleration
that the addministration
will have no afiliation
i am ur hydration
im the argumentation
on ur assassination
i am the collaberation
of the intergration
with descrimination
i am the anticipation
for ur appreciation
i am the information
that the population
gits the misinterpritation
that im a simulation
of the speculation
of ur stimulation
im operation
amplification
my visitation
is more than jus a violation
but my vindication
works against my vaccination
im the personification
of my characteration
of my intensification
im the investigation
at the orientation
of the manifestation
i am the hallusination
of the improvisation
of harmonization
im the organization
of the manipulitation
of abused pacification
it started out all about u
now its all about me
you have the wrong view
thats why u cant see
isnt it great
how i decide ur fate
doesnt it suck
that i dont give a fuck
when no 1 is listening
when no 1 is understanding
that your criscening
is ur doomed crash landing
is it wrong
that u dont understand my song
take this how u want
and if u still dont understand then ask
this is my flaunt
and its no use to mask
i no this is gonna be scary
but try using a dictionary
ask and u shall receive
work and u shall earn
lie and u shall decieve
listen and u shall learn
#5
ok some tips for the future--
jus cuz u think u love some1---- doesnt mean u do---
jus cuz some1 says they love u--- doesnt mean its true----
jus cuz u r well liked--- doesnt mean love is for u---
jus cuz u know everything doesnt mean u cant learn something new
#6
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny
CHAPTER-8
so for the fourth of july i went to symphonys lake house with some kool ppl---- while there i tried gettin on the lil trampoline thing that was on the lake--- but i was havin trouble gittin on it ----- and symphony extended her hand as if to help me up---but i refused this and i was determined to git myself up--- while i struggled to get up symphony told me "zac, sometimes in life u have to have help, i bet u wrote somethin about that in ur live journal once" -- so i decided to write on this(thanx for the idea symphony)
well whut symphony sed wuz true( we all need help)(mentally?)(physically?)(socially?)(emotionally?)
while we all need help at one time or another --- some ppl depend too much on help from others---- too many ppl git addicted to this help------ppl abuse help----- like my little brother--- he has always had other ppl help him (they usually jus do it for him-like cleanin his room)---- he depends on help so much that he cant even ride his bike unless some one holds the bike up for him while hes riding(and hes 10 years old) i mean for gods sake--- i cood ride a bike with 2 wheels when i was 3------ and for this reason i think that when he grows up he will be in such a mess bcuz help wont always be available
now other ppl chose to do everything on their own-- and they r much too prideful to let someone remove some of the burden on their back----
i think im at a happy medium when it comes to needin help and usin help
CHAPTER-9
Life is like a bullet---- when the man holdin the gun pulls that trigger u r then born---- ur childhood is the time u spend traveling through the gun--- attempting an exit(out of the house) so u can become an adult bullet once u leave the guns nozzle-- now the gun itself is ur parents-- and they will aim u in the direction they think u shood go-- and that often determines where u end up ---- ur parents have an idea of where they want u to end up--- but eventually u r out of ur parents grasp--- and u grow up---- and there may be many things that cood effect ur life---- u may hit a tree(like drugs) and bounce in a different direction--- u may soar high and never hit a thing until u meet ur peak and u start goin down until u crash to the ground---(or ur parents may shoot u straight into the ground)
so if u want to change the outcome of ur flight--- then the sooner u change ur direction the better--and the more effective it will be
(READ THIS)
do u ever wish u cood stop at a certain moment in ur day--- and freeze frame in that certain moment-- and then say to urself--- this is not my life(if u dont understand now --- then someday u will)
CHAPTER-10
every time i see a romantic kiss on a movie or TV
i kick myself and ask why isnt that me
remember guys-- ignorance is bliss--- y arent u happy
i helped the world
but i forgot to help myself
Dont go away mad, just go away
To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse
Its Better To Lose A Lover Than Love A Loser
CHAPTER-11
Multi-Lyrical--
i strap myself into bed
with a bullet proof vest
and i shoot myself in the head
btw if u see my dad
tell him i slit his throat in this dream i had
Everything that keeps me together is falling apart,
Ive got this thing that I consider my only art
of fucking people over
The 3rd Planet is sure that they're being watched by an eye in the sky that cant be stopped
When you get to the promise land your gonna shake that eyes hand
EPILOGUE-
dashboard confessional once wrote in a song "just cuz youve drawn out these lines- are you protected you from trying times"
that means that--- in life we make rules and limits and boundaries and such basically to keep us safe from stuff that can mess up ur life(or part of ur life) but no matter how much u try to gaurd urslelf--- u will eventually git screwed over in one way or another--- and u will eventually prolly git screwed over by the one you trust the most (girlfriend- boyfriend- best friend- mom- dad- sister- brother- pastor- coach- idol)
im basically sayin that all these defenses that the insecure population puts up to protect itself really is pointless---- its like locking all the windows in ur house yet there is no door to close in the door way
basically tragedy will find its way into ur life one way or another--- theres no stoppin it
i want u to be who u r and say whut u feel
i want u to find urself and embrace whut u have found
i want u to live life to the fullest
and live every day like its ur last---cuz someday it will be
-Stalker-
PROLOGUE-
WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT-
you probalbly already know that the title of my LJ "We hold these truths to be self-evident" was written in the declaration of independence by thomas jefferson on July 2nd 1776
america did not declare independence on July 4th--- it dint acheive independence on july fourth--- america dint seal their independence in writing on July 4th
(jus a lil history for u)
y is that our independence day---- that was the day that the declarations principles were approved(allthough the delegates dint finish signing it until 5 years later)
all of the following are the truths that ive found--- but they r not self evident-- thats y im here (to present evidence)
(THE MORE INTELLECTUAL THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WILL BE PRESENTED LATER IN THE ENTRY)
I installed chapters for ur convienience so that it will be easier to read this journal and u can take breaks an it will be easier to find ur place when u come back later
CHAPTER 1-
i went to church camp last week which was pretty gay-- but it was on the beach so it was kool---- i roomed with Matt Bly and Bradley Mathews(two kool kiddos)
i read about 30 somethin LJs -- every word of em----- and i look at them and i read some good entries and some bad entries---- some things ppl say matter--- and the other things dont--- but i then go and read every comment--- and most of the comments say stupid vague remarks like i love u --- or ur the coolest---- that jus lets the person no that whut they wrote wasnt worth ur time--
the wise minds discuss ideas
the average minds discuss events
the small minds discuss people
CHAPTER 2-
ok so if u dint already know------- jennifer broke up with me on the 26th---- which pretty much sucks gay ass cuz ive been waitin all this time for her to come back to san angelo---- the last day that i saw her before she left for her wonderful 2 month vacation-- jennifer told me that she loved me--- it was the first time she sed that to someone that wasnt a family member(so it wasnt ur typical empty i love u)--- i was honored-- and then like 3 weeks later she gives me a call and says that she has no feelings for me and thinks that we shoodnt go out anymore---how can u lose love so fast---- ill tell u y---- cuz she never loved me--- she only thought she did--- so as usual i get screwed over--- but its all good--- i kinda dont wanna care anymore--- i kinda want to become ur typical guy thats a real asshole to girls--- cuz things always work out better for them
now as u can tell i do not care for jennifer anymore--- and u mite ask me how is that-- when jus a few entries ago i was sayin that i love her---- well i found out that i dint love her--- it wasnt that the feeling wasnt rite but it was that jennifer wasnt rite---- jennifer basically is a living lie and i eventually found out that i loved a lie--- and that the person that i loved so dearly, truly dint exist--- this is why im going to give up on attempting love for a while
CHAPTER-3
Isle-Altar-Hymn
Now to tell u about the title-"Isle-Alter-Hymn" these are the three things you do when your getting married-
You walk down the Isle
You stand by the Altar
You Listen to The Hymn(Christian Wedding Song)
Isle Altar Hymn
I'll Alter Him
you see the hidden message here-------- when u get married ur loved one has motives of their own- desperate desires and unadmirable plans
they want to alter us-----no im not gonna get off subject and start talkin bout mairrage---------no im going to relate this to church- when i went to camp the many ppl at camp that think im satan had the intention of altering me into the person they think i should be---- they dont think god did a good enough job in making me so they think that they can edit gods creation---- these ppl planned on brain washing me with the emotional mountain top experience----- so if i come back to skool and start preachin at ppl then plz do me a favor and slap me
i really dint feel like gettin into my beliefs rite now (partly cuz this journal is already long enough already-----but another reason is that my beliefs are still developing---- plus the time isnt rite)
CHAPTER-4
GOD GAVE US LIFE... HES AN INDIAN GIVER
-if u think real hard u can find bad in anyone- if u concentrate on those bad things long enough u will start to only notice the bad and that makes u a cynical condescending person-- theres alot of things that grab my attention-- and u cood name anyone and i cood tell u somethin bad about them--- i cood almost make anyone seem kaniving and evil-- jus to prove it---heres some things about god--- first u cood think about the title of the LJ------- plus whut about Job(pronounce Joe then add b)--- he loved god and did whut god told him to---- well god let his servant Job be torchered and god let Job go through so many horrible things all at once--- god let Jobs world fall apart--- and god did all of this jus to win a stupid bet with Satan------ and whut about Judas--- Judas was one of Jesus closest friends and Judas loved Jesus and Judas Followed Jesus teachings-- one day Judas gets tired of all the people in the world that dont believe that Jesus is the son of god--- so Judas decides to basically sell out Jesus and let him be crucified--- but goin into this Judas thought this wood put Jesus into a position that wood give Jesus no option but to use his almighty power to escape the clutches of the romans---and using his power wood show the people that he really is the son of god--- and then everyone would believe in him just like Judas wanted---- also Judas had to sell out Jesus so that a prophecy from the old testament would be fufilled----- so Judas followed the will of god when doing all of this--- and in return for following the will of god--- Judas burns in Hell for eternity--- theres jus somethin wrong with that------
are u seeing whut im sayin--- god is good--- but i jus focused on some negative things and i bet it almost feel that god was bad---- that jus proves my theory about concentrating on the good or the bad--- thats all u will come to see---------this is jus like seein the glass half empty or half full--- if its half full then u r greatful that some1 came along and filled up ur glass halfway --- and u see that life is so much better than it could be
but if u see life as half empty then u roam around life wonderin who the Hell stole the rest of ur water--- and u focus on how much better u think life should be
CHAPTER-5
i see the summer as the desert for boyfriend and girlfriend relationships---
rite before arriving in the desert many ppl fear whut mite happen so they bail out rite before they get to the summer
but some ppl try to make it through the desert and only the strong survive
too many ppl die trying
CHAPTER-6
thats the problem with the world(failure) the problem isnt exactly failure(cuz failure is inevitable) but the problem is how ppl take failure and whut they do with their failure--- too many ppl ponder over their failure and feel sorry for themselves(guilty) but it better to learn from ur mistakes and move on--- when one door closes another one opens--- but most ppl spend so much time staring at the closed door that they dont even notice the opened one)
There is dignity in suffering,
nobility in pain,
but failure is a salted wound,
that burns and burns again
WHO FEELS LIKE A FAILURE-
Failure doesnt mean your a loser
it just means youve tried ways that havent worked
Failure doesnt mean you havent accomplished anything
it just means you havent succeeded yet
Failure doesnt mean your not good enough
it just means you should try harder
Failure doesnt mean you are inferior
it just means you are not perfect
Failure doesnt mean youve wasted your time
it just means you need more practice
Failure doesnt mean you should give up
it just means you should correct your mistakes
Failure doesnt mean you'll never make it
it just means it may take a little longer
Failure doesnt mean Gods abandoned you
it just means hes letting you make your own decisions
CHAPTER-7
THE FOLLOWING WERE THE FIRST THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE BREAKUP
#1
this contrite feeling was caused-by the dismay of one who is narcissistic- this was already my apprehension-but i have deeply developed my cognition-though i have learned much, i still feel so dejected-im not sure i can explain this feeling of confiding with the dearest of my life-and as result i become entirely exploited by the deception of this incubus-why did the only thing that mattered in my life abandon me-leaving me nothing but this desolate feeling-and thoughts of suicide which are no longer an option now that intamacy is removed from its components
#2
why am i the prodigy
why am i the phenomenon
why am i the excitement
why am i the love
why am i the monotony
why am i lying
it was in full bloom
now its just stagnant
i called u agin
but of course u werent there
has any1 ever had this peculiar feeling
the spear that travels up your stomach and stabs ur heart
try clearing every minute of your schedule to spend time with the only person on earth that doesnt desire to spend their time with you
#3
The poet picks his rhyming----and thoughts become inspiring
the wise mans ingredients----are judgment, age, experience
the genius feels vanity------and flashes of insanity
the sculptor needs quality-----to carve upon reality
Your time for me is quality-your absence makes me wise
your presence will inspire-my vanity is demised
the sculptor made you wonderful-your beauty will define
how beautiful would be to feel-your fingers into mine
#4
CRYING UNDERWATER-
if u were the worst
if u were cursed
if u cood see
that u were me
if you started
bein retarted
if you stop
bein on top
if it was a sensation
beyond explanation
its ur facsination
am i ur inspiration
if i was ur limition
if i was ur isolation
this is my congradulation
on ur infatuation
with a limited imagination
whuts ur interpretation
am i the procrastination
am i the invitation
to ur obligation
am i the reservation
for ur transformation
am i jus conversation
or am i a combination
of ur motivation
and the situation
am i a lack of concentration
do u need some of coltons medication
we are the youth of the nation
we are the children of creation
we are the donation
of our own masturbation
it results in the creation
in the broken relation
from the temptation
of ur own vacation
lets have a celebration
i'll invite the whole congregation
u git the decoration
we can be happy that ur destination
is just an imitation
of everyones expectation
i am ur dedication
i am ur desperation
i am ur admiration
i am ur realization
that ur presentation
of regulation
is relaxation
i am the correlation
im the illistration
of ur hesitation
im the information
u git after graduation
i am the revelation
of ur termination
i am the acceleration
that the addministration
will have no afiliation
i am ur hydration
im the argumentation
on ur assassination
i am the collaberation
of the intergration
with descrimination
i am the anticipation
for ur appreciation
i am the information
that the population
gits the misinterpritation
that im a simulation
of the speculation
of ur stimulation
im operation
amplification
my visitation
is more than jus a violation
but my vindication
works against my vaccination
im the personification
of my characteration
of my intensification
im the investigation
at the orientation
of the manifestation
i am the hallusination
of the improvisation
of harmonization
im the organization
of the manipulitation
of abused pacification
it started out all about u
now its all about me
you have the wrong view
thats why u cant see
isnt it great
how i decide ur fate
doesnt it suck
that i dont give a fuck
when no 1 is listening
when no 1 is understanding
that your criscening
is ur doomed crash landing
is it wrong
that u dont understand my song
take this how u want
and if u still dont understand then ask
this is my flaunt
and its no use to mask
i no this is gonna be scary
but try using a dictionary
ask and u shall receive
work and u shall earn
lie and u shall decieve
listen and u shall learn
#5
ok some tips for the future--
jus cuz u think u love some1---- doesnt mean u do---
jus cuz some1 says they love u--- doesnt mean its true----
jus cuz u r well liked--- doesnt mean love is for u---
jus cuz u know everything doesnt mean u cant learn something new
#6
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny
CHAPTER-8
so for the fourth of july i went to symphonys lake house with some kool ppl---- while there i tried gettin on the lil trampoline thing that was on the lake--- but i was havin trouble gittin on it ----- and symphony extended her hand as if to help me up---but i refused this and i was determined to git myself up--- while i struggled to get up symphony told me "zac, sometimes in life u have to have help, i bet u wrote somethin about that in ur live journal once" -- so i decided to write on this(thanx for the idea symphony)
well whut symphony sed wuz true( we all need help)(mentally?)(physically?)(socially?)(emotionally?)
while we all need help at one time or another --- some ppl depend too much on help from others---- too many ppl git addicted to this help------ppl abuse help----- like my little brother--- he has always had other ppl help him (they usually jus do it for him-like cleanin his room)---- he depends on help so much that he cant even ride his bike unless some one holds the bike up for him while hes riding(and hes 10 years old) i mean for gods sake--- i cood ride a bike with 2 wheels when i was 3------ and for this reason i think that when he grows up he will be in such a mess bcuz help wont always be available
now other ppl chose to do everything on their own-- and they r much too prideful to let someone remove some of the burden on their back----
i think im at a happy medium when it comes to needin help and usin help
CHAPTER-9
Life is like a bullet---- when the man holdin the gun pulls that trigger u r then born---- ur childhood is the time u spend traveling through the gun--- attempting an exit(out of the house) so u can become an adult bullet once u leave the guns nozzle-- now the gun itself is ur parents-- and they will aim u in the direction they think u shood go-- and that often determines where u end up ---- ur parents have an idea of where they want u to end up--- but eventually u r out of ur parents grasp--- and u grow up---- and there may be many things that cood effect ur life---- u may hit a tree(like drugs) and bounce in a different direction--- u may soar high and never hit a thing until u meet ur peak and u start goin down until u crash to the ground---(or ur parents may shoot u straight into the ground)
so if u want to change the outcome of ur flight--- then the sooner u change ur direction the better--and the more effective it will be
(READ THIS)
do u ever wish u cood stop at a certain moment in ur day--- and freeze frame in that certain moment-- and then say to urself--- this is not my life(if u dont understand now --- then someday u will)
CHAPTER-10
every time i see a romantic kiss on a movie or TV
i kick myself and ask why isnt that me
remember guys-- ignorance is bliss--- y arent u happy
i helped the world
but i forgot to help myself
Dont go away mad, just go away
To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse
Its Better To Lose A Lover Than Love A Loser
CHAPTER-11
Multi-Lyrical--
i strap myself into bed
with a bullet proof vest
and i shoot myself in the head
btw if u see my dad
tell him i slit his throat in this dream i had
Everything that keeps me together is falling apart,
Ive got this thing that I consider my only art
of fucking people over
The 3rd Planet is sure that they're being watched by an eye in the sky that cant be stopped
When you get to the promise land your gonna shake that eyes hand
EPILOGUE-
dashboard confessional once wrote in a song "just cuz youve drawn out these lines- are you protected you from trying times"
that means that--- in life we make rules and limits and boundaries and such basically to keep us safe from stuff that can mess up ur life(or part of ur life) but no matter how much u try to gaurd urslelf--- u will eventually git screwed over in one way or another--- and u will eventually prolly git screwed over by the one you trust the most (girlfriend- boyfriend- best friend- mom- dad- sister- brother- pastor- coach- idol)
im basically sayin that all these defenses that the insecure population puts up to protect itself really is pointless---- its like locking all the windows in ur house yet there is no door to close in the door way
basically tragedy will find its way into ur life one way or another--- theres no stoppin it
i want u to be who u r and say whut u feel
i want u to find urself and embrace whut u have found
i want u to live life to the fullest
and live every day like its ur last---cuz someday it will be
-Stalker-