The Fresh Prince Of Boys Ranch
Fresh Prince Of Boys Ranch
well this is a story all about how
i got put in the odd situation that im in now
id like to take a minute jus sit rite there
i gonna tell u a story about why my parents want me to go to the boys ranch
in West San Angelo im bein raised
ive currently lived here for 886 days
im liftin, maxin the mexicans call me a fool
my parents think i take steroids after school
they think i hang out with kids that are no good
they think im havin sex but of course i neva would
they think i do drugs and now they iz scared
they sed ur goin to counseling and then maybe the boys ranch
i was waiting for my turn to speak and when it was near
i could hear my heart beat and i was trembling in fear
so my grandmother grabs my arm, she cries as she says a prayer
well i guess this cant be too bad-maybe mertzon could use a good football player
screw this crap- i needa quit shaking
i guess i can kick it with brandon mangon
Mertzons a great place but i really dont wanna go there
but o well forget it, lifes not fair
so i punched holes in all my walls
closed down all the malls
smashed my sisters violin
and played solitaire again
alrite if u dint git whut i was sayin up there then let me repeat- this will take alot of explanation
sunday night my parents call me into the living room and tell me that they have been noticing ive been changin a lot
my grandparents jus visited and all they cood seem to talk about was how i used to be such a loving child and how im different now
my parents told me that me having friends have effected who i am (and of course it did) they sed they dont like my friends and they think i shouldnt have friends anymore
then they told me that they found a box of condoms in my room (which is total B.S.) and they think that me and Jennifer have sex often (which is also B.S.)
rumors spread around that i do drugs often (which is also B.S.) and some how my parents hurd it- also a rumor about me bein a drunk (which is also B.S.)
i mean dear god i dont even cuss
i hate this crap- i really hate church kids rite now- this is all their fault- in church we are taught many things to do and not do- if u do something ur not supposed to then these church kids will look down on u (condescending) well these church kids did something they arent supposed to - they spread a bunch of rumors- and i dont really care whut ppl think about me but when my parents git involved then i gotta do somethin
i used to be really involved with church but i eventually opened my eyes to how church kids treat other people and the hypocritical condescending cynical attitudes u find in church kids
i started noticing this whenever the church kids quit talkin to me which is fine if they dont wanna be my friend but i wood walk straight up to some of my close church friends and they wouldnt even aknowledge my existence- so i took a step back and took a good look at myself- i started sittin with people at lunch and i worked hard at makin friends- so i withdrew from my participation at church- i still go bcuz my parents make me but i dont have the same feelin or anything-(dont git me wrong i love god i love jesus but i hate his people)
this is all the church kids fault bcuz ever since i started leavin the church inner circle the stupid church kids spread rumors that i had sex, did drugs, and got drunk and it eventually gits to my dad becuz he is a minister at the church(hes incharge of the music) so my parents hate me now becuz i cant measure up to the rest of the kids in the family- one reason my parents dont like me is becaus im not fat like everyone else in the family- i used to be really fat but not anymore but i will get to that later-
and my brother is like the best guitar player in the world and hes a real good mechanic- my dad is proud of him becuz my dad is a musician and used to be a mechanic- my sister is the most church involved person u will ever meet- she will tell a door about jesus given an opprotunity- and my parents are so proud of her- my little brother is 10 years old and he is the smartest kid in u will ever meet-he can read faster than i can- and he knows everthing in the world- and my parents are so proud of him for that- then theres me- i supposedly hate god-do drugs-have sex and drink- sure im an ok football player but thats not really somethin my parents are proud of bcuz im not smart or talented or churchy- so im the odd ball-which doesnt help my situation
also when my dad sat me down and was talkin to me he asked me if i take steroids- i told him no but he doesnt beleive me - ya sure im gettin bigger and stronger but i go lift weights as much as anyone- i dont take steroids im better than that- i have good judgement i want to have a good life and i no too much to screw it up with that crap-
the next day my grandmother who is visiting from houston for my brothers graduation comes to sit down next to me- i git up from the table- she grabs my arm and starts to pull me back down(shes very strong for 72) i thought she was jokin around until i saw her face- she was crying- she told me "zac i no whut ur goin through- and i pray for u everyday"cries more"i wood like to say a prayer with u. will u let me do that" so she prays for me rite in the dining room and she is cryin bad- and my grandmother is a very small woman- she is the absolute nicest person on earth and she is the biggest christian ever- so she really doesnt like whut she hurd i did- and out of ever1 i no i dont want her to think lowly of me- i mean she has been a christian for prolly 65 years and she prays several times a day- shes been in the chior for more than 30 years- she goes to every bible study- she teaches 4th grade sunday skool- she reads her bible 24/7 her and god are like this(fingers twisted around eachother symbolizing tight) i no when i git up to the pearly gates im gonna stand there in front of god and then i will see my grandmother rite there she is goin to have the biggest house in heaven- jesus is gonna be her next door neighbor- are u gettin a picture of how this makes me feel(i feel like crap) i made my grandmother cry
FOR THE RECORD
i love jesus and i dont hate all church kids becuz some of them are very kind to me- ex. David Shreve- hes always been nice to me- he taught me everything i no about music and he burns me most of the stuff i listen to and post in this journal (thanx david)
i dont do drugs never have never will
i dont drink jus somethin im not into
ive have never had sex
alot of ppl at church say that i git in fights alot-they exxagerate alot ive been close to fights but i make sure they dont happen-so for the record
i wood also like to say that i have never been in a real fight- i wrestled with a few ppl but it was all fun and games-ppl think i git in a fite like every week jus to make myself seem kool and tuff- id like to say that isnt true- i git challenged to fights very often- im not sure y- jus like to say that i tell these ppl i dont wanna fite them and the fite neva happens-the closest thing to a fite was when i wrestled with Ernest and i kinda hurt him- but it was kool- the next day we were friends agin- there was no fighting- and there was no other circumstances that are even vaguely related to fighting since the 6th grade- so dont be hatin
i also dont think im so kool and all that- some ppl talk crap about me thinkin so highly of myself they jus dont no whut they r talkin about- i have less friends then ur average idiot- i also dont think im some grate amazing machine haus- i dint say that- otha ppl did
i wood like to include how much it pisses me off to find out that my best friend(my sister) is one of the largest contributers to the rumors that have been brought up against me- all along i was tellin my battle plan to the enemy- my sister really used me-she took everything i told her- then exaggerated it and scewed it then told it to every1 she noes and acted as if she was tellin them out of pure concern for me i hate this-- i am thinkin about this song by Dashboard Confessional rite now cuz it goes along with all this crap im sayin
they're burnin the roads they built to lead us to the light
they're blinding our hearts with theyre shining lies
they're closing our caskets cold and tight
but im dying to live (jus think about it)
I am not fond of Joel Perrite- i used to be in his inner circle and that was great- joel has this belief in close relation only with very strong christians(and im not talkin about jus dating- im talkin about friends) so joel has his close group of strong christians and i was in the club- i eventually did what the church kids call falling away- or getting off the path or whutever- so then joel completely forgets about me- Ex. one day i was in church with colton and brent (it was jus the 3 of us) and they were on each side of me (colton on the left brent on the right) so joel comes up to talk to us-- he talks to colton and asks him about life and talked to brent and went back and fourth between the two and he doesnt talk to me- he doesnt even look at me- doesnt try to shake my hand- doesnt even acknowledge my existence---
ya i no joel believes in a close group of strong christians only- but whut the hell ever happened to the bible story about the one lost sheep- and how the sheppard left the 99 sheep to go find the 1 lost sheep- JOEL dont u git it- i am the lost sheep- so y r u still with the 99 sheep- ya i no the whole thing about not pointin out the splinter in anothers eye when u have a log in ur own--- well ive been a victim of havin yall point out splinters in my eye that arent even there when u urself have a huge chunk of wood in ur own eye--- maybe thats y the church is blind they have too much wood in there eye i dont want any of yall to take this as the picture of the christian life- this is a christian community distracted by satans lies- honesty is the best policy- i honestly like many church ppl- im sure many churches git along well but things arent workin that way for me
AND O YA
i no alot of my church friends read this they jus dont leave a comment- i really dont care whut u think- also to my dad who likes to read this i say i dont care either- and im sure joel reads this too and i also dont care and of course my sister reads it too-and i used to care about whut she thought but not anymore
monday - i went bowling then me and jennifer and a few other ppl went swimming at david robinsons house- nuff sed
also for the record- me and jennifer never broke up- dont no y ppl keep sayin that
Love is Rare-Life is Strange/Nothing Last-People Change-i told that to my parents and they said that i shouldnt change
(side note)-the perfect love truely is rare- to be a lover u have to continually be as subtle as the very wise- as flexible as a child- as sensitive as an artist- the understanding of a philosopher- the acceptance of a saint- the tolerance of a scholar- and the fortitude of the certain
we come to love not by finding the perfect person-but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly- that makes so much more sense to me now
i no i shouldnt hate those guys
Throughout life people will make you mad,
disrespect you and treat you bad.
Let God deal with the things they do,
cause hate in your heart will consume you too
heres one for the starters of the rumor
they could use some humor-
hypocritical
o so cynical
always pretending
and condescending
The measure of honesty is not how well you hide your secrets, but rather how easily you let them go
When you cry...
I cry.
When you laugh...
I laugh.
When you jump out a window...
I laugh some more.
I'm not totally useless! I can be used as a bad example
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there
-Stalker-
well this is a story all about how
i got put in the odd situation that im in now
id like to take a minute jus sit rite there
i gonna tell u a story about why my parents want me to go to the boys ranch
in West San Angelo im bein raised
ive currently lived here for 886 days
im liftin, maxin the mexicans call me a fool
my parents think i take steroids after school
they think i hang out with kids that are no good
they think im havin sex but of course i neva would
they think i do drugs and now they iz scared
they sed ur goin to counseling and then maybe the boys ranch
i was waiting for my turn to speak and when it was near
i could hear my heart beat and i was trembling in fear
so my grandmother grabs my arm, she cries as she says a prayer
well i guess this cant be too bad-maybe mertzon could use a good football player
screw this crap- i needa quit shaking
i guess i can kick it with brandon mangon
Mertzons a great place but i really dont wanna go there
but o well forget it, lifes not fair
so i punched holes in all my walls
closed down all the malls
smashed my sisters violin
and played solitaire again
alrite if u dint git whut i was sayin up there then let me repeat- this will take alot of explanation
sunday night my parents call me into the living room and tell me that they have been noticing ive been changin a lot
my grandparents jus visited and all they cood seem to talk about was how i used to be such a loving child and how im different now
my parents told me that me having friends have effected who i am (and of course it did) they sed they dont like my friends and they think i shouldnt have friends anymore
then they told me that they found a box of condoms in my room (which is total B.S.) and they think that me and Jennifer have sex often (which is also B.S.)
rumors spread around that i do drugs often (which is also B.S.) and some how my parents hurd it- also a rumor about me bein a drunk (which is also B.S.)
i mean dear god i dont even cuss
i hate this crap- i really hate church kids rite now- this is all their fault- in church we are taught many things to do and not do- if u do something ur not supposed to then these church kids will look down on u (condescending) well these church kids did something they arent supposed to - they spread a bunch of rumors- and i dont really care whut ppl think about me but when my parents git involved then i gotta do somethin
i used to be really involved with church but i eventually opened my eyes to how church kids treat other people and the hypocritical condescending cynical attitudes u find in church kids
i started noticing this whenever the church kids quit talkin to me which is fine if they dont wanna be my friend but i wood walk straight up to some of my close church friends and they wouldnt even aknowledge my existence- so i took a step back and took a good look at myself- i started sittin with people at lunch and i worked hard at makin friends- so i withdrew from my participation at church- i still go bcuz my parents make me but i dont have the same feelin or anything-(dont git me wrong i love god i love jesus but i hate his people)
this is all the church kids fault bcuz ever since i started leavin the church inner circle the stupid church kids spread rumors that i had sex, did drugs, and got drunk and it eventually gits to my dad becuz he is a minister at the church(hes incharge of the music) so my parents hate me now becuz i cant measure up to the rest of the kids in the family- one reason my parents dont like me is becaus im not fat like everyone else in the family- i used to be really fat but not anymore but i will get to that later-
and my brother is like the best guitar player in the world and hes a real good mechanic- my dad is proud of him becuz my dad is a musician and used to be a mechanic- my sister is the most church involved person u will ever meet- she will tell a door about jesus given an opprotunity- and my parents are so proud of her- my little brother is 10 years old and he is the smartest kid in u will ever meet-he can read faster than i can- and he knows everthing in the world- and my parents are so proud of him for that- then theres me- i supposedly hate god-do drugs-have sex and drink- sure im an ok football player but thats not really somethin my parents are proud of bcuz im not smart or talented or churchy- so im the odd ball-which doesnt help my situation
also when my dad sat me down and was talkin to me he asked me if i take steroids- i told him no but he doesnt beleive me - ya sure im gettin bigger and stronger but i go lift weights as much as anyone- i dont take steroids im better than that- i have good judgement i want to have a good life and i no too much to screw it up with that crap-
the next day my grandmother who is visiting from houston for my brothers graduation comes to sit down next to me- i git up from the table- she grabs my arm and starts to pull me back down(shes very strong for 72) i thought she was jokin around until i saw her face- she was crying- she told me "zac i no whut ur goin through- and i pray for u everyday"cries more"i wood like to say a prayer with u. will u let me do that" so she prays for me rite in the dining room and she is cryin bad- and my grandmother is a very small woman- she is the absolute nicest person on earth and she is the biggest christian ever- so she really doesnt like whut she hurd i did- and out of ever1 i no i dont want her to think lowly of me- i mean she has been a christian for prolly 65 years and she prays several times a day- shes been in the chior for more than 30 years- she goes to every bible study- she teaches 4th grade sunday skool- she reads her bible 24/7 her and god are like this(fingers twisted around eachother symbolizing tight) i no when i git up to the pearly gates im gonna stand there in front of god and then i will see my grandmother rite there she is goin to have the biggest house in heaven- jesus is gonna be her next door neighbor- are u gettin a picture of how this makes me feel(i feel like crap) i made my grandmother cry
FOR THE RECORD
i love jesus and i dont hate all church kids becuz some of them are very kind to me- ex. David Shreve- hes always been nice to me- he taught me everything i no about music and he burns me most of the stuff i listen to and post in this journal (thanx david)
i dont do drugs never have never will
i dont drink jus somethin im not into
ive have never had sex
alot of ppl at church say that i git in fights alot-they exxagerate alot ive been close to fights but i make sure they dont happen-so for the record
i wood also like to say that i have never been in a real fight- i wrestled with a few ppl but it was all fun and games-ppl think i git in a fite like every week jus to make myself seem kool and tuff- id like to say that isnt true- i git challenged to fights very often- im not sure y- jus like to say that i tell these ppl i dont wanna fite them and the fite neva happens-the closest thing to a fite was when i wrestled with Ernest and i kinda hurt him- but it was kool- the next day we were friends agin- there was no fighting- and there was no other circumstances that are even vaguely related to fighting since the 6th grade- so dont be hatin
i also dont think im so kool and all that- some ppl talk crap about me thinkin so highly of myself they jus dont no whut they r talkin about- i have less friends then ur average idiot- i also dont think im some grate amazing machine haus- i dint say that- otha ppl did
i wood like to include how much it pisses me off to find out that my best friend(my sister) is one of the largest contributers to the rumors that have been brought up against me- all along i was tellin my battle plan to the enemy- my sister really used me-she took everything i told her- then exaggerated it and scewed it then told it to every1 she noes and acted as if she was tellin them out of pure concern for me i hate this-- i am thinkin about this song by Dashboard Confessional rite now cuz it goes along with all this crap im sayin
they're burnin the roads they built to lead us to the light
they're blinding our hearts with theyre shining lies
they're closing our caskets cold and tight
but im dying to live (jus think about it)
I am not fond of Joel Perrite- i used to be in his inner circle and that was great- joel has this belief in close relation only with very strong christians(and im not talkin about jus dating- im talkin about friends) so joel has his close group of strong christians and i was in the club- i eventually did what the church kids call falling away- or getting off the path or whutever- so then joel completely forgets about me- Ex. one day i was in church with colton and brent (it was jus the 3 of us) and they were on each side of me (colton on the left brent on the right) so joel comes up to talk to us-- he talks to colton and asks him about life and talked to brent and went back and fourth between the two and he doesnt talk to me- he doesnt even look at me- doesnt try to shake my hand- doesnt even acknowledge my existence---
ya i no joel believes in a close group of strong christians only- but whut the hell ever happened to the bible story about the one lost sheep- and how the sheppard left the 99 sheep to go find the 1 lost sheep- JOEL dont u git it- i am the lost sheep- so y r u still with the 99 sheep- ya i no the whole thing about not pointin out the splinter in anothers eye when u have a log in ur own--- well ive been a victim of havin yall point out splinters in my eye that arent even there when u urself have a huge chunk of wood in ur own eye--- maybe thats y the church is blind they have too much wood in there eye i dont want any of yall to take this as the picture of the christian life- this is a christian community distracted by satans lies- honesty is the best policy- i honestly like many church ppl- im sure many churches git along well but things arent workin that way for me
AND O YA
i no alot of my church friends read this they jus dont leave a comment- i really dont care whut u think- also to my dad who likes to read this i say i dont care either- and im sure joel reads this too and i also dont care and of course my sister reads it too-and i used to care about whut she thought but not anymore
monday - i went bowling then me and jennifer and a few other ppl went swimming at david robinsons house- nuff sed
also for the record- me and jennifer never broke up- dont no y ppl keep sayin that
Love is Rare-Life is Strange/Nothing Last-People Change-i told that to my parents and they said that i shouldnt change
(side note)-the perfect love truely is rare- to be a lover u have to continually be as subtle as the very wise- as flexible as a child- as sensitive as an artist- the understanding of a philosopher- the acceptance of a saint- the tolerance of a scholar- and the fortitude of the certain
we come to love not by finding the perfect person-but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly- that makes so much more sense to me now
i no i shouldnt hate those guys
Throughout life people will make you mad,
disrespect you and treat you bad.
Let God deal with the things they do,
cause hate in your heart will consume you too
heres one for the starters of the rumor
they could use some humor-
hypocritical
o so cynical
always pretending
and condescending
The measure of honesty is not how well you hide your secrets, but rather how easily you let them go
When you cry...
I cry.
When you laugh...
I laugh.
When you jump out a window...
I laugh some more.
I'm not totally useless! I can be used as a bad example
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there
-Stalker-