LEGION VS. SUPERNATURAL: AN ANALYSIS (WITH PICTURES!)

[stalker_celly]

Once upon a time, while innocently browsing youtube I came upon a magical trailer for a movie called Legion.

Click to view

Figure 1: The trailer in question

Now I know, this is a lot for your brain to handle! But I am going to break this down for you, because if I didn't know better I would swear that Kripke had written the script for this thing.

OPENING VOICEOVER: MY MAMA USED TO TELL ME THAT GOD HATES ME AND WANTS TO KILL ME. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?



OLD LADY: OH HAI JESS YOU ARE LOOKIN PRETTY PREGNANT TODAY.
JESS: OH YEAH, MY DEMON SPAWN BOYFRIEND KNOCKED ME UP AND IT MAGICALLY TRANSPORTED ME TO A FEATURE FILM.



LETS SEE, BLACK EYES? CHECK. DEATH THREATS? CHECK. MYSTERIOUSLY KILLED BY A SHOTGUN? CHECK.
YUP, JESS' MAGIC BABY WAS NOT THE ONLY THING TRANSPORTED FROM SPN VERSE. WHAT IS AN SPN MOVIE WITHOUT DEMONS.



OH HAI CAS, I SEE YOU SHOWED UP TOO.

ENTER THE HEROES:




DEAN DENNIS QUAID: *INSERT SNARKY REMARK HERE*

SO THEN WHO SHOWS UP? MICHAEL TO SAVE THEM FROM THE APOCALYPSE.



MICHAEL: OH RIGHT, ALSO YOUR MAGICAL HALF DEMON BABY IS GOING TO SAVE US FROM THE APOCALYPSE JESS. GOOD THING YOU GOT THAT GUEST ROLE, OR WE'D BE FUCKED.



MY CAPTIONING SKILLZ ARE AWESOME Y?

I'M SORRY.

ANYWAYS... THEN WE LEARN THAT DEAN DENNIS QUAID DOES NOT BELIEVE IN GOD. SURPRISEEE!





AND THEN THE ANGELS BATTLE!!


MAN I WISH CASTIEL WAS THIS BADASS.

ANYWAY SO LETS RECAP: JESS IS PREGNANT WITH A BABY WHO IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THE APOCALYPSE. MICHAEL COMES DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND ARGUES WITH A SMART ALECKY DUDE WHO CARRYS AROUND A SHOTGUN. THEY FIGHT OFF SOME DEMONS, THEN THEY FIGHT OFF SOME ANGELS. GOD IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

I THINK ERIC KRIPKE MIGHT NEED TO SUE.