Never forget a birthday
I talk to my sister-in-law (SIL) once a year around Christmas. I really really like her and she is someone that I know I would be friends with if we lived in the same city. She has three kids, lives near the beach, and is very cool--homebirth-y, homeschool-y, and healthy living-y. Without fail our annual phone conversations include her telling me that is she is getting a care package together for us. "What do you like from Trader Joe's?" she asks. "What are the boys interested in these days?" I play along and sometimes I even think this might be the year she sends the package. My husband and I wonder if she has boxes in some state of "packed up and ready to go" or if she hangs up the phone and forgets immediately. Before we had kids I always made excuses for her--"She's got three kids," I'd say. "She homeschools. She's busy!"
My husband and I drove out West to visit her when Mr. Almost Three was just a couple of months old. My SIL disappeared into the garage and came out with boxes and boxes of baby clothes for us to sort through. She pulled out bags and said things like, "I meant to take these to the resale shop, oh well." I was glad she didn't since as a result, we scored piles of Patagonia gear (the outlet is nearby) and a sweet old-school Kelty baby backpack. Next, she disappeared into the bedroom and re-emerged with boxes and boxes of pictures. We had fun comparing Mr. Almost Three to her kids when they were his age. At the bottom of the box was a stack of envelopes that were stamped and addressed. "Oh my god," she says, "Those are Christmas cards from two years ago. I never mailed them."
So you see, it isn't anything personal. Life just gets in the way for my SIL. I don't really hold it against her. She sincerely appreciates the box of homemade goodies my husband sends out each January. When we talk, she marvels at my ability to remember all of her kids' birthdays and thanks me for the cards and presents I send. She says, "I don't know how you do it."
I used to shrug off her compliments with, "Well I'm not nearly as busy as you are!" But you know what? These days I am pretty busy--I have two kids, a full-time job, and a budding side career.
Wanna know my secrets?
A calendar, a stockpile of cards, and always having stamps ensures that I will never miss a birthday. My mom makes a family calendar every year that I hang in my kitchen. Each month when I turn the page I make a mental note about upcoming birthdays. Then when I am in Target or some other store that sells birthday cards I load up. I like to have a minimum of ten birthday cards on hand at all times. (And blank cards. And thank you cards.) I always have stamps. I buy several sheets at a time in various denominations.
Whenever I see a good sale, or find something I really like, I load up. When Zany Brainy when out of business, I bought birthday and xmas gifts for all seven of my nieces and nephews months in advance. When a local mama started selling really cute tie-dyed capes, I bought five. When a friend started sewing matching burp cloths and onesies, I bought ten. Birthdays, baby showers, I'm ready.
Having the gift is half the battle. I also have an arsenal of recycled gift bags, tissue paper, ribbon, boxes, and wrapping paper in my closet. When I need to mail a package, I reuse a box that someone sent me or I make my own package out of a paper grocery bag. I find that it is much easier to go to the post office when everything is already packed up and ready to go.
I don't stop at birthdays and new babies, I like to be prepared for unexpected "emergencies." I have been known to hide wooden puzzles and other assorted goodies from TJ Maxx for cold and rainy days when Mr. Almost Three is in need of something new and exciting.
It is very hard to catch me unprepared, but occasions do come up when I bite the bullet and send cash. A dollar for every year, just like my grandfather used to do. I want to be the aunt that all the kids remember whether they see me on a regular basis or not.
At the very least I can count on my boys discovering my secret stash one day and having fond memories of Christmas in July.
My husband and I drove out West to visit her when Mr. Almost Three was just a couple of months old. My SIL disappeared into the garage and came out with boxes and boxes of baby clothes for us to sort through. She pulled out bags and said things like, "I meant to take these to the resale shop, oh well." I was glad she didn't since as a result, we scored piles of Patagonia gear (the outlet is nearby) and a sweet old-school Kelty baby backpack. Next, she disappeared into the bedroom and re-emerged with boxes and boxes of pictures. We had fun comparing Mr. Almost Three to her kids when they were his age. At the bottom of the box was a stack of envelopes that were stamped and addressed. "Oh my god," she says, "Those are Christmas cards from two years ago. I never mailed them."
So you see, it isn't anything personal. Life just gets in the way for my SIL. I don't really hold it against her. She sincerely appreciates the box of homemade goodies my husband sends out each January. When we talk, she marvels at my ability to remember all of her kids' birthdays and thanks me for the cards and presents I send. She says, "I don't know how you do it."
I used to shrug off her compliments with, "Well I'm not nearly as busy as you are!" But you know what? These days I am pretty busy--I have two kids, a full-time job, and a budding side career.
Wanna know my secrets?
A calendar, a stockpile of cards, and always having stamps ensures that I will never miss a birthday. My mom makes a family calendar every year that I hang in my kitchen. Each month when I turn the page I make a mental note about upcoming birthdays. Then when I am in Target or some other store that sells birthday cards I load up. I like to have a minimum of ten birthday cards on hand at all times. (And blank cards. And thank you cards.) I always have stamps. I buy several sheets at a time in various denominations.
Whenever I see a good sale, or find something I really like, I load up. When Zany Brainy when out of business, I bought birthday and xmas gifts for all seven of my nieces and nephews months in advance. When a local mama started selling really cute tie-dyed capes, I bought five. When a friend started sewing matching burp cloths and onesies, I bought ten. Birthdays, baby showers, I'm ready.
Having the gift is half the battle. I also have an arsenal of recycled gift bags, tissue paper, ribbon, boxes, and wrapping paper in my closet. When I need to mail a package, I reuse a box that someone sent me or I make my own package out of a paper grocery bag. I find that it is much easier to go to the post office when everything is already packed up and ready to go.
I don't stop at birthdays and new babies, I like to be prepared for unexpected "emergencies." I have been known to hide wooden puzzles and other assorted goodies from TJ Maxx for cold and rainy days when Mr. Almost Three is in need of something new and exciting.
It is very hard to catch me unprepared, but occasions do come up when I bite the bullet and send cash. A dollar for every year, just like my grandfather used to do. I want to be the aunt that all the kids remember whether they see me on a regular basis or not.
At the very least I can count on my boys discovering my secret stash one day and having fond memories of Christmas in July.