37
this is
a thing
misconceptions ;
kibum might be a little too hopeful. he has always known this, but still, he can't help it. he wants the world to himself, because there's nothing else he can have. that one night, he saw something, or someone, that he had never seen. this guy named lee jinki, presumably a senior, was laughing like he meant it, right in the middle of the hallway, clutching his stomach like it could've fallen out if he hadn't held it. kibum stared at him for a bit too long and thought why can't i do that? he doesn't even remember the last time he spilled a tear out of laughter and there was this guy, his outrageous laughter echoing in the walls and everything that surrounded him. lee jinki could not help himself. kibum realized he had never met someone like that.
one day he was sitting at the cafeteria and a bunch of seniors walked in. much to his delight, lee jinki was one of them. as per usual, the cafeteria was packed, so most of them split out to sit at different tables. kim jonghyun, a senior as well, said with his particularly loud and annoying voice, "there are three seats over there", and before he could stand up and leave, he and his friends sat down next to him.
"hey," jonghyun said, "who're you? i've never seen you around" kibum looked up from his book and graciously quirked up a brow. he wanted to say the wittiest line ever, and he wanted to make jonghyun feel like a fool for asking a question like that, so poorly and out of the blue, just the way kim jonghyun always was. he hadn't noticed, of course, that next to jonghyun were sitting both choi minho and lee jinki. he couldn't muster a word, to begin with, and then, jinki laughs, his laugh all musical and real, and says "it's kim kibum, right?"
and well. it begins right here.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, but it was jinki who nodded at him in the hallways, and it was jinki who appeared just in the right moment to pick up kibum's cascading books from the floor. it was jinki that knew his name. he saw him several times a week, and those times, the littlest times, when everyone would be rushing and pushing through the hall to make it to their next class, that kibum slowly yet steadily started making a special jinki corner in the back of his mind.
there was this party at the end of the year, when the streets were all covered by a thin layer of ice and the trees couldn't even move because of the snow clinging to them. kibum was invited by his friend woohyun, and he was also forced to go by his friend taemin. he wasn't fond of parties, but he thought this could be the one that changed his perspective. so he ended up saying yes, we'll go to your god damn party, taemin. now shut up.
the whole school was there. the house reeked of alcohol and all the sweet flavors he could remember. that was not a good match, alcohol and sweet flavors, that he knew for sure. he let taemin go to the bar to get them something to drink and regretted this immediately. taemin brought him a glass filled up to the brim of vodka with cranberry juice and he knew, he just knew that it was more vodka than juice, even though he couldn't taste it at all.
"just drink it. it's not like i peed on it or something." taemin said, and kibum had one more thing to worry about.
it was around two in the morning and kibum could barely make out the edges of things. everything was blurred out, he didn't know where the sofa ended and the small table began, and it was hard to walk around like that. so he sat on the stairs that led up to the second floor, which he later realized was a horrible mistake, because he got kicked more than he did in junior high. after a while the party calmed down, and people started walking slower, for some reason. the music was now painted on the walls, distancing itself from kibum as the night passed by.
"hey," he heard, and he looked up to see jinki, sitting down next to him. "your hair looks nice like that", jinki said, smiling at him with his big white teeth. the big white teeth, kibum could not resist those. they aren't perfect, nowhere near that, but he likes the way jinki's cheeks climb up to his eyes and make his face look rounder than it is, and he sort of looks like a toddler. that kind of smiles are the best in the morning, when you're late to class and people just don't move out of your way. they make your day seem less miserable than it is. kibum likes these smiles.
"yours looks nicer" kibum said without a doubt. jinki laughed hard, but not a mean laugh, just a shy, surprised and somewhat amused laugh. kibum liked it a lot, too. there are many things that kibum likes, but definitely jinki has made it to the top within weeks, climbing its way up in the list with silly faces and the bumping into locker doors every two days or so, the spilling juice on his white shirt and the bumping his knees on the cafeteria benches.
"why, thanks. are you feeling alright?" jinki asks him, and kibum should probably say no, i'm drunker than i thought, but he just nods, he nods with a silly smile hanging on his lips, because the alcohol makes him feel funnier around jinki, even though the boy has the same effect on him. "had any fun tonight?"
"tons," kibum admitted, smiling to himself, "this house is grand, by the way. whose house is it?" he liked houses like this, minus the bunch of people drinking and singing. he'd do some more proper decorating, and would definitely remove those things hanging from the walls, but the house itself was pretty cool. while in the middle of ranting in his head, jinki yawned, mouth wide open, right in front of him. jinki rests his head on his arms, folded over his knees, using them as a pillow. he looks up to see kibum's eyes and sleepily tells him it's minho's house.
it could've been his imagination, but suddenly the music turns softer, even mellow to his ears. the smell of strawberries and alcohol hits him hard, it comes from jinki's breath, and god, did he enjoy it. the closeness, the calm dim light, everything about the moment strangely turning so quiet and intimate. maybe it was just him, but it felt like this.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, but he can't stop the fall when he can no longer see the ground where he was standing. between classes, even though it's five minutes early, he heads to his classroom and stands outside the door just in case jinki walks by, and even though the older doesn't, kibum doesn't feel tired to try again after this class. those little things he does, the walking through halls that make his route a bit longer than usual just to casually say hi to him, without looking needy, of course; and the saving two or three seats on his table just in case jinki and his friends walk in and there's no place for them. those little things are making him feel ridiculous, but the sweet kind of ridiculous.
"you're driving me up the wall," taemin tells him one morning, milkshake sloshing on his hand, looking very unamused. it's not unusual for taemin to be like this, even though he's younger than kibum, but he doesn't mind at all. kibum just shrugs and hits taemin's forehead with his middle finger. "ow, what the fuck," taemin hisses, rubbing the increasingly red spot on his forehead. he takes a slurp of his banana milkshake and eyes kibum warily at the same time. it's kind of like their very own routine, when taemin bitches about something and then kibum bitches about something else even harder. it's a friendship based on bitching thing.
"i fail to see why," kibum says grumpily, munching on a cereal bar. he's been friends with taemin for around two or three years, and yet he still can't be completely honest with him right from the beginning of something. it takes him months, even, to confess the smallest thing to the younger. it's just not his thing.
"about that toddler-faced guy," the younger replies, rolling his eyes at him. kibum gags on his bar, and then proceeds to laugh a little. somehow, kibum loves this brat.
kibum has let time walk by, and hasn't made a real effort to step in front of it and do something effective. winter's getting colder as january approaches them and even the sun seems to feel chilly some days. kibum and taemin decide to attend to one of the final games of the school's team, just because they've never been to one and, according to their contacts, things are getting real. people yell and dance and cheer the team up with silly chants, and when the crowd finally calms down and the game starts, kibum sees him.
he sees him and his smile is brighter than the lamps surrounding the field, and his laugh can be heard from kibum's seat, and his hair looks lighter under the flashing lights. there's something about him now, kibum notices, that just shines differently than ever before, and even though he can imagine why, and he shouldn't like him more because of it, he does. jinki has his hand around some girl's waist, and she's laughing at something he said, leaning in into his oversized jacket, gripping tighter the fabric of it. the girl's face is as pale as snow is, and her eyes are round and big, and her lips are the prettiest, palest shade of pink kibum has ever seen, and he can see why jinki chose her.
it's not a big surprise to him, because well, jinki is probably the loveliest human being to ever exist, and people like kibum, who like to wait and hope, but not to act quick and fast, never get there in time.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, even though he shouldn't ever be.
a thing
misconceptions ;
kibum might be a little too hopeful. he has always known this, but still, he can't help it. he wants the world to himself, because there's nothing else he can have. that one night, he saw something, or someone, that he had never seen. this guy named lee jinki, presumably a senior, was laughing like he meant it, right in the middle of the hallway, clutching his stomach like it could've fallen out if he hadn't held it. kibum stared at him for a bit too long and thought why can't i do that? he doesn't even remember the last time he spilled a tear out of laughter and there was this guy, his outrageous laughter echoing in the walls and everything that surrounded him. lee jinki could not help himself. kibum realized he had never met someone like that.
one day he was sitting at the cafeteria and a bunch of seniors walked in. much to his delight, lee jinki was one of them. as per usual, the cafeteria was packed, so most of them split out to sit at different tables. kim jonghyun, a senior as well, said with his particularly loud and annoying voice, "there are three seats over there", and before he could stand up and leave, he and his friends sat down next to him.
"hey," jonghyun said, "who're you? i've never seen you around" kibum looked up from his book and graciously quirked up a brow. he wanted to say the wittiest line ever, and he wanted to make jonghyun feel like a fool for asking a question like that, so poorly and out of the blue, just the way kim jonghyun always was. he hadn't noticed, of course, that next to jonghyun were sitting both choi minho and lee jinki. he couldn't muster a word, to begin with, and then, jinki laughs, his laugh all musical and real, and says "it's kim kibum, right?"
and well. it begins right here.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, but it was jinki who nodded at him in the hallways, and it was jinki who appeared just in the right moment to pick up kibum's cascading books from the floor. it was jinki that knew his name. he saw him several times a week, and those times, the littlest times, when everyone would be rushing and pushing through the hall to make it to their next class, that kibum slowly yet steadily started making a special jinki corner in the back of his mind.
there was this party at the end of the year, when the streets were all covered by a thin layer of ice and the trees couldn't even move because of the snow clinging to them. kibum was invited by his friend woohyun, and he was also forced to go by his friend taemin. he wasn't fond of parties, but he thought this could be the one that changed his perspective. so he ended up saying yes, we'll go to your god damn party, taemin. now shut up.
the whole school was there. the house reeked of alcohol and all the sweet flavors he could remember. that was not a good match, alcohol and sweet flavors, that he knew for sure. he let taemin go to the bar to get them something to drink and regretted this immediately. taemin brought him a glass filled up to the brim of vodka with cranberry juice and he knew, he just knew that it was more vodka than juice, even though he couldn't taste it at all.
"just drink it. it's not like i peed on it or something." taemin said, and kibum had one more thing to worry about.
it was around two in the morning and kibum could barely make out the edges of things. everything was blurred out, he didn't know where the sofa ended and the small table began, and it was hard to walk around like that. so he sat on the stairs that led up to the second floor, which he later realized was a horrible mistake, because he got kicked more than he did in junior high. after a while the party calmed down, and people started walking slower, for some reason. the music was now painted on the walls, distancing itself from kibum as the night passed by.
"hey," he heard, and he looked up to see jinki, sitting down next to him. "your hair looks nice like that", jinki said, smiling at him with his big white teeth. the big white teeth, kibum could not resist those. they aren't perfect, nowhere near that, but he likes the way jinki's cheeks climb up to his eyes and make his face look rounder than it is, and he sort of looks like a toddler. that kind of smiles are the best in the morning, when you're late to class and people just don't move out of your way. they make your day seem less miserable than it is. kibum likes these smiles.
"yours looks nicer" kibum said without a doubt. jinki laughed hard, but not a mean laugh, just a shy, surprised and somewhat amused laugh. kibum liked it a lot, too. there are many things that kibum likes, but definitely jinki has made it to the top within weeks, climbing its way up in the list with silly faces and the bumping into locker doors every two days or so, the spilling juice on his white shirt and the bumping his knees on the cafeteria benches.
"why, thanks. are you feeling alright?" jinki asks him, and kibum should probably say no, i'm drunker than i thought, but he just nods, he nods with a silly smile hanging on his lips, because the alcohol makes him feel funnier around jinki, even though the boy has the same effect on him. "had any fun tonight?"
"tons," kibum admitted, smiling to himself, "this house is grand, by the way. whose house is it?" he liked houses like this, minus the bunch of people drinking and singing. he'd do some more proper decorating, and would definitely remove those things hanging from the walls, but the house itself was pretty cool. while in the middle of ranting in his head, jinki yawned, mouth wide open, right in front of him. jinki rests his head on his arms, folded over his knees, using them as a pillow. he looks up to see kibum's eyes and sleepily tells him it's minho's house.
it could've been his imagination, but suddenly the music turns softer, even mellow to his ears. the smell of strawberries and alcohol hits him hard, it comes from jinki's breath, and god, did he enjoy it. the closeness, the calm dim light, everything about the moment strangely turning so quiet and intimate. maybe it was just him, but it felt like this.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, but he can't stop the fall when he can no longer see the ground where he was standing. between classes, even though it's five minutes early, he heads to his classroom and stands outside the door just in case jinki walks by, and even though the older doesn't, kibum doesn't feel tired to try again after this class. those little things he does, the walking through halls that make his route a bit longer than usual just to casually say hi to him, without looking needy, of course; and the saving two or three seats on his table just in case jinki and his friends walk in and there's no place for them. those little things are making him feel ridiculous, but the sweet kind of ridiculous.
"you're driving me up the wall," taemin tells him one morning, milkshake sloshing on his hand, looking very unamused. it's not unusual for taemin to be like this, even though he's younger than kibum, but he doesn't mind at all. kibum just shrugs and hits taemin's forehead with his middle finger. "ow, what the fuck," taemin hisses, rubbing the increasingly red spot on his forehead. he takes a slurp of his banana milkshake and eyes kibum warily at the same time. it's kind of like their very own routine, when taemin bitches about something and then kibum bitches about something else even harder. it's a friendship based on bitching thing.
"i fail to see why," kibum says grumpily, munching on a cereal bar. he's been friends with taemin for around two or three years, and yet he still can't be completely honest with him right from the beginning of something. it takes him months, even, to confess the smallest thing to the younger. it's just not his thing.
"about that toddler-faced guy," the younger replies, rolling his eyes at him. kibum gags on his bar, and then proceeds to laugh a little. somehow, kibum loves this brat.
kibum has let time walk by, and hasn't made a real effort to step in front of it and do something effective. winter's getting colder as january approaches them and even the sun seems to feel chilly some days. kibum and taemin decide to attend to one of the final games of the school's team, just because they've never been to one and, according to their contacts, things are getting real. people yell and dance and cheer the team up with silly chants, and when the crowd finally calms down and the game starts, kibum sees him.
he sees him and his smile is brighter than the lamps surrounding the field, and his laugh can be heard from kibum's seat, and his hair looks lighter under the flashing lights. there's something about him now, kibum notices, that just shines differently than ever before, and even though he can imagine why, and he shouldn't like him more because of it, he does. jinki has his hand around some girl's waist, and she's laughing at something he said, leaning in into his oversized jacket, gripping tighter the fabric of it. the girl's face is as pale as snow is, and her eyes are round and big, and her lips are the prettiest, palest shade of pink kibum has ever seen, and he can see why jinki chose her.
it's not a big surprise to him, because well, jinki is probably the loveliest human being to ever exist, and people like kibum, who like to wait and hope, but not to act quick and fast, never get there in time.
kibum might be a little too hopeful, even though he shouldn't ever be.