Connecticut's for Fucking
Going to IHOP at midnight is an acceptable dinner.
Your neighbor, their best friend, and their mother in law all drive Jetta’s.
90 percent of the population between 16 and 19 own a car.
And 80 percent are SUV’s.
The “meadows” doesn’t mean a field-type place.
unless you live in Coventry
You don’t even hear of Coventry until you’ve lived in CT for a good twenty years plus.
You thought the only highways are 91 and 84.
Your high school rival football game is the event of the month.
You own a bikini and snowpants.
A trip to Cape Cod is “just another weekend.”
You actually think Hartford’s big.
UCONN basketball rules and nobody can tell you elsewise.
You know what weed is by the third grade.
*Scratch that, first.
You notice each incoming freshman class is getting shorter and shorter.
You, your best friend, or your mom has attended UCONN.
Your “backup” schools are central, UHA, URI, Northwest, and Eastern.
You wonder why everyone calls CT the “rich state.”
You cannot pronounce your C’s and T’s.
Therefore Connecticut id pronounced ki-nedda-cuh. (Ahem, it's pronounced Kuh-neddi-kuhht)
The word ghetto has at least 20 different meanings, not even near the real one.
Cow Tipping sounds like the greatest field trip ever.
You have the need to go on a “roadtrip” but just drive around your town for hours b/c you’re afraid of getting lost.
You promise the second you’re 18 it’s out of CT forever, but you end up going to UCONN and living here for the rest of your life.
Except for that year you decide to “try out” NYC 41. And get scared and come back. 42. Theatre isn’t just for those in black turtlenecks with coffee mugs.
You’ll “settle” for Starbucks.
There are about 30 variations of “Park” in the state (road, street, ave, etc.)
You own at least 10 hoodies.
And wear tanktops under them. (if anything at all).
You (or your girl) has had at least one miscarriage by the time you’re 17.
You use the term “mad ghetto.”
Half the kids at your school are mad ghetto.
Mad is no longer an emotion.
It’s called a grinder or sub.
“Bradley” is a place you look forward to going.
You’ve not only read every Harry Potter book to date, but even reread each numerous times.
As well as the movies.
You address your friends as “hoe” whether they’re male or female.
You park in an illegal spot just so you don’t have to walk.
You are wearing at least $200 worth of clothing at all times, whether it be an Abercrombie shirt and jeans, or baggy jeans, fubu tshirt, and Timbs.
The kids from the “ghetto” wear $80 jeans, $ 30, shirts, Timbs, and seem to have a sweat headband to match every outfit. (Unless you go into the north end of New Haven and/or Waterbury. Shits scary, man)
You have the need to match ALL the time, even when you’re going to bed.
Knowing gay or lesbian people is a commonplace.
*Water bottles are to be filled with vodka. Everyday.
You see a Hartford cop walking down the street with a beer in his hand on St. Patricks day.
And you then feel the need to yell “Do I smell bacon” at him.
Before stealing his beer.
You start conversations with random people on the street on a regular basis.
And half those people pretend you’re not even there.
You are scared to ride the bus alone unless you live in Hartford.
You own a cell phone and have at least one “accessory” for it.
GO GIANTS AND PATRIOTS!
You’ve seen hockey, basketball, figure skating, and a boat show all at the civic center.
**Canadians are the silliest invention ever.
*No, I don't do this
**ILU <3
Your neighbor, their best friend, and their mother in law all drive Jetta’s.
90 percent of the population between 16 and 19 own a car.
And 80 percent are SUV’s.
The “meadows” doesn’t mean a field-type place.
unless you live in Coventry
You don’t even hear of Coventry until you’ve lived in CT for a good twenty years plus.
You thought the only highways are 91 and 84.
Your high school rival football game is the event of the month.
You own a bikini and snowpants.
A trip to Cape Cod is “just another weekend.”
You actually think Hartford’s big.
UCONN basketball rules and nobody can tell you elsewise.
You know what weed is by the third grade.
*Scratch that, first.
You notice each incoming freshman class is getting shorter and shorter.
You, your best friend, or your mom has attended UCONN.
Your “backup” schools are central, UHA, URI, Northwest, and Eastern.
You wonder why everyone calls CT the “rich state.”
You cannot pronounce your C’s and T’s.
Therefore Connecticut id pronounced ki-nedda-cuh. (Ahem, it's pronounced Kuh-neddi-kuhht)
The word ghetto has at least 20 different meanings, not even near the real one.
Cow Tipping sounds like the greatest field trip ever.
You have the need to go on a “roadtrip” but just drive around your town for hours b/c you’re afraid of getting lost.
You promise the second you’re 18 it’s out of CT forever, but you end up going to UCONN and living here for the rest of your life.
Except for that year you decide to “try out” NYC 41. And get scared and come back. 42. Theatre isn’t just for those in black turtlenecks with coffee mugs.
You’ll “settle” for Starbucks.
There are about 30 variations of “Park” in the state (road, street, ave, etc.)
You own at least 10 hoodies.
And wear tanktops under them. (if anything at all).
You (or your girl) has had at least one miscarriage by the time you’re 17.
You use the term “mad ghetto.”
Half the kids at your school are mad ghetto.
Mad is no longer an emotion.
It’s called a grinder or sub.
“Bradley” is a place you look forward to going.
You’ve not only read every Harry Potter book to date, but even reread each numerous times.
As well as the movies.
You address your friends as “hoe” whether they’re male or female.
You park in an illegal spot just so you don’t have to walk.
You are wearing at least $200 worth of clothing at all times, whether it be an Abercrombie shirt and jeans, or baggy jeans, fubu tshirt, and Timbs.
The kids from the “ghetto” wear $80 jeans, $ 30, shirts, Timbs, and seem to have a sweat headband to match every outfit. (Unless you go into the north end of New Haven and/or Waterbury. Shits scary, man)
You have the need to match ALL the time, even when you’re going to bed.
Knowing gay or lesbian people is a commonplace.
*Water bottles are to be filled with vodka. Everyday.
You see a Hartford cop walking down the street with a beer in his hand on St. Patricks day.
And you then feel the need to yell “Do I smell bacon” at him.
Before stealing his beer.
You start conversations with random people on the street on a regular basis.
And half those people pretend you’re not even there.
You are scared to ride the bus alone unless you live in Hartford.
You own a cell phone and have at least one “accessory” for it.
GO GIANTS AND PATRIOTS!
You’ve seen hockey, basketball, figure skating, and a boat show all at the civic center.
**Canadians are the silliest invention ever.
*No, I don't do this
**ILU <3
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