from sunny_d_reunion
I was on the plane when the memory of that terrible day, after the terrible weeks, came rushing back. It had all been a blur until now. Now that I was finally on my way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a pretty rough couple of weeks so I was out blowing off some steam fighting some vamps in a dark alley. Not nearly enough cemetaries in this city. Gotta find the vamps out roaming the streets. But that night, I found 'em alright. And if you'd seen me that night.. or any other in the past couple of weeks.. you'd think I had a personal grudge against the specific vamp I was fighting. Nah, just pissed at the whole lot of the undead. It's not like I never lost anyone before, damn I seemed to lose everyone, but this was different somehow.
I'd been helping Angel with the whole "helping the helpless" gig for a long time. I couldn't believe I was able to stay in one place for so long. Guess I really was growing up. But anyway, we'd worked with this other guy, Bender. He was pretty okay with the research and the fighting. Even knew a bit about magic. And can I say.. he wasn't too bad looking either? Not that we were ever..
But anyway, there was a big fight. Didn't seem any different from any other that we'd been in. The same old demons and slaughter and whatever. But something happened. Bender was killed. Right there in front of us. I think it's all my fault, but I know Angel is blaming himself. He's doing the whole "locked in a room, don't disturb me I'm pissed" thing.
So it's been tough. I mean, I've dealt with loss and stuff before, but somehow this was different. We'd worked together for so long.. He was actually a friend. So I was going to town on every single undead ass I could find to pummel. Reckless? Yeah, probably. But I didn't care. I'd been keeping myself busy.. trying to save everyone even though I know I can't. Just had to stay busy.
But I was worn out, ragged. I dragged myself back into the office after only being gone about two hours. Usually I was out most of the night if there wasn't a case to work on. But as soon as I walked in, I knew there was a case. Angel was on the phone. He hung up and looked at me. That was not a good look for him to be wearing.
"What is it?"
"It's Willow," he said gravely.
Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time. I hadn't seen much of the old Scooby Gang since we left Sunnydale. But Angel filled me in on what Giles had told him. Willow was in trouble. She was a friend.. or at least an ally. I had to go. But Angel had to stay here.
"You're not going without me," he said as he watched me pack a bag.
"Yes I am. I know you feel guilty for Bender's death, but you know what? So do I. But we can't save everyone. But we can save more people if you stay here. Let me and the old gang help Willow, while you help people here. This is where you can do the most good."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He wasn't happy, but he stayed behind. And now I feel that maybe he should have come along. Maybe this thing was bigger than I think. So now I'm stuck on a plane from Chicago to Sunnydale, and all I can think about is the fact that I probably did exactly the wrong thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a pretty rough couple of weeks so I was out blowing off some steam fighting some vamps in a dark alley. Not nearly enough cemetaries in this city. Gotta find the vamps out roaming the streets. But that night, I found 'em alright. And if you'd seen me that night.. or any other in the past couple of weeks.. you'd think I had a personal grudge against the specific vamp I was fighting. Nah, just pissed at the whole lot of the undead. It's not like I never lost anyone before, damn I seemed to lose everyone, but this was different somehow.
I'd been helping Angel with the whole "helping the helpless" gig for a long time. I couldn't believe I was able to stay in one place for so long. Guess I really was growing up. But anyway, we'd worked with this other guy, Bender. He was pretty okay with the research and the fighting. Even knew a bit about magic. And can I say.. he wasn't too bad looking either? Not that we were ever..
But anyway, there was a big fight. Didn't seem any different from any other that we'd been in. The same old demons and slaughter and whatever. But something happened. Bender was killed. Right there in front of us. I think it's all my fault, but I know Angel is blaming himself. He's doing the whole "locked in a room, don't disturb me I'm pissed" thing.
So it's been tough. I mean, I've dealt with loss and stuff before, but somehow this was different. We'd worked together for so long.. He was actually a friend. So I was going to town on every single undead ass I could find to pummel. Reckless? Yeah, probably. But I didn't care. I'd been keeping myself busy.. trying to save everyone even though I know I can't. Just had to stay busy.
But I was worn out, ragged. I dragged myself back into the office after only being gone about two hours. Usually I was out most of the night if there wasn't a case to work on. But as soon as I walked in, I knew there was a case. Angel was on the phone. He hung up and looked at me. That was not a good look for him to be wearing.
"What is it?"
"It's Willow," he said gravely.
Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time. I hadn't seen much of the old Scooby Gang since we left Sunnydale. But Angel filled me in on what Giles had told him. Willow was in trouble. She was a friend.. or at least an ally. I had to go. But Angel had to stay here.
"You're not going without me," he said as he watched me pack a bag.
"Yes I am. I know you feel guilty for Bender's death, but you know what? So do I. But we can't save everyone. But we can save more people if you stay here. Let me and the old gang help Willow, while you help people here. This is where you can do the most good."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He wasn't happy, but he stayed behind. And now I feel that maybe he should have come along. Maybe this thing was bigger than I think. So now I'm stuck on a plane from Chicago to Sunnydale, and all I can think about is the fact that I probably did exactly the wrong thing.