(no subject)
ive been readin some ppls lj entries and yeah it got me thinkin....i have lost touch with many ppl over the yr, stayed in touch with some, and became close to many new ppl throughout the yr....now its summer and its nuts..not rly in the best way either
it is such a dramatic change from last yr at this time..
-like losing touch with some of my friends
-not havin the same routine as last summer
-tryin to figure out everything
-having my girlfriend move to florida
-meeting new ppl
-all of the new pressures i face
-wat to do about relationships
-tryin to become more in touch w/ my faith
-in some ways trying to keept everything the same
^^but in many ways keeping everything the same is impossible...and a good pt of me doesnt want EVERYTHING exactly the same..maybe if some things were different or NEVER happened id want it that way..i dono...
i know im selfish in many ways i also feel guilty for many things as well...but im not sure exactly what or if i should feel this way
right now i just wish everything could get fixed and work out..but that won't happen for a looong time..if ever..i just have to hope and pray that one day things will
im sorry to the ppl who i have hurt and what not..maybe i have to some and dont even know it..im sorry for being insecure many times and acting so incredibly bipolar and questioning everything...
yeah im just rambling about everything now
but this whole thing im worried about is just pt of life that in some ways it is a good thing to go through...we will all become stronger in some ways and appreciate things more
though i dont know if i do wen it comes down to it..gah!!
i dont even know what my emotions r right now i just have many emotions right now..im happy, pissed, grief stricken <--sounds smart i know, contemplative, scared, worried, faithful, faithless, apologetic, pessimistic, optomistic, enraged..yeah all those in one
sry ray i kinda copied ya on that pt^^
but thats about it...i didnt rly get ne pt across in this entry that i wanted to..i just dont even know how to begin writing my thoughts down..if thet become clearer at some pt ill let ya know =)
latr
it is such a dramatic change from last yr at this time..
-like losing touch with some of my friends
-not havin the same routine as last summer
-tryin to figure out everything
-having my girlfriend move to florida
-meeting new ppl
-all of the new pressures i face
-wat to do about relationships
-tryin to become more in touch w/ my faith
-in some ways trying to keept everything the same
^^but in many ways keeping everything the same is impossible...and a good pt of me doesnt want EVERYTHING exactly the same..maybe if some things were different or NEVER happened id want it that way..i dono...
i know im selfish in many ways i also feel guilty for many things as well...but im not sure exactly what or if i should feel this way
right now i just wish everything could get fixed and work out..but that won't happen for a looong time..if ever..i just have to hope and pray that one day things will
im sorry to the ppl who i have hurt and what not..maybe i have to some and dont even know it..im sorry for being insecure many times and acting so incredibly bipolar and questioning everything...
yeah im just rambling about everything now
but this whole thing im worried about is just pt of life that in some ways it is a good thing to go through...we will all become stronger in some ways and appreciate things more
though i dont know if i do wen it comes down to it..gah!!
i dont even know what my emotions r right now i just have many emotions right now..im happy, pissed, grief stricken <--sounds smart i know, contemplative, scared, worried, faithful, faithless, apologetic, pessimistic, optomistic, enraged..yeah all those in one
sry ray i kinda copied ya on that pt^^
but thats about it...i didnt rly get ne pt across in this entry that i wanted to..i just dont even know how to begin writing my thoughts down..if thet become clearer at some pt ill let ya know =)
latr