winter and reality, setting in
So, finally, Nepal feels like the dream and America feels like the reality again. It took a while. I remember those first days, going back to work, feeling as if the very scent and air of Nepal was still draped around me like a cloak. It's worn off now. I work a lot. And when I don't work, I sleep. The first month of work, I absolutely HATED it. I hated my co-workers, who talk about NOTHING but marriages, babies, and buying houses and things for their houses. I hated our management, who have turned into police-type figures trying to keep us from sitting or checking our email or watching tv in between running our asses off. And I hated our patients, whiny self-absorbed unappreciative dirty people who have to be cajoled and pleaded with just to make them bathe, walk, and take their medicine.
Now it's getting better. The more it feels like I live there, the more I just accept all of these things as commonplace. What gets me through the day is coffee, Izzy soft drinks, and more coffee. I look forward to report, driving an hour to get home, and trying to sleep. I say trying to sleep because even when I'm totally exhausted, I can't fall asleep. (Which is why I'm writing this entry at 1:14am.) Even with taking a xanax, minimum 1-2 hours to sleep. Worse on a lot of nights. After the first hour of lying in the dark, I turn on Nepali radio. I listen to talk radio from Kathmandu where people call in and chat about the weather and what they're doing. Hours go by and sometimes the program turns into Newari language, which I know none of, or really irritating high-pitched Nepali music from maybe the 40s or 50s. If I get annoyed enough, I turn it off and try lying in silence again.
If Nepali radio doesn't work, I try reading. I read a lot of peace corps blogs, learn a lot about what it's like to be a volunteer in African countries like Benin or Burkina Faso. The food there sounds really terrible and the heat sounds even worse. Nepal has its own drawbacks but it doesn't sound as hot or dusty (or bug-filled) as Africa does.
I've been cooking more lately, mostly making a lot of pasta without recipes, just throwing in this or that. I've had some success here. Today I went out for a great dinner with my favorite (and only) older cousin Wendy, and her 5 year old daughter. Always good times, and it's been a while since I frequented Mongolian BBQ and Crazy Wisdom. Lexi says the darndest things, and I just have a great time whenever I hang out with Wendy. I sprinkled fairy dust on Lexi's nose and got some on myself. We were very sparkly.
I'd like to say I've been doing more, like studying Nepali, playing piano, working on karate. But it's just taken so much out of me to adjust coming back to the states, like it always does. I keep up on my Nepali by talking with my new best buddy Shera, online or on the phone. I've missed a lot of karate because of my work schedule, hopefully my attendance will drastically improve after christmas. I had a great workout last night and just felt really good about it, and hate that I've missed so much class.
I enjoyed christmas shopping for everyone, too, and my little tree and stockings and lights down at the cottage. After Christmas, we're in for a long and dreary winter, I'm afraid. I'm already tired of no sun, freezing wind, grey skies. I do, however, love snowfall, and I love sliding around on ice. If I get to my car and there's an ice puddle next to it, I have to pause and take a moment to slide all over it. I like to go out on the lake when it's frozen, too, because it's so beautiful and drastically different than it was in the summer.
Well I guess I will go back to my regularly scheduled bout of insomnia again. I have one more day off tomorrow, of three days off, and it feels like I'm having a little mini vacation. Three whole days without work, wow!