remember what matters, forget the rest
It's been awhile since my last real update. School work takes over sometimes I guess. I don't think I've been home in well over a month, though it's about time I finally started taking in the Wake-atmosphere, hmm? Thirteen or so days until Thanksgiving break, though I'm heading home the weekend before to work Twilight-New Moon weekend at the Palladium. I need the money anyway, working 4 hours a week at the intramural office just isn't very satisfying, especially because paychecks come monthly and I won't be getting my check for October until I get my check for November.
School itself is going pretty well. Grades aren't looking too bad, with 3 B's and 2 A's. The Old Gold & Black was a complete bust: I was asked to write another concert review a week or two ago, but I let it slide. I don't really see the point in trying with people who seem so adomently set in looking over everyone else. And maybe it's just a people thing or a senior thing, but it's a thing I don't have to put up with, plain and simple. Instead I've turned my focus to the Organization for Latin American Students. They do some cool community service stuff, and there might even be a sorority for Hispanic students next semester, so we'll just have to see how that goes. My roommate might transfer to Navy next year, so it'd be cool if I could just join a sorority and avoid having a room to myself and/or a new roommate.
I'm trying to decide on the all the ways I can evaluate my life thus far. It doesn't really seem like anyone is doing very well, I guess. I can't say I've been doing horribly. I'm really not, actually. I can't say that I'm unhappy, because I'm not. I've come to find that I'm rarely ever that unhappy about anything. I can be unhappy occassionally, but I haven't been really unhappy in a very long time. I don't know what changed. I'd like to think that everyone gets to a point where they're just satisfied with their lives and where they're going with it, but I don't think that's true. And even though I'm relatively happy, I don't have the faintest clue where I'm going with my life. I know myself no better than I thought I did, but maybe what sets me apart from other people is that I'm confident that I'm going to figure that out. I don't think I'm a very complex person. I love my family. I enjoy laughing and smiling. I like it when people make an attempt to get to know me, and I enjoy talking to people who don't make me feel small. Hypocrits irritate me, but I'll be the first to admit that I can sometimes be the worst kind.
I think it's funny that the learning I've begun to do about myself hasn't been so much from school, but from the people outside of it. Daniel and I are done for a while, maybe for a good, and I'm not all that upset about it anymore. He's got some shit to figure out and so do I. I need to figure out what it is that makes me content, because even though I'm not unhappy or depressed or anything like that, everyone needs to have that something in there life that they can turn to and just be satisfied with the idea of both doing it and accomplishing it. Being at Wake should help me find that, but having a boyfriend most certainly isn't going to define my happiness. I've spent far too much time hoping that I'd find and make friends that would make me happy, but that's silly. No one should depend on anyone else to make them happy-- it's all a matter of how happy you can make yourself.
Being single isn't all that rough. I actually enjoy it, and I don't see why I spent all that time bitching about it before. Loneliness comes around, yes, but fact of the matter is, there are ways to avoid it. There are people, maybe far and few, to make that feeling go away. I've been going to parties, dancing, with my roommate and some other people we've gotten to know. I'm not as close to them as my roommate is, but it's nice to have people around. On Halloween, I dressed up as Riley Skinner, the Wake Forest quarterback and ran through the rain from my dorm and back from a frat party. I'm not sure which part I enjoy more-- dancing in the rain, or running in the rain, or dancing inside, surronded by people. I wish I could go to another party this weekend, but my roommates gone and I think it'd be awkward if I went without her. Oh well, I'll figure out something.
Anyway, so I've accumulated a list of things I've learned at college:
1) Be selfish. Put yourself first. Love your friends, love your family, but never refrain from doing what makes you happy. Go with your heart, and do what you must. You come first, always. Always. And frighteningly enough, that's the way I think it should be.
2) Cars don't always stop at pedestrian walk-ways. You have been forewarned.
3) Don't drink out of the awkward coolers at frat parties, because oftentimes no one really knows what drinks have been mixed in, and bodily fluids, in one way or another, are probably one of the ingredients.
4) Do not, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, go to downtown Greensboro on a Friday night. BIG, uh-oh.
5) Crazy is the new croc. Everyone's wearing it and it's one fad that you're probably going to want to avoid.
6) Blamming anyone else for your problems gets you absolutely nowhere. When it comes down to it, everything traces back to you. Remember that before you start pointing the finger.
7) Procrastination is a given. However, starting a paper 6 hours before it's due will result in a deduction of both weight and 5 years from your life... Just saying. Try to avoid doing so twice in one week. Trust me, it sucks.
8) When the school cafeteria is called "The Pit" there's usually a reason for it.
9) Don't bother with people who won't bother with you. There's no point in wasting your time.
10) Hold tight to the things that make you truly happy, and don't let go or push them away. You'll regret it.
11) However, in referrence to #9, everyone needs somebody. Don't expect everyone to come running to you, because life just doesn't work that way. Sorry.
12) The best feeling in the world is to succeed at something that not even you thought you could do.
13) Let things happen, take things as they come. No need to anticipate the next step. Live your life, because this moment will never repeat itself.
14) You don't need to be strong-- but it can be rather useful.
15) Some people could use the freshman 15... Just saying.
School itself is going pretty well. Grades aren't looking too bad, with 3 B's and 2 A's. The Old Gold & Black was a complete bust: I was asked to write another concert review a week or two ago, but I let it slide. I don't really see the point in trying with people who seem so adomently set in looking over everyone else. And maybe it's just a people thing or a senior thing, but it's a thing I don't have to put up with, plain and simple. Instead I've turned my focus to the Organization for Latin American Students. They do some cool community service stuff, and there might even be a sorority for Hispanic students next semester, so we'll just have to see how that goes. My roommate might transfer to Navy next year, so it'd be cool if I could just join a sorority and avoid having a room to myself and/or a new roommate.
I'm trying to decide on the all the ways I can evaluate my life thus far. It doesn't really seem like anyone is doing very well, I guess. I can't say I've been doing horribly. I'm really not, actually. I can't say that I'm unhappy, because I'm not. I've come to find that I'm rarely ever that unhappy about anything. I can be unhappy occassionally, but I haven't been really unhappy in a very long time. I don't know what changed. I'd like to think that everyone gets to a point where they're just satisfied with their lives and where they're going with it, but I don't think that's true. And even though I'm relatively happy, I don't have the faintest clue where I'm going with my life. I know myself no better than I thought I did, but maybe what sets me apart from other people is that I'm confident that I'm going to figure that out. I don't think I'm a very complex person. I love my family. I enjoy laughing and smiling. I like it when people make an attempt to get to know me, and I enjoy talking to people who don't make me feel small. Hypocrits irritate me, but I'll be the first to admit that I can sometimes be the worst kind.
I think it's funny that the learning I've begun to do about myself hasn't been so much from school, but from the people outside of it. Daniel and I are done for a while, maybe for a good, and I'm not all that upset about it anymore. He's got some shit to figure out and so do I. I need to figure out what it is that makes me content, because even though I'm not unhappy or depressed or anything like that, everyone needs to have that something in there life that they can turn to and just be satisfied with the idea of both doing it and accomplishing it. Being at Wake should help me find that, but having a boyfriend most certainly isn't going to define my happiness. I've spent far too much time hoping that I'd find and make friends that would make me happy, but that's silly. No one should depend on anyone else to make them happy-- it's all a matter of how happy you can make yourself.
Being single isn't all that rough. I actually enjoy it, and I don't see why I spent all that time bitching about it before. Loneliness comes around, yes, but fact of the matter is, there are ways to avoid it. There are people, maybe far and few, to make that feeling go away. I've been going to parties, dancing, with my roommate and some other people we've gotten to know. I'm not as close to them as my roommate is, but it's nice to have people around. On Halloween, I dressed up as Riley Skinner, the Wake Forest quarterback and ran through the rain from my dorm and back from a frat party. I'm not sure which part I enjoy more-- dancing in the rain, or running in the rain, or dancing inside, surronded by people. I wish I could go to another party this weekend, but my roommates gone and I think it'd be awkward if I went without her. Oh well, I'll figure out something.
Anyway, so I've accumulated a list of things I've learned at college:
1) Be selfish. Put yourself first. Love your friends, love your family, but never refrain from doing what makes you happy. Go with your heart, and do what you must. You come first, always. Always. And frighteningly enough, that's the way I think it should be.
2) Cars don't always stop at pedestrian walk-ways. You have been forewarned.
3) Don't drink out of the awkward coolers at frat parties, because oftentimes no one really knows what drinks have been mixed in, and bodily fluids, in one way or another, are probably one of the ingredients.
4) Do not, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, go to downtown Greensboro on a Friday night. BIG, uh-oh.
5) Crazy is the new croc. Everyone's wearing it and it's one fad that you're probably going to want to avoid.
6) Blamming anyone else for your problems gets you absolutely nowhere. When it comes down to it, everything traces back to you. Remember that before you start pointing the finger.
7) Procrastination is a given. However, starting a paper 6 hours before it's due will result in a deduction of both weight and 5 years from your life... Just saying. Try to avoid doing so twice in one week. Trust me, it sucks.
8) When the school cafeteria is called "The Pit" there's usually a reason for it.
9) Don't bother with people who won't bother with you. There's no point in wasting your time.
10) Hold tight to the things that make you truly happy, and don't let go or push them away. You'll regret it.
11) However, in referrence to #9, everyone needs somebody. Don't expect everyone to come running to you, because life just doesn't work that way. Sorry.
12) The best feeling in the world is to succeed at something that not even you thought you could do.
13) Let things happen, take things as they come. No need to anticipate the next step. Live your life, because this moment will never repeat itself.
14) You don't need to be strong-- but it can be rather useful.
15) Some people could use the freshman 15... Just saying.