grief
There has been an overwhelming amount of sadness in my life lately. Things beyond my control, things that have nothing to do with me, things that I do (unintentionally) to myself. Sadness does not feel like a strong enough word to describe the depths of intense aching that exists in me.
I was rocked by the death of Robin Williams. Though I didn't know him personally, he was like that favorite uncle that everyone has and everyone loves. It sounds like he tried, for many years, to combat addiction, depression and substance abuse. It absolutely breaks my already shattered heart to know that he was fighting, and fighting so incredibly hard, for so long, only to succumb to his demons. He was actively trying to get better. It's so tragic.
There is a lot going on in my life that is making me feel like I desperately need to be surrounded by love, positivity, support, acceptance, guidance, clarity. I think I've been in a vortex of negativity (my own and others') for so long that it feels like I have to scale Everest before being light and airy me again.
But I know that I will keep trying. And I know that I've got people who love all of me, and support me, even if they aren't with me. And that's all I can ask for, for now.