Just some rants.....
alright...well this could be coming from all the meds that I'm on...I'm pretty sick right now if some of you don't know. But I was just thinking to myself and got myself a bit worked up about something that I needed to vent about. If she reads it...then she'll know that I'm hurting..I still love her....but I'm hurting.
It PISSES me off that she left. It PISSES me off that I feel like she wants to be with those people more than the people that would do ANYTHING for her back home. She had so many things going for her and although its nice to have a little change in your life you need to be smart about it. How is she going to stay on her feet. I'm worried. I'm hurt. Eventhough the calls were few and far between I knew where she was. I knew that I could go see her if I absolutely had to. Now that's gone. It's very hard to get in touch with her and once I do it's a shot in the dark if her phone will work or not. She left me. Not two days earlier we were making plans on going off together. Sticking together for the long run. Being "friends forever". Who knows what will happen now. I love the friends I have around me that are left. I love the new friends that I'm making. It's just the hurt is setting in very deeply . Maybe it's how and why she went away that's confusing me. I see where she's coming from and I don't blame her completely. I just wish she would have given it some more time until she went. Spent some more time with the people that love her back home. 2-3 days is harldly enough time to let someone that you've been friends...sisters with forever know that you're up and moving away...not knowing when you'll see them again. Am I being too hard? I love her and I wish her the best. I just hurt...I can't say it enough. I miss her dearly. That's all I have.......
-Tracy-
It PISSES me off that she left. It PISSES me off that I feel like she wants to be with those people more than the people that would do ANYTHING for her back home. She had so many things going for her and although its nice to have a little change in your life you need to be smart about it. How is she going to stay on her feet. I'm worried. I'm hurt. Eventhough the calls were few and far between I knew where she was. I knew that I could go see her if I absolutely had to. Now that's gone. It's very hard to get in touch with her and once I do it's a shot in the dark if her phone will work or not. She left me. Not two days earlier we were making plans on going off together. Sticking together for the long run. Being "friends forever". Who knows what will happen now. I love the friends I have around me that are left. I love the new friends that I'm making. It's just the hurt is setting in very deeply . Maybe it's how and why she went away that's confusing me. I see where she's coming from and I don't blame her completely. I just wish she would have given it some more time until she went. Spent some more time with the people that love her back home. 2-3 days is harldly enough time to let someone that you've been friends...sisters with forever know that you're up and moving away...not knowing when you'll see them again. Am I being too hard? I love her and I wish her the best. I just hurt...I can't say it enough. I miss her dearly. That's all I have.......
-Tracy-