stages of love - Seifer/Squall Final fantasy 8 #4 and #5
Title: intimacy
Author: darksquall
Theme: intimacy (Five Stages of Love)
Series: FF8 Seifer/Squall
Rating: PG
I knew he trusted me the first time I saw him upset. It was on a Thursday evening, he’d just gotten back to garden after a meeting in Galbadia, he’d been up since four am despite my asking him to tell them he couldn’t make it, he was starting to come down with what I found out later was a bad case of the flu that knocked him off his feet for a week, and his dad had just been taken into hospital.
It takes a lot to drive Squall Leonhart to breaking point but I damn well hope there’s always someone to catch him when it happens, because he finally does break he goes down *fast*.
I’ve never felt as lost as when he walked in some time around nine having barely eaten all day, dumped his briefcase (I bought him that), tossed his leather trench coat (I bought him that too) onto a chair and just glared at the nearest wall like he could burn a hole right through it with his death ray eyes.
I knew he was angry, I’ve known him long enough to be able to feel when he’s angry without him ever having to say a word, but I didn’t expect to see tears roll down his cheeks. I certainly didn’t expect to see him sink to his knees.
When we were kids he’d always hide from me when he was upset enough to cry. I guess he knew I’d tease him until he got mad at me and started fighting. In my defense, he always stopped crying.
So I wasn’t really expecting him to collapse like that, but he’d been working so hard for so long I think he just burnt himself out.
“They wouldn’t let me talk to dad,” he said as I knelt down to hold him, touch him because I just didn’t know what else to do. That was another sign he was upset, he only calls Laguna dad when he thinks the poor guy deserves it or when he’s worried sick about him.
He lifted his head to look at me, his tears already gone. He never did cry for long as a kid. Though he didn’t say anything aloud I knew inside he was wondering if he should make an excuse or just let me touch him for a while.
If it hadn’t been for that night I don’t think we’d have gotten as close as we did. “Don’t leave,” he stated, his voice trying to keep that commander’s tone but falling just short.
“Told you I’m yours, squirt.”
“No… I mean move in with me. You sleep here every night anyway… might as well bring the rest of your
stuff here.”
I knew what a big deal it was for him to share his personal space, to let someone see all his secrets and his private life. To let them see every tiny little detail.
I don’t think he’ll ever know what it meant to me.
Title: Forever
Author: darksquall
Theme: commitment (Five Stages of Love)
Series: FF8 Seifer/Squall
Rating: PG
“This is it then,” Squall murmured, looking up into Seifer’s vibrant jade green eyes and half smiling. “The end.”
“Guess so,” Seifer shrugged. There was some small voice in him that was sure he was supposed to be disappointed but he couldn’t think of a happier moment in his entire life. He was content for it to end like this, it somehow felt right. And he’d known since that first day when Squall had kissed him that it would wind up this way.
“We’d better go in,” Squall said, smoothing Seifer’s lapel restlessly. He picked at an imaginary piece of lint, flicking it away and frowning critically. He’d always been meticulous, something of a perfectionist, especially when it had come to his lover’s appearance. Though whether he was doing it because he was concerned about what others might think of Seifer if he weren’t utter perfection (which Seifer believed he was anyway,) or whether it was just because he enjoyed that little intimacy of being permitted to correct Seifer’s attire, neither of them were sure.
“You are sure about this, right?” the older man asked, suddenly concerned that he’d forced Squall into a decision that he hadn’t liked, or had been hesitant about, yet when Squall lifted his head and smiled at Seifer, all his fears were suddenly swept away.
Squall nodded, just once, and stretched up those meagre four inches of height difference that meant the world to Seifer’s ego to kiss him. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. Come on, before Selphie comes to find us and drags us in.”
With a grin, Seifer looped his arm around Squall’s shoulders, threw open the doors to the great ballroom and steered his husband into the waiting party. The cheer that went up was almost deafening, and yet it was nothing compared to how he felt, knowing that this quiet, refined and graceful man that was permitting himself to be held so familiarly was his.
Squall’s father and sister were the first ones there to congratulate them, and after those two Seifer was no longer sure of who came when and who hugged who first.
What he was sure of, however, was that in the middle of it all, between the handshakes and hugs and kisses from the more forward of their friends, he caught Squall watching him. There was an almost dreamy expression on his beautiful face, a perfect curve to his lips and a soft look in his eye that said more than words ever could for the brunet.
Seifer grinned and mouthed “I love you, Leonhart.” over his father in law’s shoulder as Laguna clapped him on the back again.
Squall simply tilted his head to one side, almost embarrassed at being caught. “I love you too, Almasy,” he mouthed back. “Forever.”
Author: darksquall
Theme: intimacy (Five Stages of Love)
Series: FF8 Seifer/Squall
Rating: PG
I knew he trusted me the first time I saw him upset. It was on a Thursday evening, he’d just gotten back to garden after a meeting in Galbadia, he’d been up since four am despite my asking him to tell them he couldn’t make it, he was starting to come down with what I found out later was a bad case of the flu that knocked him off his feet for a week, and his dad had just been taken into hospital.
It takes a lot to drive Squall Leonhart to breaking point but I damn well hope there’s always someone to catch him when it happens, because he finally does break he goes down *fast*.
I’ve never felt as lost as when he walked in some time around nine having barely eaten all day, dumped his briefcase (I bought him that), tossed his leather trench coat (I bought him that too) onto a chair and just glared at the nearest wall like he could burn a hole right through it with his death ray eyes.
I knew he was angry, I’ve known him long enough to be able to feel when he’s angry without him ever having to say a word, but I didn’t expect to see tears roll down his cheeks. I certainly didn’t expect to see him sink to his knees.
When we were kids he’d always hide from me when he was upset enough to cry. I guess he knew I’d tease him until he got mad at me and started fighting. In my defense, he always stopped crying.
So I wasn’t really expecting him to collapse like that, but he’d been working so hard for so long I think he just burnt himself out.
“They wouldn’t let me talk to dad,” he said as I knelt down to hold him, touch him because I just didn’t know what else to do. That was another sign he was upset, he only calls Laguna dad when he thinks the poor guy deserves it or when he’s worried sick about him.
He lifted his head to look at me, his tears already gone. He never did cry for long as a kid. Though he didn’t say anything aloud I knew inside he was wondering if he should make an excuse or just let me touch him for a while.
If it hadn’t been for that night I don’t think we’d have gotten as close as we did. “Don’t leave,” he stated, his voice trying to keep that commander’s tone but falling just short.
“Told you I’m yours, squirt.”
“No… I mean move in with me. You sleep here every night anyway… might as well bring the rest of your
stuff here.”
I knew what a big deal it was for him to share his personal space, to let someone see all his secrets and his private life. To let them see every tiny little detail.
I don’t think he’ll ever know what it meant to me.
Title: Forever
Author: darksquall
Theme: commitment (Five Stages of Love)
Series: FF8 Seifer/Squall
Rating: PG
“This is it then,” Squall murmured, looking up into Seifer’s vibrant jade green eyes and half smiling. “The end.”
“Guess so,” Seifer shrugged. There was some small voice in him that was sure he was supposed to be disappointed but he couldn’t think of a happier moment in his entire life. He was content for it to end like this, it somehow felt right. And he’d known since that first day when Squall had kissed him that it would wind up this way.
“We’d better go in,” Squall said, smoothing Seifer’s lapel restlessly. He picked at an imaginary piece of lint, flicking it away and frowning critically. He’d always been meticulous, something of a perfectionist, especially when it had come to his lover’s appearance. Though whether he was doing it because he was concerned about what others might think of Seifer if he weren’t utter perfection (which Seifer believed he was anyway,) or whether it was just because he enjoyed that little intimacy of being permitted to correct Seifer’s attire, neither of them were sure.
“You are sure about this, right?” the older man asked, suddenly concerned that he’d forced Squall into a decision that he hadn’t liked, or had been hesitant about, yet when Squall lifted his head and smiled at Seifer, all his fears were suddenly swept away.
Squall nodded, just once, and stretched up those meagre four inches of height difference that meant the world to Seifer’s ego to kiss him. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. Come on, before Selphie comes to find us and drags us in.”
With a grin, Seifer looped his arm around Squall’s shoulders, threw open the doors to the great ballroom and steered his husband into the waiting party. The cheer that went up was almost deafening, and yet it was nothing compared to how he felt, knowing that this quiet, refined and graceful man that was permitting himself to be held so familiarly was his.
Squall’s father and sister were the first ones there to congratulate them, and after those two Seifer was no longer sure of who came when and who hugged who first.
What he was sure of, however, was that in the middle of it all, between the handshakes and hugs and kisses from the more forward of their friends, he caught Squall watching him. There was an almost dreamy expression on his beautiful face, a perfect curve to his lips and a soft look in his eye that said more than words ever could for the brunet.
Seifer grinned and mouthed “I love you, Leonhart.” over his father in law’s shoulder as Laguna clapped him on the back again.
Squall simply tilted his head to one side, almost embarrassed at being caught. “I love you too, Almasy,” he mouthed back. “Forever.”