Taking Up Room on Your Friend's Page
April 18 - April 20
“A series of contradictory cosmic messages brings conflict, surprise, stability, and success - all at the same time. You need to pay attention to every little thing that flies by now, for each is a clue to the deeper lessons you must learn. Interactions - possibly with an authority figure like your boss - are strained, but they will be resolved in your favor if you control your anger. As the Sun shifts into earthy Taurus, you are distracted by the unusual nature of your desires when sensual Venus joins weirdo Uranus. Expansive Jupiter comes to the rescue on April 20, making your wildest dreams come true.”
--From my personal astrology planner…
It was last week Friday after work when I finally broke down. I will attribute that to a Full Moon and allergies. I cried. I really cried. It felt so damn good just to verbalize things that I know are true, yet too timid to say. After that things seem 100% better. I feel better. Emotionally.
Time continues to race by and I’ve accepted that I must release my vices once and for all. I look to the future now with wide eyes of wonder. I have nearly relinquished all debts to parties past and present. I am optimistically saving for a vehicle to move the burden of maintenance, gas, mileage and traffic altercations from Katherine’s shoulders to my own. Soon. Very soon, but not too soon. This I am happy about.
An issue from my past has seemingly been resolved with Conciliation Court in the great city of Duluth. I received judgment and continue to wait for the roughly $2,000 I am rightfully owed. Hopefully “sooner than later” is a phrase the defendant is familiar with. Although I know she is working to save funds to reimburse me, I hope she realizes that “garnishing of wages” is a phrase I don’t want to write, let alone impose.
It looks like it’s about to rain. It’s looked like that for about two hours. I think I need to get going or I’ll be walking in the rain… Which is okay.
I’m determined to tone my body and lose what I call my winter coat. I’m walking to work everyday, five days a week. At the very least that’s 12.4 miles a week. So far this week: 11.16 miles and it’s not even Thursday! Anyway, now’s the time to embrace physical fitness! So yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty groovy. But that goes back to breaking down on Friday of last week.
Who am I? That’s a question I asked myself on Friday. I didn’t know. I’ve been thinking about that a little bit and here’s what I’ve come up with:
I’m 20 years old. I’ve got two months and one week until I turn 21. With the help of a loved one, I’ve determined that I’m not going to do things that make me feel guilty. I want to get married. I know who I want to get married to. I want to own a car. I want to own a home. I know there’s a time and a place for everything, yet struggle with censorship - especially self-censorship. I’m fairly insecure about who I am, but I’m beginning to understand what it is I stand for. I say things for shock-value most days. I’m afraid to meet new people, so I put up a ‘funny-man’ front that I can’t stand. I struggle with knowing the difference between who I was and who I am. I can’t stand who I was. I am lucky that I have someone in my life that is such a positive force it sends chills up my spine. I am a dreamer that knows what he wants and follows the path as it is laid before him. I have an anger problem. Not outwardly, but an inner-rage that burns very hot occasionally. I would rather be a cyclist than drive a car any day. Period. I don’t like being under the influence. I’m going to apply for a new job. I don’t like loosing control. I’m self-centered. I know that I’m self-centered. I’m really trying to realize that I’m not the only one in the room, hopefully long enough to not be deemed a prink upon an initial meeting. I am a hopeless romantic. I’m slightly witty. I’m honest. I pretend not to care. I’m a worrier. I cry. I’m a conspiracy theorist that doesn’t think 9/11 was Osama. I push people away. I’m judgmental. I’m not a good person, sometimes. I’m a product of my parents. My parents are a product of my past. I’m a rambler that doesn’t like paragraphs all the time. I’m 20 and work for Wells Fargo with 20 days paid-vacation and a 401K. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m a very spiritual person. I curse more than I should. I don’t see things as black and white. I’m not afraid to ask why. I’m a movie star. I demand answers. I am so in love with her… I want a change to occur on a global level. I encourage peace. I sometimes forget about peace, tolerance, persistence, understanding. I am hungry. I am not a poet. I’m probably not a playwright either. I want to be a director. I want someone to give me that chance. I do not know what the special event was during my conception; my mother won’t tell me. Unless, I was the special event. But that sounds selfish.
Hmmm…
What else?
I don’t know. I’ve kinda just been clickin’ the notes - I’m not watchin’. This is just a thought. For now. Something will come of this. It has to. That’s the way. Hopefully it’s positive. But if it’s negative, I hope positive blooms from the destruction. I am still hungry. Okay. End notes for now. Michael. James. Venske.
“A series of contradictory cosmic messages brings conflict, surprise, stability, and success - all at the same time. You need to pay attention to every little thing that flies by now, for each is a clue to the deeper lessons you must learn. Interactions - possibly with an authority figure like your boss - are strained, but they will be resolved in your favor if you control your anger. As the Sun shifts into earthy Taurus, you are distracted by the unusual nature of your desires when sensual Venus joins weirdo Uranus. Expansive Jupiter comes to the rescue on April 20, making your wildest dreams come true.”
--From my personal astrology planner…
It was last week Friday after work when I finally broke down. I will attribute that to a Full Moon and allergies. I cried. I really cried. It felt so damn good just to verbalize things that I know are true, yet too timid to say. After that things seem 100% better. I feel better. Emotionally.
Time continues to race by and I’ve accepted that I must release my vices once and for all. I look to the future now with wide eyes of wonder. I have nearly relinquished all debts to parties past and present. I am optimistically saving for a vehicle to move the burden of maintenance, gas, mileage and traffic altercations from Katherine’s shoulders to my own. Soon. Very soon, but not too soon. This I am happy about.
An issue from my past has seemingly been resolved with Conciliation Court in the great city of Duluth. I received judgment and continue to wait for the roughly $2,000 I am rightfully owed. Hopefully “sooner than later” is a phrase the defendant is familiar with. Although I know she is working to save funds to reimburse me, I hope she realizes that “garnishing of wages” is a phrase I don’t want to write, let alone impose.
It looks like it’s about to rain. It’s looked like that for about two hours. I think I need to get going or I’ll be walking in the rain… Which is okay.
I’m determined to tone my body and lose what I call my winter coat. I’m walking to work everyday, five days a week. At the very least that’s 12.4 miles a week. So far this week: 11.16 miles and it’s not even Thursday! Anyway, now’s the time to embrace physical fitness! So yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty groovy. But that goes back to breaking down on Friday of last week.
Who am I? That’s a question I asked myself on Friday. I didn’t know. I’ve been thinking about that a little bit and here’s what I’ve come up with:
I’m 20 years old. I’ve got two months and one week until I turn 21. With the help of a loved one, I’ve determined that I’m not going to do things that make me feel guilty. I want to get married. I know who I want to get married to. I want to own a car. I want to own a home. I know there’s a time and a place for everything, yet struggle with censorship - especially self-censorship. I’m fairly insecure about who I am, but I’m beginning to understand what it is I stand for. I say things for shock-value most days. I’m afraid to meet new people, so I put up a ‘funny-man’ front that I can’t stand. I struggle with knowing the difference between who I was and who I am. I can’t stand who I was. I am lucky that I have someone in my life that is such a positive force it sends chills up my spine. I am a dreamer that knows what he wants and follows the path as it is laid before him. I have an anger problem. Not outwardly, but an inner-rage that burns very hot occasionally. I would rather be a cyclist than drive a car any day. Period. I don’t like being under the influence. I’m going to apply for a new job. I don’t like loosing control. I’m self-centered. I know that I’m self-centered. I’m really trying to realize that I’m not the only one in the room, hopefully long enough to not be deemed a prink upon an initial meeting. I am a hopeless romantic. I’m slightly witty. I’m honest. I pretend not to care. I’m a worrier. I cry. I’m a conspiracy theorist that doesn’t think 9/11 was Osama. I push people away. I’m judgmental. I’m not a good person, sometimes. I’m a product of my parents. My parents are a product of my past. I’m a rambler that doesn’t like paragraphs all the time. I’m 20 and work for Wells Fargo with 20 days paid-vacation and a 401K. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m a very spiritual person. I curse more than I should. I don’t see things as black and white. I’m not afraid to ask why. I’m a movie star. I demand answers. I am so in love with her… I want a change to occur on a global level. I encourage peace. I sometimes forget about peace, tolerance, persistence, understanding. I am hungry. I am not a poet. I’m probably not a playwright either. I want to be a director. I want someone to give me that chance. I do not know what the special event was during my conception; my mother won’t tell me. Unless, I was the special event. But that sounds selfish.
Hmmm…
What else?
I don’t know. I’ve kinda just been clickin’ the notes - I’m not watchin’. This is just a thought. For now. Something will come of this. It has to. That’s the way. Hopefully it’s positive. But if it’s negative, I hope positive blooms from the destruction. I am still hungry. Okay. End notes for now. Michael. James. Venske.