Man oh man...
So I'm at the school right now... helping with the set...painting and the lights with Mr. Willmot... it's only me, Mr. Willmot, and Ms Sinclair... nobody else... just the three of us doing what we can... Tonight I'm gonna go watch a movie with Alexandra at her house...
I'm not sure why I'm actually writing in here right now...
So I've realized that the days till my chemotherapy, is like me counting down until the apocolypse... I dunno why but I sure feel that way... every second...minute...hour...day...wutever... almost only a week... a week and a day and I'll be sitting in that chair with the IV in me...getting my beautiful drugs to rid my body of this deadly virus... Let's just hope I don't get too sick from all this...cause that would really suck...
I'm trying to get a job at Robinette's Coffee... the one down Ashburn Rd... Kelly works there and she's putting a good word in to the boss for me... so that'll be cool... It's just that everytime I go down there to get an application they don't have any, and I"ve seen him and reminded him like three times of it... lol...but it's okay... I'm hoping to start off with atleast $7.25... that would be nice...it would only be 25 cents short of my last job at Toys R Us...but I'm sure that if I can bust my ass there I'll be up to like... 7.75 or 8.00 by the time mid july rolls around...and that would be really sweet...especially if I was putting in a lot of hours... however, I may look for a job at a restuarant when I turn 18, July 4th, so that I can make tips...but that'll depend if I really like my job at his coffee shop...
I just realized that I haven't eaten all day and I'm actually really really hungry... but surprise surprise...guess who doesn't eat... like ever!!
*sigh*... so I do have to admit that I miss Alexandra... a lot... but I know that this is for the best... I won't be able to be there for her when she needs someone during my Chemotherapy... and Lord knows I"m gonna need someone too, but I hope her and I can remain friends... and maybe get back together when the chemotherapy is over... she's 17!!! come on!! she needs to have fun and go to the mall and hang with friends... and have sleep overs... not worry about her 17 year old boyfriend and his cancer... it's bad enough that I was burdened with it, no need to burden others... you know?? I mean... like... yesterday she had an old friend visit for like the whole night... until like 1am... and then today she went to the mall with Sam (kinkowski???- I don't think that's right) and Rachael Swartz... She hasn't done that... in ages... and that's good... that's something that she was missing in our relationship... and I think that's why she wasn't all that "happy appearing"... I mean... granted it's not easy going through what I am... and it's hard for me, casue I can't always be happy... actually hardly ever... but I'm seeing a psychologist this coming week so don't worry (I'll be missing more school, but so be it)... so maybe I can get help and be more "happy" again... you know? cause that would really be great... I didn't mean to break her heart, and it wasn't supposed to be this way... but... sometimes I feel that you have to put emotions aside and think with your head... and in this situation... I had to be reasonable about it, and know that I can't let this chemo-shit bring her down... I CAN"T do that to her... I love her too much... yes I still love her... and I"m still going to tell her that I Love her... no Id on't want another girlfriend... she wasn't a bad girl... she was AMAZING... she was so caring, and she's been so supportive of me through all of this, and she was always there for me when I needed her...but I honestly think that's just my point, she shouldn't have to do that... but it'll be hard for awhile, and maybe awkward, but I"m going to do everything I can during rehearsal to not let it be awkward...
Everything's getting messed up... EVERYTHING... and I dunno what to do... I never turned in a term paper for Mr. Fitz... and that's 25% of the quarter grade... maybe I should do that tonight and e-mail him with it... I dunno... I hope he'll take it... I have all the research done for it, I just need to write the damned paper...
I'm being hailed back to do more work on the stage... but leave some love for me or messages... or whatever... this one I"ll leave open to the general public I guess... maybe I"ll make it friend only later if I don't like the responses I'm getting...
Oh, and I"ll post the address of the place where I"m doing my chemotherapy, and maybe you all can come visit me at some point... I'll put the dates down here, and the general times... it's actually in the Marymount University building that's to the left of Regal Cinema (if you're looking at the theater... If you're approaching the theater in a car...right down the middle, and you turn left at the end, and keep going the first building kinda on the left is the marymount university building, and it says Cancer Center on the far left corner... I'm in there... second floor... room like... 230 I think... Oncology Dr. Simms... but I'll give specifics later... as for now, I've gotta get back to work here...
Laterz...
I'm not sure why I'm actually writing in here right now...
So I've realized that the days till my chemotherapy, is like me counting down until the apocolypse... I dunno why but I sure feel that way... every second...minute...hour...day...wutever... almost only a week... a week and a day and I'll be sitting in that chair with the IV in me...getting my beautiful drugs to rid my body of this deadly virus... Let's just hope I don't get too sick from all this...cause that would really suck...
I'm trying to get a job at Robinette's Coffee... the one down Ashburn Rd... Kelly works there and she's putting a good word in to the boss for me... so that'll be cool... It's just that everytime I go down there to get an application they don't have any, and I"ve seen him and reminded him like three times of it... lol...but it's okay... I'm hoping to start off with atleast $7.25... that would be nice...it would only be 25 cents short of my last job at Toys R Us...but I'm sure that if I can bust my ass there I'll be up to like... 7.75 or 8.00 by the time mid july rolls around...and that would be really sweet...especially if I was putting in a lot of hours... however, I may look for a job at a restuarant when I turn 18, July 4th, so that I can make tips...but that'll depend if I really like my job at his coffee shop...
I just realized that I haven't eaten all day and I'm actually really really hungry... but surprise surprise...guess who doesn't eat... like ever!!
*sigh*... so I do have to admit that I miss Alexandra... a lot... but I know that this is for the best... I won't be able to be there for her when she needs someone during my Chemotherapy... and Lord knows I"m gonna need someone too, but I hope her and I can remain friends... and maybe get back together when the chemotherapy is over... she's 17!!! come on!! she needs to have fun and go to the mall and hang with friends... and have sleep overs... not worry about her 17 year old boyfriend and his cancer... it's bad enough that I was burdened with it, no need to burden others... you know?? I mean... like... yesterday she had an old friend visit for like the whole night... until like 1am... and then today she went to the mall with Sam (kinkowski???- I don't think that's right) and Rachael Swartz... She hasn't done that... in ages... and that's good... that's something that she was missing in our relationship... and I think that's why she wasn't all that "happy appearing"... I mean... granted it's not easy going through what I am... and it's hard for me, casue I can't always be happy... actually hardly ever... but I'm seeing a psychologist this coming week so don't worry (I'll be missing more school, but so be it)... so maybe I can get help and be more "happy" again... you know? cause that would really be great... I didn't mean to break her heart, and it wasn't supposed to be this way... but... sometimes I feel that you have to put emotions aside and think with your head... and in this situation... I had to be reasonable about it, and know that I can't let this chemo-shit bring her down... I CAN"T do that to her... I love her too much... yes I still love her... and I"m still going to tell her that I Love her... no Id on't want another girlfriend... she wasn't a bad girl... she was AMAZING... she was so caring, and she's been so supportive of me through all of this, and she was always there for me when I needed her...but I honestly think that's just my point, she shouldn't have to do that... but it'll be hard for awhile, and maybe awkward, but I"m going to do everything I can during rehearsal to not let it be awkward...
Everything's getting messed up... EVERYTHING... and I dunno what to do... I never turned in a term paper for Mr. Fitz... and that's 25% of the quarter grade... maybe I should do that tonight and e-mail him with it... I dunno... I hope he'll take it... I have all the research done for it, I just need to write the damned paper...
I'm being hailed back to do more work on the stage... but leave some love for me or messages... or whatever... this one I"ll leave open to the general public I guess... maybe I"ll make it friend only later if I don't like the responses I'm getting...
Oh, and I"ll post the address of the place where I"m doing my chemotherapy, and maybe you all can come visit me at some point... I'll put the dates down here, and the general times... it's actually in the Marymount University building that's to the left of Regal Cinema (if you're looking at the theater... If you're approaching the theater in a car...right down the middle, and you turn left at the end, and keep going the first building kinda on the left is the marymount university building, and it says Cancer Center on the far left corner... I'm in there... second floor... room like... 230 I think... Oncology Dr. Simms... but I'll give specifics later... as for now, I've gotta get back to work here...
Laterz...