(no subject)
I'm feeling good. I went grocery shopping yesterday and finally got some staples for my house: not a ton, but I can at least make some simple recipes, and I have things on hand so I can branch out a little bit at a time without dropping $50. I mostly got pasta and canned tomato products and beans, and it should be enough to last me for a while and liven up what little bit of food I have. (Since I actually have other things in the house to eat, I ate oatmeal today. It tastes a lot better when it's not the only thing you have.)
I've been struggling with depression a lot over the last couple of years. It's strange, because I've been to wonderful places and done really cool things, but some days I just look around me and feel like a fantastic fucking failure. But things are starting to look up. I'm actually getting some cleaning done in my house, instead of looking dismally at rooms and saying "goddammit, I really need to do some cleaning here" and then fucking off and doing other things. It's a long way from complete, but I actually feel like I can do something now.
I've also been thinking about after college and budgeting, and realistically, I think I would enjoy living on fairly modest means rather than trying to land a job in a big corporate environment. Corporate environments sort of rub me the wrong way, and I hate the idea of having such a strong disconnect in my life between home and work. I understand how some people might like it, but I don't think it's for me. I'm going to be getting a share in a CSA farm this year, so I'll be getting more fresh vegetables and supporting local farmers, and I'd rather do more stuff at home and have less money than be away all the time and have enough money to get into trouble with. I'm really enjoying knitting and cooking, and I'm excited at the prospect of gardening and home repair this spring and summer (and later, of course).
I was talking to a fellow philosophy student about Life After Graduation because I was attending job fairs and such, and she asked, "well, what do you want to do?" I replied, "I want to buy my family home and start a garden." She just shook her head and said, "I'll never understand people like you." I'm not really sure who she was lumping me in with.
I'm still thinking about the Peace Corps, and I know that right now (or probably even in eighteen months, after the long application process), I wouldn't want to be away for over two years. But in the back of my mind I have been thinking about skills and coping techniques that I would actively want if I were in the Peace Corps, and honestly that motivates a lot of what I do. Of course I say it's for the zombie apocalypse, and sometimes I pause and wonder which excuse would be more intelligible to someone asking me, "Why are you learning x?"
I'm also very excited about the prospect of visiting a friend in Toronto, who has offered me a place to stay for the duration of the visit. I looked at flight dates for the week after I graduate (so I could take a nice break but be back in time for my brother's high school graduation), and it looks like I might be able to manage travel to and from Toronto and expenses there for under 500 USD. That would be amazing.
That's probably long enough for one entry, but I am actively recruiting recipes for hot and sour soup or anything using coconut milk. Anyone have any favorites? (For "hot and sour soup" read any variety of soup that is both spicy and sour, not just Mandarin or Sichuan styles.)
I've been struggling with depression a lot over the last couple of years. It's strange, because I've been to wonderful places and done really cool things, but some days I just look around me and feel like a fantastic fucking failure. But things are starting to look up. I'm actually getting some cleaning done in my house, instead of looking dismally at rooms and saying "goddammit, I really need to do some cleaning here" and then fucking off and doing other things. It's a long way from complete, but I actually feel like I can do something now.
I've also been thinking about after college and budgeting, and realistically, I think I would enjoy living on fairly modest means rather than trying to land a job in a big corporate environment. Corporate environments sort of rub me the wrong way, and I hate the idea of having such a strong disconnect in my life between home and work. I understand how some people might like it, but I don't think it's for me. I'm going to be getting a share in a CSA farm this year, so I'll be getting more fresh vegetables and supporting local farmers, and I'd rather do more stuff at home and have less money than be away all the time and have enough money to get into trouble with. I'm really enjoying knitting and cooking, and I'm excited at the prospect of gardening and home repair this spring and summer (and later, of course).
I was talking to a fellow philosophy student about Life After Graduation because I was attending job fairs and such, and she asked, "well, what do you want to do?" I replied, "I want to buy my family home and start a garden." She just shook her head and said, "I'll never understand people like you." I'm not really sure who she was lumping me in with.
I'm still thinking about the Peace Corps, and I know that right now (or probably even in eighteen months, after the long application process), I wouldn't want to be away for over two years. But in the back of my mind I have been thinking about skills and coping techniques that I would actively want if I were in the Peace Corps, and honestly that motivates a lot of what I do. Of course I say it's for the zombie apocalypse, and sometimes I pause and wonder which excuse would be more intelligible to someone asking me, "Why are you learning x?"
I'm also very excited about the prospect of visiting a friend in Toronto, who has offered me a place to stay for the duration of the visit. I looked at flight dates for the week after I graduate (so I could take a nice break but be back in time for my brother's high school graduation), and it looks like I might be able to manage travel to and from Toronto and expenses there for under 500 USD. That would be amazing.
That's probably long enough for one entry, but I am actively recruiting recipes for hot and sour soup or anything using coconut milk. Anyone have any favorites? (For "hot and sour soup" read any variety of soup that is both spicy and sour, not just Mandarin or Sichuan styles.)