emergence

[stae]

In all my existance i have only once been overcome by a persons presence. Sitting on a bus when i was at uni i noticed a girl, nothing particularly exceptional about her but she had an element about her that i could not deny. A presence that captivated and enthralled me. Chance would have it that we established a friendship of sorts and we spent a

Comments

[stae]

Hmm perhaps but the thing is the reward isn't being offered in return for the act, it is a self assessment as to whether one is prepared or ready for the challenge so to speak. (not saying people are challenges to overcome).

ok lets try this a different way with 2 different analogies, 1 of which will be quite stupid but i am going to do it anyway.

Lets just say someone contracts you to build a house, now you may only have a rudimentary understanding of what is required to do this. are you going to go ahead and build your house out of straw (symbolising entering a relationship as is with no prior consideration of the consequences or longevity of what you are trying to build)and consequently suffer the attack of the wolf (representing the stresses that occur when there is too much of an imbalance in character development) or are you going to go away and have a think about what is necessary to create a stable and enduring structure?

That or lets say you know that your partner has a favourite meal. do you jump in and try to make it and run the risk of fucking it up or do you actually have a look at what is required and acquire the skills necessary?

I just feel that there has to be a degree of commonality between people first. a shared understanding, if its not there why would you want to put yourself out there to look like an ill prepared amateur?

Life is about growth and development, if the stages aren't close enough then before you know you may find yourself in the clink clapped in irons facing charges of paedophilia *joke*

[ninedeadleaves]

"Lets just say someone contracts you to build a house"...Well, they didn't really contract you, did they? The point of this discussion is the fact that you consciously choose to change yourself (build a house) based on your opinion of yourself and its standing in the eyes of the one you want to build a house for. So they aren't contracting you to do anything - they're not saying 'You are not good enough for me. You must acquire a better, more compatible personality in order for me to deign notice you.' You're the one making that call.
Secondly, ask around. If you can't risk making yourself look like a fool in front of someone you want to share a house with, whilst doing something that means something to them, then should you really be in that house in the first place? Sure, go away and study, that's fine, but at what point do you start getting report cards?

[stae]

No they didn't contract me at all, but i didn't mean it literally i meant it more as a parable. furthermore i never expected that the whole dynamic would be based on a point system. i was just not ready emotionally, intellectually or psychologically ready for her.

there are nigh on thousands of analogies that i could draw upon to highlight the concept. the idea of learning to dance before asking a person to dance and trying to impress them with the chicken dance you learned in high school.

just like your synopsis on goths and their pseudo-intellectualism, you have obviously encountered people trying to sound more intelligent than they are. playing at a role that is just a front. some do not suffer fools lightly. i would rather be as genuine as i can than wear a mask and fumble my way through.

[ninedeadleaves]

Perhaps, but the way it sounds is as though the lines between mask and real skin blur and become indistinguishable. And I'm tired now, and I'm embroiled in a created world of my own, so I'm going to retire from discussions for the evening. Adieu.