Fucking moron
Well, it’s my day off. I’ve declared that I will spend it writing. More specifically, working on my novel. I’ve been lax in writing lately. Therefore, I’ll start the energies flowing with a quick post. *shrugs* It might be amusing.
When you work at Disney, you have to deal with a lot of morons. For those of you who don’t know- (Watch me toy with the 4th wall, since the only people who will read this already know about my job) I drive biiiiiiiig fucking boats in Epcot. They’re called the friendship boats, but most of the people who ride on it exude an aura of stupidity, not friendship. Anyway, these boats are air conditioned with 4 air conditioners in the ceiling. They do a good job of keeping the boat cool when it’s mostly empty and everything’s been closed up for 30 minutes or so. But when we’re opening and closing doors all the time, the front by the main door gets as hot as the outside. And when we load 100 people at MGM studios, the entire boat gets very hot. Simple physics. Humans are at around 98.6 degrees, and while our core temperature stays pretty much the same, our skin temp can vary with the environment… Keep this in mind.
So we’ve got 100 people coming in out of the blazing sun into our cool boat, and it’s very crowded. Standing room only, and that’s just if you enjoy your head being stuffed in bubba’s armpit. Bubba is a 6’3” man who hasn’t exercised since ’83, and has eaten pure lard most of the days since. Bubba is a big man, and we usually have 3 Bubba’s on a full load… But that’s another rant.
Where was I? Oh yes, 100 people at the studios. Very hot boat because of this. We start going towards the Swan and Dolphin, and I give my usual full-boat-spiel, “Folks, we are air conditioned, but when we’re this full, our air conditioners tend to suffer, so it will get a bit warm in here. Please bare with us and we’ll have you at your destination as fast as we can.”
No, I don’t actually expect them to listen, but I say it anyway…
So we get to S&D. Unload a good 50 people. All rejoice. A good 20 get on at S&D. Fuck.
Now, we seem to have picked up two intellects on this load. One is a woman who believes that fiddling with one of the AC units will help. She turns the temp select (Temp the unit will turn on at) to the hottest setting we have and procedes to complain that it stopped throwing cold air.
No shit, bitch.
So I walk back and turn the temp setting back to normal, and as I’m doing this, she complains that it’ll start throwing warm air in a moment.
Unit throws nicely chilled air. I stand under it for the next minute, feeling very refreshed. I tell her it’s working fine and go back to the front.
Enter the next intellect. Now, I can deal with the stupid bitch. She didn’t try to engage me in conversation. No, bitch’s friend tried to, and that pisses me off. I hate actually speaking to dumbasses.
“Well, there is something wrong with those things. Every time I’ve been on before, the boat’s much cooler.”
Stop. Turn. Resist the urge to poke the bastard in the eye (I don’t have my knife on me, sad to say). “Sir, the AC units are fine, we just had a lot of people on our boat, and they always suffer when we’re full.”
“No, every time I’ve come on, the boat is cooler. Something’s wrong.”
What I wish would happen: “Really? Sir, do you drive these boats? Have you taken them out of the marina in the morning and put them back in at night? Have you been on these boats for the past eight fucking hours? I happen to know the boat’s fucking patterns. When we get 100 people, we get hot. But since it’s too hot for you, I have a solution” *proceeds to throw intellect 2 overboard* “Anyone else want to contradict the man who actually has a fucking clue???”
What actually happened: “Sure. I’ll have maintenance check it out..”
I fucking hate stupid people.
When you work at Disney, you have to deal with a lot of morons. For those of you who don’t know- (Watch me toy with the 4th wall, since the only people who will read this already know about my job) I drive biiiiiiiig fucking boats in Epcot. They’re called the friendship boats, but most of the people who ride on it exude an aura of stupidity, not friendship. Anyway, these boats are air conditioned with 4 air conditioners in the ceiling. They do a good job of keeping the boat cool when it’s mostly empty and everything’s been closed up for 30 minutes or so. But when we’re opening and closing doors all the time, the front by the main door gets as hot as the outside. And when we load 100 people at MGM studios, the entire boat gets very hot. Simple physics. Humans are at around 98.6 degrees, and while our core temperature stays pretty much the same, our skin temp can vary with the environment… Keep this in mind.
So we’ve got 100 people coming in out of the blazing sun into our cool boat, and it’s very crowded. Standing room only, and that’s just if you enjoy your head being stuffed in bubba’s armpit. Bubba is a 6’3” man who hasn’t exercised since ’83, and has eaten pure lard most of the days since. Bubba is a big man, and we usually have 3 Bubba’s on a full load… But that’s another rant.
Where was I? Oh yes, 100 people at the studios. Very hot boat because of this. We start going towards the Swan and Dolphin, and I give my usual full-boat-spiel, “Folks, we are air conditioned, but when we’re this full, our air conditioners tend to suffer, so it will get a bit warm in here. Please bare with us and we’ll have you at your destination as fast as we can.”
No, I don’t actually expect them to listen, but I say it anyway…
So we get to S&D. Unload a good 50 people. All rejoice. A good 20 get on at S&D. Fuck.
Now, we seem to have picked up two intellects on this load. One is a woman who believes that fiddling with one of the AC units will help. She turns the temp select (Temp the unit will turn on at) to the hottest setting we have and procedes to complain that it stopped throwing cold air.
No shit, bitch.
So I walk back and turn the temp setting back to normal, and as I’m doing this, she complains that it’ll start throwing warm air in a moment.
Unit throws nicely chilled air. I stand under it for the next minute, feeling very refreshed. I tell her it’s working fine and go back to the front.
Enter the next intellect. Now, I can deal with the stupid bitch. She didn’t try to engage me in conversation. No, bitch’s friend tried to, and that pisses me off. I hate actually speaking to dumbasses.
“Well, there is something wrong with those things. Every time I’ve been on before, the boat’s much cooler.”
Stop. Turn. Resist the urge to poke the bastard in the eye (I don’t have my knife on me, sad to say). “Sir, the AC units are fine, we just had a lot of people on our boat, and they always suffer when we’re full.”
“No, every time I’ve come on, the boat is cooler. Something’s wrong.”
What I wish would happen: “Really? Sir, do you drive these boats? Have you taken them out of the marina in the morning and put them back in at night? Have you been on these boats for the past eight fucking hours? I happen to know the boat’s fucking patterns. When we get 100 people, we get hot. But since it’s too hot for you, I have a solution” *proceeds to throw intellect 2 overboard* “Anyone else want to contradict the man who actually has a fucking clue???”
What actually happened: “Sure. I’ll have maintenance check it out..”
I fucking hate stupid people.