Promise not to fade away...
I still find myself asking questions about whether the last 3 months was real or not...Valentine's Day seemed really good...most of February did actually...I thought we were on the right track.
This whole friends thing is hard...I knew it would be...but I suppose since it's her, it's so much harder. I don't get it. And what's worse is that she seems so...indifferent to the situation. She says it bothers her, but does it really? I don't ever, ever get that vibe from her.
Ugh...but I should be happy that she's happy...this is what she wants and needs right? Why am I so ...angry at that?
I've been trying to do things to get my mind off of things - I workout a little more than usual...just sit-ups and push-ups, but if you knew me, that's a lot. I have an appointment with Dallas Audio Post in a couple weeks to professionally record a voice demo. Then I'll write a cover letter and send the package off to a couple of agencies...we'll see where life takes me from there. Starbucks is still treating me well. The 're-invention' of the company is refreshing and good. I hang out with people from work sometimes...but I wish I could find other avenues of meeting people. I don't just mean girls...I mean like, friends. I love the people at work, but...you know? Just need others...or maybe I don't. I'm so confused about what I 'need.' I know what I want....but that may not necessarily be what I need. *sigh* I could use a good double shot of Johnny Walker Black. Unfortunately, the only liquor in the apartment is Coffee Liqueur, Cherry Vodka, and light rum. I need...a sign...or something else to happen in life.
Matt
This whole friends thing is hard...I knew it would be...but I suppose since it's her, it's so much harder. I don't get it. And what's worse is that she seems so...indifferent to the situation. She says it bothers her, but does it really? I don't ever, ever get that vibe from her.
Ugh...but I should be happy that she's happy...this is what she wants and needs right? Why am I so ...angry at that?
I've been trying to do things to get my mind off of things - I workout a little more than usual...just sit-ups and push-ups, but if you knew me, that's a lot. I have an appointment with Dallas Audio Post in a couple weeks to professionally record a voice demo. Then I'll write a cover letter and send the package off to a couple of agencies...we'll see where life takes me from there. Starbucks is still treating me well. The 're-invention' of the company is refreshing and good. I hang out with people from work sometimes...but I wish I could find other avenues of meeting people. I don't just mean girls...I mean like, friends. I love the people at work, but...you know? Just need others...or maybe I don't. I'm so confused about what I 'need.' I know what I want....but that may not necessarily be what I need. *sigh* I could use a good double shot of Johnny Walker Black. Unfortunately, the only liquor in the apartment is Coffee Liqueur, Cherry Vodka, and light rum. I need...a sign...or something else to happen in life.
Matt