=(
it took a talk with stacey, and a very sad movie for me to realize how much i miss my dad.
this whole time, ive been avoiding it. ive been putting it aside, because i didnt want to deal with it. but having my talk with stacey made me realize that i cant put it off forever. we talked about everything. i didnt even know some of the stuff she told me, and it feels good to finally know. the whole night he died is so clear to me-but thats the only thing. i dont remember the funeral, and i know i should. its just not something i want to remember, ya know. i feel like a bad daughter, i dont even remember my own dads funeral. but having this talk-made me realize all the people that were there for us, when we needed them. and looking back, i dont know how i would of done it without them.
its the littlest things i miss the most. i miss his laugh, his voice, his jokes, hearing the side door close and knowing he was home. i miss going up the camp with him-i miss his smile. i miss the feeling of sitting on his lap, and just being near him. i miss the fact that he's not going to be there when i get married to walk me down the aisle-the one thing he always told me about. i miss the way he protected me, and comforted me when i was upset. i just miss the closeness we had. and, i just miss him-its that simple.
i know i cant be selfish-and say i wish he was still here, because he's not suffering anymore-and i have to look at it that way. its just hard to say that your happy he's not suffering anymore-because deep down, its you who's suffering without him.
wow. i actually never spilled my feelings to anyone like this-but its about time i did. and it feels good to get some of them out.
well if you read this-thanks for listening.
RIP Dad ♥ i love you
this whole time, ive been avoiding it. ive been putting it aside, because i didnt want to deal with it. but having my talk with stacey made me realize that i cant put it off forever. we talked about everything. i didnt even know some of the stuff she told me, and it feels good to finally know. the whole night he died is so clear to me-but thats the only thing. i dont remember the funeral, and i know i should. its just not something i want to remember, ya know. i feel like a bad daughter, i dont even remember my own dads funeral. but having this talk-made me realize all the people that were there for us, when we needed them. and looking back, i dont know how i would of done it without them.
its the littlest things i miss the most. i miss his laugh, his voice, his jokes, hearing the side door close and knowing he was home. i miss going up the camp with him-i miss his smile. i miss the feeling of sitting on his lap, and just being near him. i miss the fact that he's not going to be there when i get married to walk me down the aisle-the one thing he always told me about. i miss the way he protected me, and comforted me when i was upset. i just miss the closeness we had. and, i just miss him-its that simple.
i know i cant be selfish-and say i wish he was still here, because he's not suffering anymore-and i have to look at it that way. its just hard to say that your happy he's not suffering anymore-because deep down, its you who's suffering without him.
wow. i actually never spilled my feelings to anyone like this-but its about time i did. and it feels good to get some of them out.
well if you read this-thanks for listening.
RIP Dad ♥ i love you