(no subject)
well im feeling pretty shitty about myself right about now.
i think im losing someone, who's the closest person to me, ever. it really sucks. it might not be obvious, but i think its slowly happening. i mean, honestly what do i do, its not like i can tell them-what are they going to do. i've been reading some past journals of mine, and some other peoples, and i really feel like i know the person who is commenting in some of them. calling me a bitch, and two faced. but now, i think i finally realized, that the person is just telling the truth.
i just feel so weird. its like, i try to do the right things, but then in the end im the only one who suffers the consequences. im the one who everyone gets mad at, and im the one who everyone thinks is the bitch. i never wanted to give that impression to anyone, and its not like i mean to be bitchy, its just there is too much going on in my life, and i guess-as sad as it seems, thats how i take all my frustration out. on other people, instead of on myself or activities.
i have come to the realization that i am two faced. but so is everyother person that i talk to. i can not honestly think of one person i know who isnt two faced, no offense guys-but seriously, think about it. when your furious and steaming mad your going to run your mouth without thinking about what your saying or who your with. then after its like, damn what the hell was wrong with me there? i mean, i know im not the only idiot who does it, well hell maybe i am, but it still isnt good, and im not proud.
i guess what this whole thing is about, is that im sorry. im sorry if i hurt anyone of you's, with my words, or actions or anything. i never meant to hurt anyone. i know i might say shit, but so does everyone. i guess i have just been realizing, who my true friends are. but now that i know who those people are, i think of the way i've been toward them, and i cringe. im lucky so many of them stayed with me and by my side. but i also realized, that its time for me to change-for the better. im going to try my best not to do some of the stuff that i am doing now. so once again, im sorry-and i ♥ you all.
i signed up for field hockey today. i figured, i always loved hockey, and since im not a good ice skater i guess ill try the field version, although its not really like ice hockey-at all. i guess im pretty excited about it. theres alot of people who signed up, who i really dont think will follow through with it, which kind of upsets me idk why. i really am going to follow through with this, because i love hockey, and i really need to become active in something instead of being a lazy bum all my life.
i have so many emotions now, that i dont even know how to explain. one minute im happy, the next im sad, and so on and so forth. lately ive been experiencing alot of anger, and i really dont know why. its like every little thing gets to me. and the funny part is, its the littlest things too. wow-maybe i really do need some kind of help.
well i guess im going to go now. maybe ill do some homework for the remaining 30 minutes which should go over real well=\
maybe ill write more later
♥stacyy
im sorry=(
especially to stacey♥
i think im losing someone, who's the closest person to me, ever. it really sucks. it might not be obvious, but i think its slowly happening. i mean, honestly what do i do, its not like i can tell them-what are they going to do. i've been reading some past journals of mine, and some other peoples, and i really feel like i know the person who is commenting in some of them. calling me a bitch, and two faced. but now, i think i finally realized, that the person is just telling the truth.
i just feel so weird. its like, i try to do the right things, but then in the end im the only one who suffers the consequences. im the one who everyone gets mad at, and im the one who everyone thinks is the bitch. i never wanted to give that impression to anyone, and its not like i mean to be bitchy, its just there is too much going on in my life, and i guess-as sad as it seems, thats how i take all my frustration out. on other people, instead of on myself or activities.
i have come to the realization that i am two faced. but so is everyother person that i talk to. i can not honestly think of one person i know who isnt two faced, no offense guys-but seriously, think about it. when your furious and steaming mad your going to run your mouth without thinking about what your saying or who your with. then after its like, damn what the hell was wrong with me there? i mean, i know im not the only idiot who does it, well hell maybe i am, but it still isnt good, and im not proud.
i guess what this whole thing is about, is that im sorry. im sorry if i hurt anyone of you's, with my words, or actions or anything. i never meant to hurt anyone. i know i might say shit, but so does everyone. i guess i have just been realizing, who my true friends are. but now that i know who those people are, i think of the way i've been toward them, and i cringe. im lucky so many of them stayed with me and by my side. but i also realized, that its time for me to change-for the better. im going to try my best not to do some of the stuff that i am doing now. so once again, im sorry-and i ♥ you all.
i signed up for field hockey today. i figured, i always loved hockey, and since im not a good ice skater i guess ill try the field version, although its not really like ice hockey-at all. i guess im pretty excited about it. theres alot of people who signed up, who i really dont think will follow through with it, which kind of upsets me idk why. i really am going to follow through with this, because i love hockey, and i really need to become active in something instead of being a lazy bum all my life.
i have so many emotions now, that i dont even know how to explain. one minute im happy, the next im sad, and so on and so forth. lately ive been experiencing alot of anger, and i really dont know why. its like every little thing gets to me. and the funny part is, its the littlest things too. wow-maybe i really do need some kind of help.
well i guess im going to go now. maybe ill do some homework for the remaining 30 minutes which should go over real well=\
maybe ill write more later
♥stacyy
im sorry=(
especially to stacey♥