are we back at the beginning? haven't we been here before?
my experience here has been amazing so far..i have learned so much and done so much for myself that i am really proud of...
however, i'm putting up a small front...i'm playing the "i'm all better" card...i want so badly to be better and to be normal that i'm tricking myself...well now thats coming to bite me in the ass. after wednesday night i know i'm not as far as i'd like to be...sure, maybe i'm not acting, but mentally, i'm there...i'm all there baby...
and here i am delving into the firepit...all i want to do is run...i wish i didn't put up such a good fight in the beginning...i thought one thing, and now i'm playing the part of another....i have trapped myself ONCE AGAIN...
and this whole situation verifies the fact that i'm not at the place i thought i was..which i have accepted..i'm not frustrated about that...i'm not upset about that...i just wish i didn't sprint into things so quickly to get myself in an awkward position where someone is BOUND to get hurt...
why do things have to be so simply complicated...so simple, yet so complicated...things are perfect...FINALLY it's what i have always wanted...but i just don't think i'm ready...for anything...
i'm going to be selfish...and i will be okay with that.
i j u s t w a n t t o b e a l o n e
however, i'm putting up a small front...i'm playing the "i'm all better" card...i want so badly to be better and to be normal that i'm tricking myself...well now thats coming to bite me in the ass. after wednesday night i know i'm not as far as i'd like to be...sure, maybe i'm not acting, but mentally, i'm there...i'm all there baby...
and here i am delving into the firepit...all i want to do is run...i wish i didn't put up such a good fight in the beginning...i thought one thing, and now i'm playing the part of another....i have trapped myself ONCE AGAIN...
and this whole situation verifies the fact that i'm not at the place i thought i was..which i have accepted..i'm not frustrated about that...i'm not upset about that...i just wish i didn't sprint into things so quickly to get myself in an awkward position where someone is BOUND to get hurt...
why do things have to be so simply complicated...so simple, yet so complicated...things are perfect...FINALLY it's what i have always wanted...but i just don't think i'm ready...for anything...
i'm going to be selfish...and i will be okay with that.
i j u s t w a n t t o b e a l o n e