Thoughts for 2011...
Hello all,
Everyone else finished up with their New Year posts last week. I'm twelve days behind, limping along in the metaphorical blogging dust.
But since one of my New Year's goals is to stop apologizing or feeling guilty for stupid things, I'm going to press on without the expected "I'm so sorry for being late/not blogging regularly/not having more stimulating posts/blah blah blah." I was working my butt off and spending time with my family so there's really nothing to apologize for. And isn't it more important that I put my best effort into making entertaining books, rather than an entertaining blog? If I have to choose between the two? Yes. I think so.
Yeay! It feels great to shed that mantle of woe. I am free! I am not guilty or shrunken with apologies! 2011 is going to be the year of liberation from old, unproductive ways of thinking!<--Or not. I do still feel a little guilty. And let me tell you why...
NEW YEAR GOAL NUMBER ONE
If I get to MEGAN BERRY 3 in 2011, I get to it. If I don't, I don't.
I promised you all some time back that I would write you a novella to finish up the Megan Berry series and self publish it in ebook format. Razorbill elected not to continue the series in mid 2010 due to concerns that zombies are "trending downwards," and I felt guilty for leaving everyone hanging.
But I honestly had no idea I would be allowed to write a cliff hanger for book 2 if there wasn't every intention of continuing the series until its conclusion. I assumed if the fate of Megan Berry was up in the air, then I would be strongly encouraged to give book 2 a more "this could be the end" conclusion. I was still fairly new in the business, and didn't understand that publishing is constantly in flux, and that my editor might be as in the dark about the fate of book 3 as anyone else.
Bottom line: I didn't know it was going to be canceled. I certainly didn't want the series to be canceled. And I would have been thrilled to write more books for the people who enjoy these stories to enjoy. But instead, I had to seek out other writing contracts in order to support my family.
Just a quick breakdown for anyone who isn't sure how the business works (I apologize if this seems condescending, but I get a lot of emails from people who seem to think that I put these books out on my own, and that I am also capable of producing full length feature films if I put my mind to it.)
How a traditional paperback usually gets to the shelf:
Author writes part (or all) of book.
Agent sells book (or partial, or idea) to publisher.
Publisher gives author money to write the book, and also pays for all production costs involved in making a word document something you can hold in your hand. (Which is expensive and is why a lot of self-published authors go digital instead of paperback. Paper is costly. So for those of you who've written hate mail regarding my decision to put the novella out as an ebook, I can only apologize for not being made of money. Oh...but I'm not apologizing this year. So I'll just flat out tell you I'm not made of money and can't afford to produce a paperback by myself. And also, that hate mail is lame.)
Publisher sells books and--once the author "earns out," or makes back all the money they were given for their advance--then the publisher begins paying the author a certain percentage of their revenues for the book.
So basically, publishers give me money to write, which is important because I write for a living and am presently the primary wage earner in my home since my husband retired. I have to think about how food and clothes are going to be acquired when I choose my writing gigs. Because of that, I'm booked pretty heavily in 2011 with stories I have signed legal contracts to write. I'm going to be writing three full length books this year. That's A LOT of writing--probably over 300,000 words or more--and I really want to make sure that I'm not so over worked that the writing starts to suffer. More than that, I want to take more time to promote my work so that this whole "your series is canceled" thing doesn't happen again. I need to spend more time getting the word out, and that is going to take time away from other things.
Like spare time to work on projects like UNDEAD TO THE WORLD, the novella that will finish up Megan Berry's story. I want Megan to have an ending--I adore Megan--but it may have to wait for awhile. I can't promise I'll get to it in 2011. I will try my best. But I can't promise. I have to attend to my contracted work and also, my health...
Speaking of health...
NEW YEAR GOAL NUMBER TWO
Get off Ambien, a sleeping aid I have been addicted to for nearly four years.
Those of you who read the blog regularly know that I have insomnia and that my doctors encouraged me to take Ambien every night for years to "cure" it. Ambien, however, is not a cure, it's a highly addictive drug. I've been on the stuff so long now that I can't go to sleep without it. Can't. At all. People tell you to take a nap when you're tired, but I can't. I can't because I can't fall asleep--not ever--without a pill. Last year around this time, I tried to get off Ambien and stayed awake for four days. By the end I was having heart palpitations, had lost eight pounds, and was a complete, exhausted wreck incapable of taking care of my kids. My husband took off work for a few days to help me out, but in the end he had to go back to work and I had to function. So I went back on the pill. For 9 months.
I can tell you, however, that it seems like only a month or so ago that I went through that. It was terrible. It was especially terrible to reach out for help to the medical community and have them tell me the addiction was "all in my head."<--not in my head. not at all.
But now, I live in California. I have a new doctor who is committed to helping me get off Ambien and learn how to sleep like a normal person again. I have an acupuncturist and traditional Chinese medical options to explore. And most importantly, my husband is retired and can help me out with the children while I kick this thing once and for all. And I need to kick it. I'm not the kind of person who can psychologically deal with being addicted to something, possibly for the rest of my life. Especially a drug so new that it could cause god knows what kind of side effects.
But getting clean, as they say, won't be easy. I know that for a fact. I may lose days of productivity during this struggle, but I can't stress out about that. This has to happen. In 2011. Go! Fight! Win!!!
Speaking of going...
NEW YEAR GOAL 3
Have an adventure!
In 2010, our family's big adventure was moving cross country with two small children. It was a costly adventure and more about survival than thrive-al. This year, however, I want to go nomad with fun in mind. The hubs and I are saving to drive down to San Diego this summer to visit some friends for the 4th of July weekend, but I'm also dying to do something solo, preferably that will put me in contact with other writers. It's easy to feel isolated in this line of work, and I've been missing my writer support system since our move. So maybe a retreat? Or a convention? I've never been to Dragoncon, but I've heard it's awesome. I'm not sure yet, but plans will be made and perhaps some new friends met!
NEW YEAR GOAL 4
Be a joiner.
I'm not a member of SCBWI. I really should be. So I'm going to join and try to make a few of my local events.
NEW YEAR GOAL 5
More music.
I listened to a lot of new music in 2010--more than any year since I was in high school--and I want the trend to continue. I've loved discovering new musicians, and I'm hoping I'll eventually get inspired enough to pick up my guitar again. Or maybe my son's ukulele. I think I could rock pretty hard on a ukulele.
NEW YEAR GOAL 6
Fewer apologies.
I'm a firm believer in saying you're sorry when the occasion requires, but I tend to apologize too much. I think I'm done with that this year, especially when it comes to apologizing for being a little different. I have a different belief system than a lot of my community, but that's okay. It's also okay to dance and frolic at unexpected moments. (My sons and I get our dance party on wherever the music is. If that happens to be the barber shop, so be it.) It's magical to be alive and I'm not going to apologize for being uninhibited enough to enjoy the magic. *sparkle*
I'm also not going to apologize for occasionally being a stick in the mud. I'm a parent, that's part of my job. I'm also not going to apologize for wanting--and probably acquiring--more tattoos. I love tattoos and there ought to be a plus side to having skin this pale (tattoos look great against fish belly colored skin, don't you know).
NEW YEAR GOAL 7
The year of a dozen new things.
I want 2011 to be the year of a dozen new things. Or at least things that I haven't done in a long time. I want to take a ballet class, go camping, and take a float trip down the river.
NEW YEAR GOAL 8
Read. More.
Pretty self explanatory. I'm going to read more. My goal is 35 books for the year. I've already read two--both awesome!--so I'm off to a good start. (My secret to finding time--reading on the stair climber or elliptical machine. That way I get a workout and a readout at the same time. I'm a big fan of multi-tasking.)
And that's it!
I'm feeling pretty excited about 2011 and my chances of actually achieving these goals. *knock on wood* I'm thrilled with all the books I have coming out this year and excited to share them with my readers, and generally thankful for the fresh start of a new year. I hope you are, too! What are some of your goals? Anyone want to share with the class?
I'll be back later in the week with another 2011-themed post highlighting all my releases for the year. I have THREE books coming out in the next 8 months!! Ahhh! So exciting. And THE LOCKET is less than a month from hitting the shelves. Big times...big times...
All best and happy Wednesday,
Stacey Jay
Everyone else finished up with their New Year posts last week. I'm twelve days behind, limping along in the metaphorical blogging dust.
But since one of my New Year's goals is to stop apologizing or feeling guilty for stupid things, I'm going to press on without the expected "I'm so sorry for being late/not blogging regularly/not having more stimulating posts/blah blah blah." I was working my butt off and spending time with my family so there's really nothing to apologize for. And isn't it more important that I put my best effort into making entertaining books, rather than an entertaining blog? If I have to choose between the two? Yes. I think so.
Yeay! It feels great to shed that mantle of woe. I am free! I am not guilty or shrunken with apologies! 2011 is going to be the year of liberation from old, unproductive ways of thinking!<--Or not. I do still feel a little guilty. And let me tell you why...
NEW YEAR GOAL NUMBER ONE
If I get to MEGAN BERRY 3 in 2011, I get to it. If I don't, I don't.
I promised you all some time back that I would write you a novella to finish up the Megan Berry series and self publish it in ebook format. Razorbill elected not to continue the series in mid 2010 due to concerns that zombies are "trending downwards," and I felt guilty for leaving everyone hanging.
But I honestly had no idea I would be allowed to write a cliff hanger for book 2 if there wasn't every intention of continuing the series until its conclusion. I assumed if the fate of Megan Berry was up in the air, then I would be strongly encouraged to give book 2 a more "this could be the end" conclusion. I was still fairly new in the business, and didn't understand that publishing is constantly in flux, and that my editor might be as in the dark about the fate of book 3 as anyone else.
Bottom line: I didn't know it was going to be canceled. I certainly didn't want the series to be canceled. And I would have been thrilled to write more books for the people who enjoy these stories to enjoy. But instead, I had to seek out other writing contracts in order to support my family.
Just a quick breakdown for anyone who isn't sure how the business works (I apologize if this seems condescending, but I get a lot of emails from people who seem to think that I put these books out on my own, and that I am also capable of producing full length feature films if I put my mind to it.)
How a traditional paperback usually gets to the shelf:
Author writes part (or all) of book.
Agent sells book (or partial, or idea) to publisher.
Publisher gives author money to write the book, and also pays for all production costs involved in making a word document something you can hold in your hand. (Which is expensive and is why a lot of self-published authors go digital instead of paperback. Paper is costly. So for those of you who've written hate mail regarding my decision to put the novella out as an ebook, I can only apologize for not being made of money. Oh...but I'm not apologizing this year. So I'll just flat out tell you I'm not made of money and can't afford to produce a paperback by myself. And also, that hate mail is lame.)
Publisher sells books and--once the author "earns out," or makes back all the money they were given for their advance--then the publisher begins paying the author a certain percentage of their revenues for the book.
So basically, publishers give me money to write, which is important because I write for a living and am presently the primary wage earner in my home since my husband retired. I have to think about how food and clothes are going to be acquired when I choose my writing gigs. Because of that, I'm booked pretty heavily in 2011 with stories I have signed legal contracts to write. I'm going to be writing three full length books this year. That's A LOT of writing--probably over 300,000 words or more--and I really want to make sure that I'm not so over worked that the writing starts to suffer. More than that, I want to take more time to promote my work so that this whole "your series is canceled" thing doesn't happen again. I need to spend more time getting the word out, and that is going to take time away from other things.
Like spare time to work on projects like UNDEAD TO THE WORLD, the novella that will finish up Megan Berry's story. I want Megan to have an ending--I adore Megan--but it may have to wait for awhile. I can't promise I'll get to it in 2011. I will try my best. But I can't promise. I have to attend to my contracted work and also, my health...
Speaking of health...
NEW YEAR GOAL NUMBER TWO
Get off Ambien, a sleeping aid I have been addicted to for nearly four years.
Those of you who read the blog regularly know that I have insomnia and that my doctors encouraged me to take Ambien every night for years to "cure" it. Ambien, however, is not a cure, it's a highly addictive drug. I've been on the stuff so long now that I can't go to sleep without it. Can't. At all. People tell you to take a nap when you're tired, but I can't. I can't because I can't fall asleep--not ever--without a pill. Last year around this time, I tried to get off Ambien and stayed awake for four days. By the end I was having heart palpitations, had lost eight pounds, and was a complete, exhausted wreck incapable of taking care of my kids. My husband took off work for a few days to help me out, but in the end he had to go back to work and I had to function. So I went back on the pill. For 9 months.
I can tell you, however, that it seems like only a month or so ago that I went through that. It was terrible. It was especially terrible to reach out for help to the medical community and have them tell me the addiction was "all in my head."<--not in my head. not at all.
But now, I live in California. I have a new doctor who is committed to helping me get off Ambien and learn how to sleep like a normal person again. I have an acupuncturist and traditional Chinese medical options to explore. And most importantly, my husband is retired and can help me out with the children while I kick this thing once and for all. And I need to kick it. I'm not the kind of person who can psychologically deal with being addicted to something, possibly for the rest of my life. Especially a drug so new that it could cause god knows what kind of side effects.
But getting clean, as they say, won't be easy. I know that for a fact. I may lose days of productivity during this struggle, but I can't stress out about that. This has to happen. In 2011. Go! Fight! Win!!!
Speaking of going...
NEW YEAR GOAL 3
Have an adventure!
In 2010, our family's big adventure was moving cross country with two small children. It was a costly adventure and more about survival than thrive-al. This year, however, I want to go nomad with fun in mind. The hubs and I are saving to drive down to San Diego this summer to visit some friends for the 4th of July weekend, but I'm also dying to do something solo, preferably that will put me in contact with other writers. It's easy to feel isolated in this line of work, and I've been missing my writer support system since our move. So maybe a retreat? Or a convention? I've never been to Dragoncon, but I've heard it's awesome. I'm not sure yet, but plans will be made and perhaps some new friends met!
NEW YEAR GOAL 4
Be a joiner.
I'm not a member of SCBWI. I really should be. So I'm going to join and try to make a few of my local events.
NEW YEAR GOAL 5
More music.
I listened to a lot of new music in 2010--more than any year since I was in high school--and I want the trend to continue. I've loved discovering new musicians, and I'm hoping I'll eventually get inspired enough to pick up my guitar again. Or maybe my son's ukulele. I think I could rock pretty hard on a ukulele.
NEW YEAR GOAL 6
Fewer apologies.
I'm a firm believer in saying you're sorry when the occasion requires, but I tend to apologize too much. I think I'm done with that this year, especially when it comes to apologizing for being a little different. I have a different belief system than a lot of my community, but that's okay. It's also okay to dance and frolic at unexpected moments. (My sons and I get our dance party on wherever the music is. If that happens to be the barber shop, so be it.) It's magical to be alive and I'm not going to apologize for being uninhibited enough to enjoy the magic. *sparkle*
I'm also not going to apologize for occasionally being a stick in the mud. I'm a parent, that's part of my job. I'm also not going to apologize for wanting--and probably acquiring--more tattoos. I love tattoos and there ought to be a plus side to having skin this pale (tattoos look great against fish belly colored skin, don't you know).
NEW YEAR GOAL 7
The year of a dozen new things.
I want 2011 to be the year of a dozen new things. Or at least things that I haven't done in a long time. I want to take a ballet class, go camping, and take a float trip down the river.
NEW YEAR GOAL 8
Read. More.
Pretty self explanatory. I'm going to read more. My goal is 35 books for the year. I've already read two--both awesome!--so I'm off to a good start. (My secret to finding time--reading on the stair climber or elliptical machine. That way I get a workout and a readout at the same time. I'm a big fan of multi-tasking.)
And that's it!
I'm feeling pretty excited about 2011 and my chances of actually achieving these goals. *knock on wood* I'm thrilled with all the books I have coming out this year and excited to share them with my readers, and generally thankful for the fresh start of a new year. I hope you are, too! What are some of your goals? Anyone want to share with the class?
I'll be back later in the week with another 2011-themed post highlighting all my releases for the year. I have THREE books coming out in the next 8 months!! Ahhh! So exciting. And THE LOCKET is less than a month from hitting the shelves. Big times...big times...
All best and happy Wednesday,
Stacey Jay