Thwarted-ness and 5 Annoying Things
Good Thursday.
Or...not so good Thursday...
In urgent news, please note that the April 17th book signing at the West Little Rock Barnes and Noble has been postponed at the request of the bookseller for reasons I can understand though not share here. I will be rescheduling, however, and also showing up to promote MY SO CALLED DEATH at the May 8th Middle School book fair. So yeay.
In less urgent news, no, I did NOT get my tattoo last night because my husband acted like he was chickening out (it would have been his first tattoo) and then asked for the hockey game to be turned on while I was in the bathroom at the place where we were having dinner. We NEVER get out and the fact that he wanted the game on during one of our few date nights just hacked me the heck off. So I may never get his name on my wrist. NEVER! I'm thinking maybe something more hardcore like a skull. That's on fire. And filled with really sharp knives. And an eagle with a snake in its mouth. Or something.
In not at all urgent news, I thought I'd list a few things that are sticking in my craw this morning.
1. Traveling with a baby. Ugh! You need as much crap for two days as you do for ten. My van looks like I'm moving in with Julie Linker for a month, not the weekend. (Yes! I'm going to see Julie! Of Zombie and Tiaras! It's very exciting, even if the reason for the visit is an eye doctor pre-surgery appopintment for 5. Maybe I'll get her name tattooed on my wrist while I'm up there....or a zombie...or a tiara...)
2. I hate ironing my stupid hair. It takes forever and I could be ACCOMPLISHING something with my life. (But no, My Old Man has to have this stupid long flowing hair crap. He'd better watch it with the hockey at restaurants or I'm going to get a buzz cut. In addition to the skull tattoo.)
Also, I look like the lost member of the 1980's version of Def Leppard without the flatiron so...yeah. There went 30 minutes of my morning. (See pic below if you are too young to remember Def Leppard. Now smack yourself in the face for being so young and uneducated about 80's hair bands. Go ahead, do it. I'll wait....)
3. Make-up is also annoying. But if I don't put it on, my under eye circles are so dark people ask me if I'm sick or upset all day, so I'm going to go put it on. But I'm not happy about it. I am annoyed about it. That's why it made the annoyed list.
4. "Women's" morning news programs (which I had on for noise while I flatironed the stupid hair). Shoot me. Please. No, better yet, shoot all of the people on The View, including the studio audience for cheering for that hot mess of dumb. Dumb! Please, ladies, please try not to be so dumb. It's very frustrating for the rest of us who are a little less dumb.
5. My downstairs neighbor, who I swear stands on a chair in his laundry room and chain smokes just so the second hand puke scent will float up through my laundry room and into my apartment. You suck, dude. Go buy some Nicorette or something. Or drink your carcinogens like the rest of we caring people.
And now. I go. To finish doing the things that annoy me and get ready for a trip and start a synopsis (which I find less annoying than hair...if that tells you anything).
Have a great weekend!
Stacey Jay
Or...not so good Thursday...
In urgent news, please note that the April 17th book signing at the West Little Rock Barnes and Noble has been postponed at the request of the bookseller for reasons I can understand though not share here. I will be rescheduling, however, and also showing up to promote MY SO CALLED DEATH at the May 8th Middle School book fair. So yeay.
In less urgent news, no, I did NOT get my tattoo last night because my husband acted like he was chickening out (it would have been his first tattoo) and then asked for the hockey game to be turned on while I was in the bathroom at the place where we were having dinner. We NEVER get out and the fact that he wanted the game on during one of our few date nights just hacked me the heck off. So I may never get his name on my wrist. NEVER! I'm thinking maybe something more hardcore like a skull. That's on fire. And filled with really sharp knives. And an eagle with a snake in its mouth. Or something.
In not at all urgent news, I thought I'd list a few things that are sticking in my craw this morning.
1. Traveling with a baby. Ugh! You need as much crap for two days as you do for ten. My van looks like I'm moving in with Julie Linker for a month, not the weekend. (Yes! I'm going to see Julie! Of Zombie and Tiaras! It's very exciting, even if the reason for the visit is an eye doctor pre-surgery appopintment for 5. Maybe I'll get her name tattooed on my wrist while I'm up there....or a zombie...or a tiara...)
2. I hate ironing my stupid hair. It takes forever and I could be ACCOMPLISHING something with my life. (But no, My Old Man has to have this stupid long flowing hair crap. He'd better watch it with the hockey at restaurants or I'm going to get a buzz cut. In addition to the skull tattoo.)
Also, I look like the lost member of the 1980's version of Def Leppard without the flatiron so...yeah. There went 30 minutes of my morning. (See pic below if you are too young to remember Def Leppard. Now smack yourself in the face for being so young and uneducated about 80's hair bands. Go ahead, do it. I'll wait....)
3. Make-up is also annoying. But if I don't put it on, my under eye circles are so dark people ask me if I'm sick or upset all day, so I'm going to go put it on. But I'm not happy about it. I am annoyed about it. That's why it made the annoyed list.
4. "Women's" morning news programs (which I had on for noise while I flatironed the stupid hair). Shoot me. Please. No, better yet, shoot all of the people on The View, including the studio audience for cheering for that hot mess of dumb. Dumb! Please, ladies, please try not to be so dumb. It's very frustrating for the rest of us who are a little less dumb.
5. My downstairs neighbor, who I swear stands on a chair in his laundry room and chain smokes just so the second hand puke scent will float up through my laundry room and into my apartment. You suck, dude. Go buy some Nicorette or something. Or drink your carcinogens like the rest of we caring people.
And now. I go. To finish doing the things that annoy me and get ready for a trip and start a synopsis (which I find less annoying than hair...if that tells you anything).
Have a great weekend!
Stacey Jay