(no subject)
It's that time of year again.
Aside from the stress and the cloudy vision, things are going well enough. I'm still hanging out with that same boy with whom I had the srs conversation about a month ago. It's weird, I like him and he says he likes me, and we have fun sleepovers and shit, but he's got so much baggage. I feel like every time we hang out, we take two steps forward, and then we chill for a day, and the next time we get together it's like we took a step backwards. Always baby steps, always dipping our toes into the pool water. And this time it isn't me. I would genuinely like to spend a good amount of time with this person. He's cute and funny and smart and I like his cats and his bed more than mine. I hate feeling like I have to be cautious. But I'm not looking to get hurt any more. It's six weeks today since we started spending time together, and Sunday is six years since my mom died. Now is not the time to get involved with anything or anyone. Now is not the time to replace one emotional sinkhole for another.
Just it would be nice if a boy would be okay with my toothbrush in his bathroom, and if I could talk to my mother one more time.
Aside from the stress and the cloudy vision, things are going well enough. I'm still hanging out with that same boy with whom I had the srs conversation about a month ago. It's weird, I like him and he says he likes me, and we have fun sleepovers and shit, but he's got so much baggage. I feel like every time we hang out, we take two steps forward, and then we chill for a day, and the next time we get together it's like we took a step backwards. Always baby steps, always dipping our toes into the pool water. And this time it isn't me. I would genuinely like to spend a good amount of time with this person. He's cute and funny and smart and I like his cats and his bed more than mine. I hate feeling like I have to be cautious. But I'm not looking to get hurt any more. It's six weeks today since we started spending time together, and Sunday is six years since my mom died. Now is not the time to get involved with anything or anyone. Now is not the time to replace one emotional sinkhole for another.
Just it would be nice if a boy would be okay with my toothbrush in his bathroom, and if I could talk to my mother one more time.