(no subject)
I wanna go home. Now. I fucking hate Frankfort. I'd rather be anywhere right now than sitting here depressing myself to the point where I contemplate the reasons why I am still here. I barely have friends anymore, I'm being a complete and total bitch, my parents depress me all the time... I can't see why people like me, I'm an annoying, fat little poser. I miss Greg so bad right now... I haven't seen him since early February... I think I really did love him... That or my feelings for him were uber-strong. He was just so much more different than anyone I had ever been with, he actually enjoyed my company. He sang to me... Sometimes we just talked all night till Nathan woke up. I miss that. Sometimes I wish I would have gotten pregnant by him... Then maybe he wouldn't have gotten kicked out like that. ::sighs:: Figures... Everything that seems to be going good in my life always goes awry. I can never have anything that's mine, just mine. Nobody ever says I have something they want, cause I have nothing to begin with... I want something....
Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day -- and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel -- to take flight --
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed me shore and he took my pearl --
And left an empty shell of me
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
_Fiona Apple - Sullen Girl
You'll never see -- the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow -- the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie
You'll never touch -- these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown -- to you
You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie
_Fiona Apple - Never Is A Promise
Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day -- and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel -- to take flight --
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed me shore and he took my pearl --
And left an empty shell of me
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
_Fiona Apple - Sullen Girl
You'll never see -- the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow -- the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie
You'll never touch -- these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown -- to you
You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie
_Fiona Apple - Never Is A Promise