Daddy Dear: This is My Secret

[stableinsanity]

Daddy dear, I wish I could tell you my secret,
but alas, I fear you will not keep it,
you will rip my heart open, tear it to shreds,
I horrifically imagine it all in my head.

Daddy, all I wanted was for you to hold me,
to not get mad; through my eyes you'd see,
but that time'll never come, I've already failed,
long gone is the daughter you once praised and hailed.

Like a waterfall, my spirit breaks free,
but you'll never know the real, true me,
because unacceptance is so consequental,
and here, clearly I am going mental.

I feel so ashamed, so dirty and weak,
all energy is lost; can't walk on my feet,
Daddy, I know what happened is a sin,
but can I ever forgive myself within?

They say it's unhealthy to hold on tight,
but I'm clinging to life with all my might,
can't stand the truth, can't face the pain,
critically, daddy, I'm going insane.

Please save me, I'm drowning, deeper by far,
I can't hold on, this is too big a scar,
how can I tell you without begging, pleading,
for your understanding is all I'll be needing.

How can I ever laugh and play once more,
when all my innocence was lost out the door?
How can I comprehend this unfair mistake,
when all these years, it's myself I've faked?

Daddy, please help me, please forgive,
for continuous years, this secret I live,
I want to be normal, I want to be free,
but you need to accept this shameful me.