Here's my resolution : I'm letting Go
Senior year- it's not as cracked up as I thought it would be. I thought last year sucked. My health sucks, my parents decided to get divorced, my grandpa died, but I had my friends.
I lived in a house with 50 women. I had no space, no alone time. I was crowded. But I had a get-away. I went to Chad's. He and John where there for me through a lot last year. When my parents split up last year I lived there for days. I needed away from 50 women and I needed the two guys in my life that got me. what happened along the way?
I spent the summer here, in Eugene. I lived with chad, we shared a room. Things were great I got the one opportunity to Live with my best friend. I can't tell if he changed. or i changed. or if it ruined our friendship. Things just are not the same. I feel so alone these days, I don't know if its the fact that I don't have to go over to his place for a hide-away because I live on my own now. But Our relationship is not the same, and I miss it. A lot. I don't know if its the fact that I became close with his brother. I don't know what it is but I miss my best friend. A lot.
This year has just been different. I'm not used to not having my friends upstairs or down the hall. Im not used to the quiet all the time. I miss having the study outside of my room. But at the same time i feel like I've grown up. I feel like I've moved on from Chi Omega. Granted I know that mansion, the girls, the sisterhood will always hold a place in my heart, its just not what it used to be. I don't know if its the fact that I'm growing up thats changing my point of view on all of these things or if its just my view on life. I see my friends and their senior pledge class living up their senior year and going to the bars and doing all of these fun things, but here i am alone in my apartment not doing any of these things.
I guess I've always felt like i'm missing out on something and I always try to make an effort to change it. TO change my actions, but I don't think I ever actually pull through, or when I do someone else falls through.
Things last year with my friends just seemed so perfect. I had this great one-on-one relationship with chad. I had Lbby, Scott, john and Jake. The five of us were always together. going on trips doing everything together.
I miss the late night study sessions at the libs with john and chad. I miss the movies on the couch. I miss palm springs. I miss the beach. I miss the talks, and the walks. I miss everything about last year, but the pain.
I'm Letting it all go.
I lived in a house with 50 women. I had no space, no alone time. I was crowded. But I had a get-away. I went to Chad's. He and John where there for me through a lot last year. When my parents split up last year I lived there for days. I needed away from 50 women and I needed the two guys in my life that got me. what happened along the way?
I spent the summer here, in Eugene. I lived with chad, we shared a room. Things were great I got the one opportunity to Live with my best friend. I can't tell if he changed. or i changed. or if it ruined our friendship. Things just are not the same. I feel so alone these days, I don't know if its the fact that I don't have to go over to his place for a hide-away because I live on my own now. But Our relationship is not the same, and I miss it. A lot. I don't know if its the fact that I became close with his brother. I don't know what it is but I miss my best friend. A lot.
This year has just been different. I'm not used to not having my friends upstairs or down the hall. Im not used to the quiet all the time. I miss having the study outside of my room. But at the same time i feel like I've grown up. I feel like I've moved on from Chi Omega. Granted I know that mansion, the girls, the sisterhood will always hold a place in my heart, its just not what it used to be. I don't know if its the fact that I'm growing up thats changing my point of view on all of these things or if its just my view on life. I see my friends and their senior pledge class living up their senior year and going to the bars and doing all of these fun things, but here i am alone in my apartment not doing any of these things.
I guess I've always felt like i'm missing out on something and I always try to make an effort to change it. TO change my actions, but I don't think I ever actually pull through, or when I do someone else falls through.
Things last year with my friends just seemed so perfect. I had this great one-on-one relationship with chad. I had Lbby, Scott, john and Jake. The five of us were always together. going on trips doing everything together.
I miss the late night study sessions at the libs with john and chad. I miss the movies on the couch. I miss palm springs. I miss the beach. I miss the talks, and the walks. I miss everything about last year, but the pain.
I'm Letting it all go.