(no subject)
I guess I could update now. You know, for real. I guess I can start bitching about people falling in love or whatever and ignoring their friends, but I'm not. Or I could start talking behind peoples back, but I'm not. I could also whine about some kids that hate my friends and about our on going feud, but I'm not.
I guess I'll I can say is that nowadays my life feels like a roller coaster. All these emotions coming and going so fast that I don't know how to act anymore. I feel like I'm acting the same but I know I'm not. I never used to act like this, but I can't help it now. I should control it but I don't do this to myself. People do. Maybe it's teen angst. Should I start listening to Kurt Cobain or something, is this a sign? I don't know, but it should stop soon. I like the old me, my emotions meaning nothing to me, never being affected by anything.
Maybe this isn't what I should feel about this whole change. Maybe I should like it, I should like this new me, or just accept it because I can't do anything now.
I kind of want to know, why be lonely? What are they good traits to be single? Hopefully my friends feel more than just infatuation.
I have a reason why I started drinking though. I shouldn't really say that on here because obviously this isn't a real journal. But I do.
I might get me a good past time for me too. Maybe reading or something productive like a collection. But maybe just a teenage hobbie, like video games or like start a gang. Hmm. I think it just might be video games, cause I'm good at them and I like playing them. Kinda makes sense. I'd like to write a book. That would be nice. I miss my gameboy.
I think I should get a job, but I'm still iffy about it. I'd like to work in Bethel cause it's not out of my reach but there's nothing interesting to work at.
I've kinda decided about my future. But just a minor part. I kind of want to live in a city. Not this small village bullshit. I always like going down to Newport and hanging out, watching the people there. They seem to like living there. All the pretty lights, gorgeous river at night, the big city across the river, it's just nice, the downside is the racism violence. I dont' think I could get away from that.
I guess I'll I can say is that nowadays my life feels like a roller coaster. All these emotions coming and going so fast that I don't know how to act anymore. I feel like I'm acting the same but I know I'm not. I never used to act like this, but I can't help it now. I should control it but I don't do this to myself. People do. Maybe it's teen angst. Should I start listening to Kurt Cobain or something, is this a sign? I don't know, but it should stop soon. I like the old me, my emotions meaning nothing to me, never being affected by anything.
Maybe this isn't what I should feel about this whole change. Maybe I should like it, I should like this new me, or just accept it because I can't do anything now.
I kind of want to know, why be lonely? What are they good traits to be single? Hopefully my friends feel more than just infatuation.
I have a reason why I started drinking though. I shouldn't really say that on here because obviously this isn't a real journal. But I do.
I might get me a good past time for me too. Maybe reading or something productive like a collection. But maybe just a teenage hobbie, like video games or like start a gang. Hmm. I think it just might be video games, cause I'm good at them and I like playing them. Kinda makes sense. I'd like to write a book. That would be nice. I miss my gameboy.
I think I should get a job, but I'm still iffy about it. I'd like to work in Bethel cause it's not out of my reach but there's nothing interesting to work at.
I've kinda decided about my future. But just a minor part. I kind of want to live in a city. Not this small village bullshit. I always like going down to Newport and hanging out, watching the people there. They seem to like living there. All the pretty lights, gorgeous river at night, the big city across the river, it's just nice, the downside is the racism violence. I dont' think I could get away from that.