Blogging by Request: Solarbird
solarbird: TUTORIAL: Killing everyone to make Wordpress plugins upgrade over SSH. IT'S THE ONLY FUCKING WAY, apparently.
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And so, at last, everyone else on Earth was dead. Solarbird raised her eyes from the last pile of corpses and examined the cursed stone and creaking metal of the Wordpress.
The Wordpress! Constructed from the ruins of the Tower of Babel itself!
The Wordpress! Thirsty for flesh! Wailing for blood!
The Wordpress! Groaning with the agony of a thousand failed, half-dead plugins stitched to its guts!
Solarbird lowered the torch to the final heap of bodies and stepped back from the rising flames. Would it work? Had the killing been enough? Also the fucking. There had been fucking. Mostly killing, though. Wait, was the Wordpress moving?
Solarbird stared in awe as a thousand plugins squirmed as one and began to sing. She checked her blog. It had worked! The plugins had upgraded!
Eagerly, Solarbird looked up her blog hits.
Zero visitors.
Well, shoot.
---
And so, at last, everyone else on Earth was dead. Solarbird raised her eyes from the last pile of corpses and examined the cursed stone and creaking metal of the Wordpress.
The Wordpress! Constructed from the ruins of the Tower of Babel itself!
The Wordpress! Thirsty for flesh! Wailing for blood!
The Wordpress! Groaning with the agony of a thousand failed, half-dead plugins stitched to its guts!
Solarbird lowered the torch to the final heap of bodies and stepped back from the rising flames. Would it work? Had the killing been enough? Also the fucking. There had been fucking. Mostly killing, though. Wait, was the Wordpress moving?
Solarbird stared in awe as a thousand plugins squirmed as one and began to sing. She checked her blog. It had worked! The plugins had upgraded!
Eagerly, Solarbird looked up her blog hits.
Zero visitors.
Well, shoot.