Ha ha...My pettiness makes me laugh.
My ex used to tell me I was too judgemental. More specifically, he used to get angry that I thought his friends were all ambitionless losers (THEY ARE, OMG.) Since breaking up with him, I've decided to stop pulling my punches with stupid people. Since essentially I only have a MySpace profile because he has one, I was going to delete it...but since I have more friends there than he does I decided instead to change my "Who I'd like to meet" section from this:
I don't know...people with aspirations...who can spell? ...Is that so much to ask?
Which used to piss my ex off, (because his friends are all stuck in our hometown, saddled with bastard children and CAN'T SPELL.)
...to this much more unveiled jab:
Before you open your mouth in my presence, know this: I'm one of the most judgmental people you'll ever meet. (But hey, at least I admit it.) Don't like gay people? You're an idiot. Think "because God says so" is an intelligent and effective argument? Shut up. Still bitching about your dead-end job in your dead-end town because you never went to college and decided to have a baby instead? Stop embarrassing yourself. I'm a former Presidential Scholar and Cum Laude graduate who can change motor oil and use a reciprocating saw; if you find that intimidating, don't talk to me. A lot of people like me. Some people don't. My success is not based on whether or not you agree with my opinions that gay marriage should be legal, healthcare should be free, consistent spelling and grammar mistakes should be punishable by a fine or jail time and fundamentalist Christians should be fed to lions. (Psst. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but if you can't figure out which parts of what I say are meant tongue-in-cheek and which parts are meant with all sincerity...we probably wouldn't make very good friends, anyway.)
I don't know...people with aspirations...who can spell? ...Is that so much to ask?
Which used to piss my ex off, (because his friends are all stuck in our hometown, saddled with bastard children and CAN'T SPELL.)
...to this much more unveiled jab:
Before you open your mouth in my presence, know this: I'm one of the most judgmental people you'll ever meet. (But hey, at least I admit it.) Don't like gay people? You're an idiot. Think "because God says so" is an intelligent and effective argument? Shut up. Still bitching about your dead-end job in your dead-end town because you never went to college and decided to have a baby instead? Stop embarrassing yourself. I'm a former Presidential Scholar and Cum Laude graduate who can change motor oil and use a reciprocating saw; if you find that intimidating, don't talk to me. A lot of people like me. Some people don't. My success is not based on whether or not you agree with my opinions that gay marriage should be legal, healthcare should be free, consistent spelling and grammar mistakes should be punishable by a fine or jail time and fundamentalist Christians should be fed to lions. (Psst. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but if you can't figure out which parts of what I say are meant tongue-in-cheek and which parts are meant with all sincerity...we probably wouldn't make very good friends, anyway.)