"Cleansing" - 21 JS fic ch. 10
Title: Cleansing (ch. 10)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Tom/OCs, Doug/OC, Judy, Ioki, Margaret Hanson, OCs
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, rape, angst
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Finally! It's long, so hopefully it'll hold you over until the next one, which may be awhile. Also hope it's good enough....
Link to chapter 9: here
Chapter Ten
****
He was not sure how, but Tom knew someone else was in the room with him without even having opened his eyes. His hearing, he thought, was not spectacular or anything, yet there was the very slightest sound of movement to the left of him. The person, whoever it was, was not moving whatsoever; Tom only realized he was not alone from the faint noise of the person breathing. Cautiously, as to not cause any unneeded pain, he slowly let his eyelids flutter open and glanced to his left. It was a male nurse from what Tom could see, judging by the blue scrubs he wore, and his attention had been focused on the heart monitor and IV bags before Tom had awoken. The way he now looked at the young officer made Hanson somewhat uncomfortable. There was something familiar about him, but Hanson could not figure it out. Even though he felt uneasy, he knew he had to trust this man anyway because he could not vocalize any sort of concern or do anything.
“I see you’re making a recovery, Tom,” the man said indifferently.
Hanson felt what little color there was showing on his face drain away and suddenly felt incredibly nauseous. That voice. That voice from Hell. He knew it well; he had heard it every day for two weeks.
“You look scared, Tommy,” Derick went on from observing the radical hysteria in Hanson’s dark eyes. “You’re certainly very lucky to be here, you know that? If things had gone as they were supposed to, you’d still be lying in that field, forgotten and decomposing.” He saw Hanson’s eyes flicker to the right, finding that the door was closed. “Nobody will bother us for the time being, I can promise you that.”
Derick removed the sheets covering Tom’s thin frame and tossed them to the floor. It was not until he felt a cold hand grab his flaccid member that Tom began blinking away tears. The nineteen-year old groped Hanson’s cock unabashedly and frequently took to fondling the cop’s testicles gently. The fingers rubbed over the few burns located on his genitals, making him grimace due to the soreness and the lingering ache created by the wounds. But the digits knew exactly how to handle him in order to take his mind off of the pain and supply him with constant ripples of pleasure - pleasure he desperately wished he could not feel.
“Why are you crying, Tommy? Aren’t you liking this?”
Tom shook his head a little, being the single way he could answer the question.
“That’s odd because I can clearly see and feel you getting hard - a definite sign that you are. You should be ashamed of yourself. Absolutely filthy, you are. You should be glad I’m doing this for you because there won’t be anybody who would want to touch a worthless piece of shit like you now.”
The young man’s eyes closed as infinite humiliation filled him.
He despised himself for letting his body respond “positively” to the intimate caresses. He wanted nothing more than for the inappropriate act to end.
“Go ahead,” Derick encouraged after several minutes. “Come for me, Tom; I know you want to. The evidence is already leaking onto my hand.”
A minute later, Tom trembled from the tingling, astounding sensations of orgasm. He kept his eyes tightly shut as he released his seed to coat the other male’s fingers.
The amused laugh he heard made him wholly appalled with himself and significantly embarrassed.
“Good boy. I appreciate the cooperation.”
Derick retracted his hands from Tom’s body, surveyed them for a moment curiously, and shrugged as he made up his mind; he wiped the result of Tom’s climax on the cop’s face and gown. Hanson had no time to think of how dirty he felt, for he grew wary and more concerned about what the teen was planning on next. His tired, dilated eyes stared at the other man, soon focusing on Derick’s hands. They had moved to a place on his arm where an IV was stuck into him. In one quick motion, the tape keeping it in place was ripped off; the needle was plucked from his vein seconds later. He winced from the sharp sting the action caused, but before he had time to process what had happened, Derick was pulling out another one and another. The teenager left only one untouched.
“Now for the fun part. You remember how good it feels, don’t you?” he asked with a smirk.
He carefully maneuvered onto the bed between Hanson’s legs and pushed the hospital gown up to the officer’s waist. Hanson merely lay still, weeping silently as his hips were lifted just enough for a pillow to slide under him. The movement of his legs being separated more caused him a good deal of distress, yet it was nothing compared to the agony that overwhelmed him a minute later from Derick penetrating him with hardly any lubrication. He wanted to cry out, to scream for help, but the oxygen tube in his throat prevented him from making any sort of noise.
The beeping of the monitor increased in speed as Tom’s heart pounded faster from the fear, anxiety, and anguish he had. The teen was in no way trying to be gentle. He pumped fully in and out of Tom’s broken body with terrible force, sighing in pleasure from the feel of Tom’s tense, tightening muscles. Numerous times he punched Hanson’s stomach and right knee, the latter blinding the young cop with searing pain. When the teen struck his left wrist, Hanson completely blacked out for approximately twenty seconds.
“You’re the perfect slut, Tommy,” Derick breathed into his ear. “You’d be the perfect whore if you started charging. Either way, you’re the easiest person I’ve ever fucked.”
Tom gazed at the male above him with glassy, unbelievably sorrowful eyes and did not see any pity or mercy in the teen’s expression.
Fuller was wrong. I’ll never get away. I’ll never be safe. This is what I’m supposed to do now, who I’m supposed to be. I’m not meant to be saved from them.
After ten minutes Derick finally ejaculated inside of Tom and grinned deviously at the powerless, distraught man under him. He clambered over Tom to get up and gave him one last wicked look before exiting the room. Not a second later, Travis entered and shut the door behind him.
Hanson focused on the ceiling above him as Travis used his body for sexual release just as his friend had done. When Travis finished with him after fifteen minutes, he did not bother lowering the hospital gown to cover Tom’s genitals, and he detached the tube of the ventilator from the one residing in Hanson’s throat and left, leaving the door open.
****
“Tom? Tom? Can you open your eyes for me?”
The words were vague and jumbled, but he could discern “open” and “eyes” from the question. He felt a hand rest upon his right shoulder, and instinctively, he jerked away from it, his brown eyes opening wide with terror.
“Hey, hey, calm down, Tom. It’s alright,” Dr. Landen soothed. “Whoever hurt you isn’t here anymore.”
Frantically, Hanson looked around the room to confirm that the man was not lying. The statement proved true, and he averted his gaze to focus on the physician’s face.
“You had us worried; we lost you there for a little while. Are you feeling any severe pain?”
Hanson shook his head ever so slightly.
“The IV’s are back in place and we put you on the ventilator again because you weren’t getting a sufficient amount of oxygen, but I feel that we can take you off of it now and just use an oxygen mask if you feel short of breath, okay?”
A little nod was the reply.
“I need you to tell me the truth now, alright? Did this person who came in here rape you?”
Hanson closed his eyes and refused to answer.
“Tom? I need to know whether the small amount of semen on the sheets is theirs or perhaps yours. Is it theirs?”
Reluctantly, he shook his head.
“Did they engage in intercourse with you?”
The water that had become so familiar to his eyes began seeping out from the corners of them in droplets. Feeling utterly ashamed, he nodded.
“Do you know if he used a condom? Shake your head if he didn’t and nod if he did.”
There was a pause as Hanson tried to remember; it was slowly growing apparent to him that his memory was nowhere near as good as it had once been. After a moment, he shook his head.
“Okay. What I’m going to do is see if there are any traces of semen still present in the anus that can be used to determine who it was. But first, I’ll disconnect you from the respirator, we’ll get you changed into a clean gown and move you to the other bed, and then I’ll get a sample, alright?”
Hanson let his eyelids drift open to stare at Landen’s kind face, and Landen took it that he understood. Once the connecting part was unhooked, Tom was instructed to blow out in order to remove the tube from his throat. The action made him cough hoarsely several times when it was taken out. He was told not to speak for a little while, though he did not plan to anyway; there was nothing to say.
With careful conduct, two male nurses moved and settled him with IV’s and all on the other bed before they gently undressed him. They eased a clean gown onto him and drew the privacy curtain as Dr. Landen took a seat at the end of the bed, armed with latex gloves and what seemed to Tom like an extra long Q-tip in one hand.
“Okay, Tom. I’ll try to make this as quick and painless as I can. There’s no need to feel embarrassed or anything like that.”
Unhurriedly and delicately, Landen bended and lifted Tom’s left leg before pushing it away from the other leg in order to separate them more. Tom winced and emitted a quiet whimper.
“Doing great, Tom,” Landen commented and leisurely, he started to inch the ‘Q-tip’ inside of Tom. Immediately, the young officer went tense, causing the doctor to wait a couple of minutes before Hanson was relaxed enough. The object made its way into him halfway then twisted and cautiously scraped the sides of his muscles. He inhaled sharply at the sensation, discovering just how sore he was and how much Derick had hurt him.
“Almost done, Tom. You’re doing fine.”
Less than a minute later, the prodding instrument was removed. Landen placed it into a glass tube, capped a lid on it, and set it aside. Demonstrating immense care, he lowered and straightened Tom’s leg to rest down by the other.
“All done,” he announced as he pulled the bed sheets up to cover Tom from the waist down. “You did great. Get some rest now, and I’ll be in to check on you later.”
“Thank you,” he voiced in nothing more than a whisper, taking more energy than he thought it would.
Landen gave him a caring smile before exiting the room. Tom grasped the covers with his right hand and brought them up to his chin. It was the only way to lessen the feeling of being completely exposed.
For thirty minutes, he merely stared at the ceiling, listening to the heart monitor in the otherwise silent room. He glanced out the window, smiling a little at the sight of snow falling, and then let his eyes close.
****
“Doug? Pick up the phone; it’s Judy. If you’re there, please answer. Tom’s awake now and doing alright, but something happened to him last night. Two of Danny’s accomplices came and paid him a visit and raped him. No one heard anything or suspected them because they were dressed in hospital scrubs, but we’re sure they’re caught on one of the security cameras; Tom would then have to identify them, plus we’ll have more evidence once the results come back from the semen samples Dr. Landen was able to get. Look, Doug, from what I know, Tom’s pretty distraught and shaken up over it and I think it’d be really good for him if you’d come down here to see him, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Just remember how hard you tried to find him and how you stayed with him for days while he was in a coma; it’d be a sad thing if you abandoned him now.”
Doug stopped the machine, rewound the tape, and played the message again. He wanted so much to just race out of his apartment door and rush to the hospital, but he knew he did not have the courage to face his partner yet. Tom surely had to hate him for not saving him as he had promised; plus, Tom had to remember what he had done to him, and he was not prepared to deal with the confrontation.
After listening to Judy’s voice one more time, he headed upstairs to his already occupied bed and let the woman put her arm around his waist. With a heavy sigh, he worked on pushing away all thoughts of Tom from his mind.
****
“Hey, Tom,” Judy greeted warmly as she came to stand at the side of the officer’s bed.
Hanson turned his head slightly to gaze up at her, his whole body relaxing just from her presence. “Hey, Jude,” he replied somewhat hoarsely.
“How do you feel?”
“Well, how do I look?”
She gave a small laugh and shook her head. “Not so hot.”
“That’s about how I feel,” he stated with a little smile. “They pumped me full of pain meds, so I’m not hurting all that much at the moment.”
“That’s good.”
“Whatever they’re giving me….Something’s making me really tired all the time.”
“Well, you do need to get plenty of rest.”
“Yeah, plus there’s not much to do when I’m awake anyway. TV, but that’s about it.”
“I’ll try and come by whenever I can to keep you company. I’m sure Harry and even Booker will do the same.”
Tom knew there was another name missing, though it would not come to mind. “What about….-”
“Doug?”
“Doug, yeah.”
Judy sighed and glanced down at the floor nervously. “I don’t know what’s going on with him, Tom. He was here practically every day while you were on life support, but now it’s like he doesn’t want anything to do with you.”
Tom looked away and muttered a quiet “oh,” his expression ridden with disappointment. He felt a sudden pang in his chest, and he knew it had nothing to do with his physical condition. Judy bit her lip, regretting having told the truth, and attempted to find something to say to break the gloomy air.
“Look, Tom, that’s just what I think from the way he’s been acting lately, but it may not be anything like that. Give him a couple of days; I’ll bet he’ll come to see you.”
Tom inhaled a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then released it slowly. He put on a forced smile and said, “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Tom-”
“Really, it’s not.”
“Miss Hoffs?”
Both averted their gazes to the door to find Dr. Landen.
“Can I speak with you for a moment?” he asked.
“Sure.”
Tom observed the two out in the hallway, discussing what looked to be important, for a minute or so before letting his eyelids close and dozing off. A short time later, he felt a hand shaking him awake and Judy’s voice saying his name.
“What?” he asked drowsily, unable to open his eyes more than half-way.
“Do the names Derick Peterson and Travis Felton sound familiar?”
He waited a moment as he thought on it before answering, “No. I’ve never heard of them. Why?”
Judy looked down briefly, sighed, and met Tom’s exhausted eyes with her own. “The test results came back from the samples Dr. Landen took, and they identified Derick and Travis as the men who raped you last night.”
Tom’s face flushed a light crimson from embarrassment and mortification. He turned his head shamefully away from her to stare out the window at the cloudy day. He clenched his teeth and started blinking frequently; he was determined not to cry.
“Were they part of the five who kidnapped you? Tom?”
The young man nodded his head reluctantly.
“But you didn’t know their names?”
“They never said them,” he replied in a wavering, soft voice. “They never called each other by their names and never showed their faces. The only one I knew was Danny Benton.”
“Would you be able to identify Derick and Travis if you saw them?”
“Yeah, I could identify them. Look, why don’t we just forget about it instead, okay?”
“What? Tom, that’s ridiculous. You were raped; that’s a serious offense.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he asked sharply and stared at her testily.
“Then why would you just let it go like that?”
“Because I want to forget,” he choked out, no longer being capable of withholding his tears. “I just want it to go away. I don’t want to be forced to think about it more than I already do.”
“Tom….You’re really thinking about letting it go? Let these scum bags walk free from all the horrible things they did to you? If that’s what you truly want, I’ll go and tell Fuller right now that we no longer have a case. But I know you, Tom. You’re one who fights hard for justice for those who have been wronged, yet you’re not willing to do that same courtesy for yourself?”
“Judy….I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to decide anything right away. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”
“I promise.”
Judy smiled and gently grasped Tom’s right hand. She did not say anything as he wept almost silently, but merely stroked his hair delicately and occasionally wiped the moist droplets away with her thumb.
Fifteen minutes later Tom was asleep, and Judy kissed his forehead tenderly before quietly leaving the room.
****
Another pillow had been placed behind him in order to prop him up a little more to better see the television, which was strapped to a platform bolted to the wall. Though his eyes were staring at the screen, he found it difficult to actually focus and figure out what, exactly, he was watching. He did not much care to anyway; it was on simply for the sound of something other than the beeping heart monitor and the noise of footsteps constantly coming from the hallway. From what he could tell, every show was Christmas themed, and he wondered if he had missed the holiday while being held captive; he had no idea what day of the month or week it was. Everything had blended together during his solitude to the point where he was not sure whether it was morning or night.
At the moment, Hanson felt fascinatingly calm and unmotivated to turn the channel from what he perceived as a stupid soap opera. His mind was foggy as to why he was so tranquil, yet he knew there was a good chance of it being the result from the shot he was given not ten minutes ago. He had woken up, shouting madly, at the touch of someone’s hand on his left knee and had begun to thrash about in an attempt to get away. The unimaginable terror he had drowned out any pain he would have otherwise felt. All he could recall after that was a number of people running into the room, being held down, and then less than a minute later, he felt enormously at ease.
His eyes were void of any emotion as if he was daydreaming, and he did not notice the person who had entered the room until she was standing at the foot of his bed. The sight of his mother sparked life into his dark, somber orbs, and they rapidly started brimming with tears. Hers appeared to be doing the same, and two water droplets escaped to slide down her cheeks to confirm it. Even though she was beaming happily, there was an air of nervousness about her.
“Hi, mom,” he whispered with a weary, relieved smile.
“Hi, Tommy,” she answered equally as quiet. She cleared her throat before asking a little louder, “How are you feeling?”
With a shrug, he said, “Fine right now, but then everything starts hurting so bad. I wish they could give me something that can constantly numb me.”
“The doctor mentioned they had to sedate you? Why? What happened?”
“Nothing. I, um….I was just startled, I guess. I’m alright now.” He took note of her awkwardness and began to grow apprehensive in response. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. But Tom, I….I have to know.”
“Know what?”
She took a step forward as if wanting to move closer to where his head lay, but she stopped when she was at his waist’s side. “You had….sex with those men-”
“I had no choice,” he interjected helplessly.
“Have you done that before?”
“Done what?”
“Slept with other men?”
“Mom, please stop,” he pleaded miserably.
“Tom, I need to know. Have you?”
He fiercely debated on whether or not to lie to her. Her expression was unreadable, yet he believed there was a high possibility that the right answer would be offensive in her mind. He swallowed hard, inhaled deeply, and forced himself to look at her directly. “Yes, I have,” he stated intensely softly. “Just one time and with one man.”
Margaret Hanson drew in a shuddering breath and lowered her head. Witnessing this reaction, Tom immediately regretted admitting the truth. He could handle being a disappointment to certain people, but having his mother disappointed in him was hard to take. She backed away again as if her son was a wild animal and muttered an almost inaudible, “Oh god.” The confusion and mostly concealed repulsion was written on her shocked, disapproving face, and it made Tom’s heart sink with extreme depression.
“Mom, I’m sorry,” he uttered sincerely.
“I have to go to work now, sweetheart,” she replied distantly and with no feeling. “Get better soon.”
As she began to walk towards the door, he quickly asked, “Are you ashamed of me?” with tears trickling down his face.
There was a lengthy pause between them as she stared at the entrance and he gazed at her desperately. At last, she voiced quietly with a hint of remorse coming through, “Yes. I’m ashamed of you. For the vile sins you committed. I am sorry that I feel this way, and I pray that God forgives you.”
“But mom, I-”
“I’ll try to come by again sometime, alright? Goodbye, darling.”
“Mom-”
He did not bother finishing his sentence, for she was practically already out of the room.
****
Doug was surprised with himself as he made his way down the second floor hallway. He was still not quite brave enough to actually go in to see Hanson face to face or have a conversation with him, so instead, he decided to merely settle for looking at him through the window located near the door of the room. In his hands, he carried four red roses bound together by a ribbon tied about the stems and a golden-brown teddy bear he had spotted in the same store he had gotten the flowers at. When he was young, he remembered having one that was a dark chocolate color, and it always made him feel better by just hugging it to him whenever his father drank himself into oblivion and his mother fell into a deep depression. He hoped having something to hold and “keep him company” would help Tom along with his recovery. It was a bit corny in his mind, and with the roses, he wondered if it was too much of a romantic gesture, though he found himself not particularly caring.
He arrived at his partner’s room and was slightly taken aback at what he discovered. Ioki was seated halfway on the bed with his back against the pillows; Tom was sitting up as well beside him and was slumped against the officer’s chest. Harry’s arm was slung across Hanson’s shoulders, and his hand gently rubbed up and down Hanson’s upper arm in a soothing manner. Neither was saying anything to the other, and it was then that Doug realized how wretched and devastated Tom looked; he could also see that his partner was crying, though it was apparent he was attempting to make himself stop. Ioki murmured something to the upset, young man, to which Tom nodded before hiding his face against the other male’s chest. Tom’s thin, broken frame started to shake as he completely broke down sobbing. Carefully, he slid his left arm across Harry’s stomach and wanted to cling to him, but he could not yet move any part of his left hand.
Doug observed them sadly for a few minutes and then turned away to tread to the main reception area. He approached a nurse who had helped take care of Tom and who he remembered seeing when he had stayed at his partner’s bedside. She smiled benevolently and assured him that she would get the gifts to Tom that he said had come from the Jump Street team.
Leisurely, Doug made his way to the elevators, pausing for a number of seconds to gaze at Tom again. The younger man’s eyes were closed, appearing like he was asleep, and Ioki still cradled him gingerly. Doug’s lips quirked upward into a tiny smile, and he suddenly imagined that it might not be so bad to visit Tom in person as he kept thinking it would.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Tom/OCs, Doug/OC, Judy, Ioki, Margaret Hanson, OCs
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, rape, angst
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Finally! It's long, so hopefully it'll hold you over until the next one, which may be awhile. Also hope it's good enough....
Link to chapter 9: here
Chapter Ten
****
He was not sure how, but Tom knew someone else was in the room with him without even having opened his eyes. His hearing, he thought, was not spectacular or anything, yet there was the very slightest sound of movement to the left of him. The person, whoever it was, was not moving whatsoever; Tom only realized he was not alone from the faint noise of the person breathing. Cautiously, as to not cause any unneeded pain, he slowly let his eyelids flutter open and glanced to his left. It was a male nurse from what Tom could see, judging by the blue scrubs he wore, and his attention had been focused on the heart monitor and IV bags before Tom had awoken. The way he now looked at the young officer made Hanson somewhat uncomfortable. There was something familiar about him, but Hanson could not figure it out. Even though he felt uneasy, he knew he had to trust this man anyway because he could not vocalize any sort of concern or do anything.
“I see you’re making a recovery, Tom,” the man said indifferently.
Hanson felt what little color there was showing on his face drain away and suddenly felt incredibly nauseous. That voice. That voice from Hell. He knew it well; he had heard it every day for two weeks.
“You look scared, Tommy,” Derick went on from observing the radical hysteria in Hanson’s dark eyes. “You’re certainly very lucky to be here, you know that? If things had gone as they were supposed to, you’d still be lying in that field, forgotten and decomposing.” He saw Hanson’s eyes flicker to the right, finding that the door was closed. “Nobody will bother us for the time being, I can promise you that.”
Derick removed the sheets covering Tom’s thin frame and tossed them to the floor. It was not until he felt a cold hand grab his flaccid member that Tom began blinking away tears. The nineteen-year old groped Hanson’s cock unabashedly and frequently took to fondling the cop’s testicles gently. The fingers rubbed over the few burns located on his genitals, making him grimace due to the soreness and the lingering ache created by the wounds. But the digits knew exactly how to handle him in order to take his mind off of the pain and supply him with constant ripples of pleasure - pleasure he desperately wished he could not feel.
“Why are you crying, Tommy? Aren’t you liking this?”
Tom shook his head a little, being the single way he could answer the question.
“That’s odd because I can clearly see and feel you getting hard - a definite sign that you are. You should be ashamed of yourself. Absolutely filthy, you are. You should be glad I’m doing this for you because there won’t be anybody who would want to touch a worthless piece of shit like you now.”
The young man’s eyes closed as infinite humiliation filled him.
He despised himself for letting his body respond “positively” to the intimate caresses. He wanted nothing more than for the inappropriate act to end.
“Go ahead,” Derick encouraged after several minutes. “Come for me, Tom; I know you want to. The evidence is already leaking onto my hand.”
A minute later, Tom trembled from the tingling, astounding sensations of orgasm. He kept his eyes tightly shut as he released his seed to coat the other male’s fingers.
The amused laugh he heard made him wholly appalled with himself and significantly embarrassed.
“Good boy. I appreciate the cooperation.”
Derick retracted his hands from Tom’s body, surveyed them for a moment curiously, and shrugged as he made up his mind; he wiped the result of Tom’s climax on the cop’s face and gown. Hanson had no time to think of how dirty he felt, for he grew wary and more concerned about what the teen was planning on next. His tired, dilated eyes stared at the other man, soon focusing on Derick’s hands. They had moved to a place on his arm where an IV was stuck into him. In one quick motion, the tape keeping it in place was ripped off; the needle was plucked from his vein seconds later. He winced from the sharp sting the action caused, but before he had time to process what had happened, Derick was pulling out another one and another. The teenager left only one untouched.
“Now for the fun part. You remember how good it feels, don’t you?” he asked with a smirk.
He carefully maneuvered onto the bed between Hanson’s legs and pushed the hospital gown up to the officer’s waist. Hanson merely lay still, weeping silently as his hips were lifted just enough for a pillow to slide under him. The movement of his legs being separated more caused him a good deal of distress, yet it was nothing compared to the agony that overwhelmed him a minute later from Derick penetrating him with hardly any lubrication. He wanted to cry out, to scream for help, but the oxygen tube in his throat prevented him from making any sort of noise.
The beeping of the monitor increased in speed as Tom’s heart pounded faster from the fear, anxiety, and anguish he had. The teen was in no way trying to be gentle. He pumped fully in and out of Tom’s broken body with terrible force, sighing in pleasure from the feel of Tom’s tense, tightening muscles. Numerous times he punched Hanson’s stomach and right knee, the latter blinding the young cop with searing pain. When the teen struck his left wrist, Hanson completely blacked out for approximately twenty seconds.
“You’re the perfect slut, Tommy,” Derick breathed into his ear. “You’d be the perfect whore if you started charging. Either way, you’re the easiest person I’ve ever fucked.”
Tom gazed at the male above him with glassy, unbelievably sorrowful eyes and did not see any pity or mercy in the teen’s expression.
Fuller was wrong. I’ll never get away. I’ll never be safe. This is what I’m supposed to do now, who I’m supposed to be. I’m not meant to be saved from them.
After ten minutes Derick finally ejaculated inside of Tom and grinned deviously at the powerless, distraught man under him. He clambered over Tom to get up and gave him one last wicked look before exiting the room. Not a second later, Travis entered and shut the door behind him.
Hanson focused on the ceiling above him as Travis used his body for sexual release just as his friend had done. When Travis finished with him after fifteen minutes, he did not bother lowering the hospital gown to cover Tom’s genitals, and he detached the tube of the ventilator from the one residing in Hanson’s throat and left, leaving the door open.
****
“Tom? Tom? Can you open your eyes for me?”
The words were vague and jumbled, but he could discern “open” and “eyes” from the question. He felt a hand rest upon his right shoulder, and instinctively, he jerked away from it, his brown eyes opening wide with terror.
“Hey, hey, calm down, Tom. It’s alright,” Dr. Landen soothed. “Whoever hurt you isn’t here anymore.”
Frantically, Hanson looked around the room to confirm that the man was not lying. The statement proved true, and he averted his gaze to focus on the physician’s face.
“You had us worried; we lost you there for a little while. Are you feeling any severe pain?”
Hanson shook his head ever so slightly.
“The IV’s are back in place and we put you on the ventilator again because you weren’t getting a sufficient amount of oxygen, but I feel that we can take you off of it now and just use an oxygen mask if you feel short of breath, okay?”
A little nod was the reply.
“I need you to tell me the truth now, alright? Did this person who came in here rape you?”
Hanson closed his eyes and refused to answer.
“Tom? I need to know whether the small amount of semen on the sheets is theirs or perhaps yours. Is it theirs?”
Reluctantly, he shook his head.
“Did they engage in intercourse with you?”
The water that had become so familiar to his eyes began seeping out from the corners of them in droplets. Feeling utterly ashamed, he nodded.
“Do you know if he used a condom? Shake your head if he didn’t and nod if he did.”
There was a pause as Hanson tried to remember; it was slowly growing apparent to him that his memory was nowhere near as good as it had once been. After a moment, he shook his head.
“Okay. What I’m going to do is see if there are any traces of semen still present in the anus that can be used to determine who it was. But first, I’ll disconnect you from the respirator, we’ll get you changed into a clean gown and move you to the other bed, and then I’ll get a sample, alright?”
Hanson let his eyelids drift open to stare at Landen’s kind face, and Landen took it that he understood. Once the connecting part was unhooked, Tom was instructed to blow out in order to remove the tube from his throat. The action made him cough hoarsely several times when it was taken out. He was told not to speak for a little while, though he did not plan to anyway; there was nothing to say.
With careful conduct, two male nurses moved and settled him with IV’s and all on the other bed before they gently undressed him. They eased a clean gown onto him and drew the privacy curtain as Dr. Landen took a seat at the end of the bed, armed with latex gloves and what seemed to Tom like an extra long Q-tip in one hand.
“Okay, Tom. I’ll try to make this as quick and painless as I can. There’s no need to feel embarrassed or anything like that.”
Unhurriedly and delicately, Landen bended and lifted Tom’s left leg before pushing it away from the other leg in order to separate them more. Tom winced and emitted a quiet whimper.
“Doing great, Tom,” Landen commented and leisurely, he started to inch the ‘Q-tip’ inside of Tom. Immediately, the young officer went tense, causing the doctor to wait a couple of minutes before Hanson was relaxed enough. The object made its way into him halfway then twisted and cautiously scraped the sides of his muscles. He inhaled sharply at the sensation, discovering just how sore he was and how much Derick had hurt him.
“Almost done, Tom. You’re doing fine.”
Less than a minute later, the prodding instrument was removed. Landen placed it into a glass tube, capped a lid on it, and set it aside. Demonstrating immense care, he lowered and straightened Tom’s leg to rest down by the other.
“All done,” he announced as he pulled the bed sheets up to cover Tom from the waist down. “You did great. Get some rest now, and I’ll be in to check on you later.”
“Thank you,” he voiced in nothing more than a whisper, taking more energy than he thought it would.
Landen gave him a caring smile before exiting the room. Tom grasped the covers with his right hand and brought them up to his chin. It was the only way to lessen the feeling of being completely exposed.
For thirty minutes, he merely stared at the ceiling, listening to the heart monitor in the otherwise silent room. He glanced out the window, smiling a little at the sight of snow falling, and then let his eyes close.
****
“Doug? Pick up the phone; it’s Judy. If you’re there, please answer. Tom’s awake now and doing alright, but something happened to him last night. Two of Danny’s accomplices came and paid him a visit and raped him. No one heard anything or suspected them because they were dressed in hospital scrubs, but we’re sure they’re caught on one of the security cameras; Tom would then have to identify them, plus we’ll have more evidence once the results come back from the semen samples Dr. Landen was able to get. Look, Doug, from what I know, Tom’s pretty distraught and shaken up over it and I think it’d be really good for him if you’d come down here to see him, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Just remember how hard you tried to find him and how you stayed with him for days while he was in a coma; it’d be a sad thing if you abandoned him now.”
Doug stopped the machine, rewound the tape, and played the message again. He wanted so much to just race out of his apartment door and rush to the hospital, but he knew he did not have the courage to face his partner yet. Tom surely had to hate him for not saving him as he had promised; plus, Tom had to remember what he had done to him, and he was not prepared to deal with the confrontation.
After listening to Judy’s voice one more time, he headed upstairs to his already occupied bed and let the woman put her arm around his waist. With a heavy sigh, he worked on pushing away all thoughts of Tom from his mind.
****
“Hey, Tom,” Judy greeted warmly as she came to stand at the side of the officer’s bed.
Hanson turned his head slightly to gaze up at her, his whole body relaxing just from her presence. “Hey, Jude,” he replied somewhat hoarsely.
“How do you feel?”
“Well, how do I look?”
She gave a small laugh and shook her head. “Not so hot.”
“That’s about how I feel,” he stated with a little smile. “They pumped me full of pain meds, so I’m not hurting all that much at the moment.”
“That’s good.”
“Whatever they’re giving me….Something’s making me really tired all the time.”
“Well, you do need to get plenty of rest.”
“Yeah, plus there’s not much to do when I’m awake anyway. TV, but that’s about it.”
“I’ll try and come by whenever I can to keep you company. I’m sure Harry and even Booker will do the same.”
Tom knew there was another name missing, though it would not come to mind. “What about….-”
“Doug?”
“Doug, yeah.”
Judy sighed and glanced down at the floor nervously. “I don’t know what’s going on with him, Tom. He was here practically every day while you were on life support, but now it’s like he doesn’t want anything to do with you.”
Tom looked away and muttered a quiet “oh,” his expression ridden with disappointment. He felt a sudden pang in his chest, and he knew it had nothing to do with his physical condition. Judy bit her lip, regretting having told the truth, and attempted to find something to say to break the gloomy air.
“Look, Tom, that’s just what I think from the way he’s been acting lately, but it may not be anything like that. Give him a couple of days; I’ll bet he’ll come to see you.”
Tom inhaled a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then released it slowly. He put on a forced smile and said, “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Tom-”
“Really, it’s not.”
“Miss Hoffs?”
Both averted their gazes to the door to find Dr. Landen.
“Can I speak with you for a moment?” he asked.
“Sure.”
Tom observed the two out in the hallway, discussing what looked to be important, for a minute or so before letting his eyelids close and dozing off. A short time later, he felt a hand shaking him awake and Judy’s voice saying his name.
“What?” he asked drowsily, unable to open his eyes more than half-way.
“Do the names Derick Peterson and Travis Felton sound familiar?”
He waited a moment as he thought on it before answering, “No. I’ve never heard of them. Why?”
Judy looked down briefly, sighed, and met Tom’s exhausted eyes with her own. “The test results came back from the samples Dr. Landen took, and they identified Derick and Travis as the men who raped you last night.”
Tom’s face flushed a light crimson from embarrassment and mortification. He turned his head shamefully away from her to stare out the window at the cloudy day. He clenched his teeth and started blinking frequently; he was determined not to cry.
“Were they part of the five who kidnapped you? Tom?”
The young man nodded his head reluctantly.
“But you didn’t know their names?”
“They never said them,” he replied in a wavering, soft voice. “They never called each other by their names and never showed their faces. The only one I knew was Danny Benton.”
“Would you be able to identify Derick and Travis if you saw them?”
“Yeah, I could identify them. Look, why don’t we just forget about it instead, okay?”
“What? Tom, that’s ridiculous. You were raped; that’s a serious offense.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he asked sharply and stared at her testily.
“Then why would you just let it go like that?”
“Because I want to forget,” he choked out, no longer being capable of withholding his tears. “I just want it to go away. I don’t want to be forced to think about it more than I already do.”
“Tom….You’re really thinking about letting it go? Let these scum bags walk free from all the horrible things they did to you? If that’s what you truly want, I’ll go and tell Fuller right now that we no longer have a case. But I know you, Tom. You’re one who fights hard for justice for those who have been wronged, yet you’re not willing to do that same courtesy for yourself?”
“Judy….I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to decide anything right away. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”
“I promise.”
Judy smiled and gently grasped Tom’s right hand. She did not say anything as he wept almost silently, but merely stroked his hair delicately and occasionally wiped the moist droplets away with her thumb.
Fifteen minutes later Tom was asleep, and Judy kissed his forehead tenderly before quietly leaving the room.
****
Another pillow had been placed behind him in order to prop him up a little more to better see the television, which was strapped to a platform bolted to the wall. Though his eyes were staring at the screen, he found it difficult to actually focus and figure out what, exactly, he was watching. He did not much care to anyway; it was on simply for the sound of something other than the beeping heart monitor and the noise of footsteps constantly coming from the hallway. From what he could tell, every show was Christmas themed, and he wondered if he had missed the holiday while being held captive; he had no idea what day of the month or week it was. Everything had blended together during his solitude to the point where he was not sure whether it was morning or night.
At the moment, Hanson felt fascinatingly calm and unmotivated to turn the channel from what he perceived as a stupid soap opera. His mind was foggy as to why he was so tranquil, yet he knew there was a good chance of it being the result from the shot he was given not ten minutes ago. He had woken up, shouting madly, at the touch of someone’s hand on his left knee and had begun to thrash about in an attempt to get away. The unimaginable terror he had drowned out any pain he would have otherwise felt. All he could recall after that was a number of people running into the room, being held down, and then less than a minute later, he felt enormously at ease.
His eyes were void of any emotion as if he was daydreaming, and he did not notice the person who had entered the room until she was standing at the foot of his bed. The sight of his mother sparked life into his dark, somber orbs, and they rapidly started brimming with tears. Hers appeared to be doing the same, and two water droplets escaped to slide down her cheeks to confirm it. Even though she was beaming happily, there was an air of nervousness about her.
“Hi, mom,” he whispered with a weary, relieved smile.
“Hi, Tommy,” she answered equally as quiet. She cleared her throat before asking a little louder, “How are you feeling?”
With a shrug, he said, “Fine right now, but then everything starts hurting so bad. I wish they could give me something that can constantly numb me.”
“The doctor mentioned they had to sedate you? Why? What happened?”
“Nothing. I, um….I was just startled, I guess. I’m alright now.” He took note of her awkwardness and began to grow apprehensive in response. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. But Tom, I….I have to know.”
“Know what?”
She took a step forward as if wanting to move closer to where his head lay, but she stopped when she was at his waist’s side. “You had….sex with those men-”
“I had no choice,” he interjected helplessly.
“Have you done that before?”
“Done what?”
“Slept with other men?”
“Mom, please stop,” he pleaded miserably.
“Tom, I need to know. Have you?”
He fiercely debated on whether or not to lie to her. Her expression was unreadable, yet he believed there was a high possibility that the right answer would be offensive in her mind. He swallowed hard, inhaled deeply, and forced himself to look at her directly. “Yes, I have,” he stated intensely softly. “Just one time and with one man.”
Margaret Hanson drew in a shuddering breath and lowered her head. Witnessing this reaction, Tom immediately regretted admitting the truth. He could handle being a disappointment to certain people, but having his mother disappointed in him was hard to take. She backed away again as if her son was a wild animal and muttered an almost inaudible, “Oh god.” The confusion and mostly concealed repulsion was written on her shocked, disapproving face, and it made Tom’s heart sink with extreme depression.
“Mom, I’m sorry,” he uttered sincerely.
“I have to go to work now, sweetheart,” she replied distantly and with no feeling. “Get better soon.”
As she began to walk towards the door, he quickly asked, “Are you ashamed of me?” with tears trickling down his face.
There was a lengthy pause between them as she stared at the entrance and he gazed at her desperately. At last, she voiced quietly with a hint of remorse coming through, “Yes. I’m ashamed of you. For the vile sins you committed. I am sorry that I feel this way, and I pray that God forgives you.”
“But mom, I-”
“I’ll try to come by again sometime, alright? Goodbye, darling.”
“Mom-”
He did not bother finishing his sentence, for she was practically already out of the room.
****
Doug was surprised with himself as he made his way down the second floor hallway. He was still not quite brave enough to actually go in to see Hanson face to face or have a conversation with him, so instead, he decided to merely settle for looking at him through the window located near the door of the room. In his hands, he carried four red roses bound together by a ribbon tied about the stems and a golden-brown teddy bear he had spotted in the same store he had gotten the flowers at. When he was young, he remembered having one that was a dark chocolate color, and it always made him feel better by just hugging it to him whenever his father drank himself into oblivion and his mother fell into a deep depression. He hoped having something to hold and “keep him company” would help Tom along with his recovery. It was a bit corny in his mind, and with the roses, he wondered if it was too much of a romantic gesture, though he found himself not particularly caring.
He arrived at his partner’s room and was slightly taken aback at what he discovered. Ioki was seated halfway on the bed with his back against the pillows; Tom was sitting up as well beside him and was slumped against the officer’s chest. Harry’s arm was slung across Hanson’s shoulders, and his hand gently rubbed up and down Hanson’s upper arm in a soothing manner. Neither was saying anything to the other, and it was then that Doug realized how wretched and devastated Tom looked; he could also see that his partner was crying, though it was apparent he was attempting to make himself stop. Ioki murmured something to the upset, young man, to which Tom nodded before hiding his face against the other male’s chest. Tom’s thin, broken frame started to shake as he completely broke down sobbing. Carefully, he slid his left arm across Harry’s stomach and wanted to cling to him, but he could not yet move any part of his left hand.
Doug observed them sadly for a few minutes and then turned away to tread to the main reception area. He approached a nurse who had helped take care of Tom and who he remembered seeing when he had stayed at his partner’s bedside. She smiled benevolently and assured him that she would get the gifts to Tom that he said had come from the Jump Street team.
Leisurely, Doug made his way to the elevators, pausing for a number of seconds to gaze at Tom again. The younger man’s eyes were closed, appearing like he was asleep, and Ioki still cradled him gingerly. Doug’s lips quirked upward into a tiny smile, and he suddenly imagined that it might not be so bad to visit Tom in person as he kept thinking it would.