a suit and a crown
i got whacked hard by the adult responsibility hammer this week. three arguably major rites of passage (one definite, the second two a little iffier), and a big dose of 'fuck!'
the first such rite took place sometime last week, when i finally broke down and bought a suit. this has been overdue for a while- quite a while, really, given that i have been borrowing a jacket for formal days at school all year (of which there have been...three? too long to justify.) thursday, my classroom will be invaded by the grandparents of my young charges, who will expect to see something bordering on respectability from me. this will be challenging, made even more so by the fact that the classroom is currently full of dirt. literally. we've been studying dirt for a week or so, and today we actually ate some. anyway.
i haven't been fitted for clothes since my japanese school uniform, summer of 1997. from what i remember, that didn't go very well- all of the clothes, despite being special orders, were at least an inch short in the sleeves and legs, giving me sort of the castaway-in-ugly-semiformal-wear look. this was an improvement, but it's still weird to hear numbers and measurements thrown around that somehow relate to your body- parts of your body that you might never think to measure otherwise. compounding the problem was the fact that i've needed a haircut for at least a month and have developed wolverine-like facial hair to go with a sunburn- and the visual effect is something like warren zevon's werewolf of london. a-woo.
the suit experience was unusual enough to be sort of fun. expensive fun, and not fun that i would care to repeat in the near future, but worth doing. even if i didn't want to.
the second adult experience involved selling the little black honda that could, rendered superfluous by the little silver honda that probably can. it doesn't have a name yet, and hasn't suffered nearly the same level of abuse; presumably, it will acquire a name after a bonding experience equal to being abandoned in a blizzard or navigating boulder-studded, cactus-lined wheel ruts at 20 mph while searching for a campsite in the dead of night. after many repairs, some negotiation, and a few false starts, i managed to find my trusty vehicle a good new home where hopefully it won't be stripped for parts. apparently the price of indestructibility is about $1300. potentially useful information.
today closed the series of three events, as i went in to get a crown put on a tooth broken in the days before dental insurance. surprisingly, this breakage had nothing to do with the cabbage mixing machine or rocks found in food last summer- but it still needed fixing. after discovering that i seem to have quite the tolerance for cocaine-derived anesthetics, the special pressure-cartridge anesthetic gun was broken out to put me down for the procedure, and after an hour and a half of tingly resistance, i succumbed to the numbness. apparently all went well, as i now have what appears to be a plastic replica of a tooth stuck somewhere behind the normal ones- but the fun didn't really start until the dentistry was over. upon settling up, i was informed that my super-comprehensive dental insurance covered my procedure- or 1% of it. $7.51. as my friend austin said, 'it would almost have been nicer if they had just sent you a note saying 'fuck you, you pay for it.'' while i suppose that paying 1% of major procedures is technically dental coverage, i'd rather it just be zero. less confusing, and a lot less insulting upon discovery. the painfully bubbly receptionist interpreted the fortuitous timing of my car sale and subsequent major expense as one of god's little miracles. i interpreted it somewhat differently, and painfully. especially before the vicodin kicked in.
so, in the course of one week, i sold my most valuable possession- and purchased two things, neither of which i particularly wanted, which cost more than it was worth.
sometimes god's little miracles are pretty fucking depressing. i just felt that there was some sort of poetic folly to having to spend money that i never quite had on a suit and a crown that i didn't want.
there's probably a fairy tale in there somewhere, but i'm not the person to write it.
the first such rite took place sometime last week, when i finally broke down and bought a suit. this has been overdue for a while- quite a while, really, given that i have been borrowing a jacket for formal days at school all year (of which there have been...three? too long to justify.) thursday, my classroom will be invaded by the grandparents of my young charges, who will expect to see something bordering on respectability from me. this will be challenging, made even more so by the fact that the classroom is currently full of dirt. literally. we've been studying dirt for a week or so, and today we actually ate some. anyway.
i haven't been fitted for clothes since my japanese school uniform, summer of 1997. from what i remember, that didn't go very well- all of the clothes, despite being special orders, were at least an inch short in the sleeves and legs, giving me sort of the castaway-in-ugly-semiformal-wear look. this was an improvement, but it's still weird to hear numbers and measurements thrown around that somehow relate to your body- parts of your body that you might never think to measure otherwise. compounding the problem was the fact that i've needed a haircut for at least a month and have developed wolverine-like facial hair to go with a sunburn- and the visual effect is something like warren zevon's werewolf of london. a-woo.
the suit experience was unusual enough to be sort of fun. expensive fun, and not fun that i would care to repeat in the near future, but worth doing. even if i didn't want to.
the second adult experience involved selling the little black honda that could, rendered superfluous by the little silver honda that probably can. it doesn't have a name yet, and hasn't suffered nearly the same level of abuse; presumably, it will acquire a name after a bonding experience equal to being abandoned in a blizzard or navigating boulder-studded, cactus-lined wheel ruts at 20 mph while searching for a campsite in the dead of night. after many repairs, some negotiation, and a few false starts, i managed to find my trusty vehicle a good new home where hopefully it won't be stripped for parts. apparently the price of indestructibility is about $1300. potentially useful information.
today closed the series of three events, as i went in to get a crown put on a tooth broken in the days before dental insurance. surprisingly, this breakage had nothing to do with the cabbage mixing machine or rocks found in food last summer- but it still needed fixing. after discovering that i seem to have quite the tolerance for cocaine-derived anesthetics, the special pressure-cartridge anesthetic gun was broken out to put me down for the procedure, and after an hour and a half of tingly resistance, i succumbed to the numbness. apparently all went well, as i now have what appears to be a plastic replica of a tooth stuck somewhere behind the normal ones- but the fun didn't really start until the dentistry was over. upon settling up, i was informed that my super-comprehensive dental insurance covered my procedure- or 1% of it. $7.51. as my friend austin said, 'it would almost have been nicer if they had just sent you a note saying 'fuck you, you pay for it.'' while i suppose that paying 1% of major procedures is technically dental coverage, i'd rather it just be zero. less confusing, and a lot less insulting upon discovery. the painfully bubbly receptionist interpreted the fortuitous timing of my car sale and subsequent major expense as one of god's little miracles. i interpreted it somewhat differently, and painfully. especially before the vicodin kicked in.
so, in the course of one week, i sold my most valuable possession- and purchased two things, neither of which i particularly wanted, which cost more than it was worth.
sometimes god's little miracles are pretty fucking depressing. i just felt that there was some sort of poetic folly to having to spend money that i never quite had on a suit and a crown that i didn't want.
there's probably a fairy tale in there somewhere, but i'm not the person to write it.