Officer Drunk, I presume?
Heh. Joe, one of my regular panhandler customers, just came in to tell me that he was busting a guy for selling him an eighth of coke. I expressed skepticism (as the reason he had come to see me was to purchase another half-pint of Skol, his third of the day, all paid for with loose change), and he said, ‘we’re cops, didn’t you know?’ I suppose that this is technically possible, but if he’s an undercover cop, he’s pretty damn far undercover. I’d believe that he was a prison snitch, but I have a hard time with the notion that the Champaign police department is so concerned with petty drug sales by panhandlers that they’ll pay an officer to scrounge change from college students and drink cheap vodka all day. Also, I seriously doubt that either party could afford the eighth of coke. On the other hand, I haven’t seen some of the other regulars recently- cookie monster shaved, and then disappeared, and I haven’t seen the Unabomber for a few days... so maybe something is up after all.
Edit: nope, there’s the Unabomber. He’s just running late today, and explains that he’s about to check into the hospital overnight. Naturally, some anesthesia is required. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with the Unabomber (well, no. that’s not true. I can think of several things that are wrong with the Unabomber, but none of them require immediate hospitalization), but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that he always looks like he has frostbite- his hands and face are swollen and purple, and his hair and beard are the color of frozen dishwater. I always assumed that it was because it was freezing outside, but it’s about 75 right now and he still looks like he has frostbite, so I’m guessing that there’s something else going on. I hope he’s ok- the Unabomber is the only panhandler that I actually like.
Joe is back to sitting across the street looking bored. If any arrests have been made, they were performed stealthily.
The past few weeks of working at the store have actually been more entertaining than depressing, probably because I now have some hope that it’s temporary, and I realize that if I work my ass off for a few weeks, I can make enough money to cover expenses while I do something more productive and/or fun. It’s like Douglas Coupland’s ‘reverse sabbatical’ theory applied in very short bursts- which, frankly, isn’t so bad. I think I’m looking at spending a large part of May out in Big Bend doing rock stuff, and that gives me something to smile about while I sell my evil wares.
Edit: nope, there’s the Unabomber. He’s just running late today, and explains that he’s about to check into the hospital overnight. Naturally, some anesthesia is required. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with the Unabomber (well, no. that’s not true. I can think of several things that are wrong with the Unabomber, but none of them require immediate hospitalization), but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that he always looks like he has frostbite- his hands and face are swollen and purple, and his hair and beard are the color of frozen dishwater. I always assumed that it was because it was freezing outside, but it’s about 75 right now and he still looks like he has frostbite, so I’m guessing that there’s something else going on. I hope he’s ok- the Unabomber is the only panhandler that I actually like.
Joe is back to sitting across the street looking bored. If any arrests have been made, they were performed stealthily.
The past few weeks of working at the store have actually been more entertaining than depressing, probably because I now have some hope that it’s temporary, and I realize that if I work my ass off for a few weeks, I can make enough money to cover expenses while I do something more productive and/or fun. It’s like Douglas Coupland’s ‘reverse sabbatical’ theory applied in very short bursts- which, frankly, isn’t so bad. I think I’m looking at spending a large part of May out in Big Bend doing rock stuff, and that gives me something to smile about while I sell my evil wares.