JE NE COMPREND PAS
as per usual
my bullshit love life provides an imponderable spell of fog
so, what else is new?
im feeling an unusual amount of nothing
no anger no blame
no chairs soaring across the room
no shattered porcelain watercolor pallets
nothing
but sheer autism.
tears come like shit eeking out of a constipated anus
and the fact that i can continue to function and talk to people and go to work and clean my room and organize ENDWISE without bursting into nervous, anxious laughter justifies my having completely gone crazy
im tired of walking im tired of eating im tired of holding out hope for people who'd rather shovel out promises and reveal nothing but a gaping ditch for me to leap into.
the world is for the living.
but how much life is there to live for when you can see the patterns shoving you into an unending mimesis of love, hope, doubt and rage?