Is Marriage An Outdated Notion?
In my recent visit to Korea, I was told that modern Korean couples seldom register their marriages, until they have their first child. In fact, Korean divorce rates are very high, and this trial period without registration can do away with the legal problems of divorce. I was rather taken aback at this revelation, since the Koreans are also quite traditional folk. Then again, the Malays in Singapore tend to be the most traditional of all, but statistically have the most complicated of family relationships in Singapore.
Ask an older person, and some would tell you that they are no longer in love with their spouse. What holds them together, is the piece of paper (marriage certificate) and the children. Personally, I think it is a sad state of affairs, if that is what is keeping the marriage intact. Many parents claim that the only reason they stay married, is for the happiness of the children. Is this really true? Or is this just an excuse for themselves not being able to face the supposed shame of divorce? For if spouses are really unhappy with each other, surely their children will know, and be affected, whether there is a divorce, or not. The stigma to divorce and a broken family is no longer so strong in society today. It has become a reality in modern Singapore, and most accept it. So, is it better for a child to have an intact family, but face parents yelling at each other, or giving each other the silent treatment? Or is it better for the parents to separate, and maintain a amiable relationship, with shared access to the children? Ask a child, and they would probably love to see their parents happy together. However, if their relationship turns sour, the children feel guilty and feel trapped in between. You might be surprised, but many younger people face divorce better than the older generation.
So, is there any sanctity left in marriage? Frankly, I am not sure, with the way the world is going. Community values continue to erode, with individuality championed. With these ideas, it is difficult to make an institution like marriage work. With the advent of pre-nuptial agreements and such, it only points to the lack of faith in the institution of marriage. In an age of instant gratification, people are too impatient to stay and work things out. People laugh about the supposed promiscuity amongst the gay community. Frankly, I think that the heterosexual community will be no better, if they did not have the law binding them! However,is it not a real sad state of affairs, if the law is the only thing binding the marriage together?
Ask an older person, and some would tell you that they are no longer in love with their spouse. What holds them together, is the piece of paper (marriage certificate) and the children. Personally, I think it is a sad state of affairs, if that is what is keeping the marriage intact. Many parents claim that the only reason they stay married, is for the happiness of the children. Is this really true? Or is this just an excuse for themselves not being able to face the supposed shame of divorce? For if spouses are really unhappy with each other, surely their children will know, and be affected, whether there is a divorce, or not. The stigma to divorce and a broken family is no longer so strong in society today. It has become a reality in modern Singapore, and most accept it. So, is it better for a child to have an intact family, but face parents yelling at each other, or giving each other the silent treatment? Or is it better for the parents to separate, and maintain a amiable relationship, with shared access to the children? Ask a child, and they would probably love to see their parents happy together. However, if their relationship turns sour, the children feel guilty and feel trapped in between. You might be surprised, but many younger people face divorce better than the older generation.
So, is there any sanctity left in marriage? Frankly, I am not sure, with the way the world is going. Community values continue to erode, with individuality championed. With these ideas, it is difficult to make an institution like marriage work. With the advent of pre-nuptial agreements and such, it only points to the lack of faith in the institution of marriage. In an age of instant gratification, people are too impatient to stay and work things out. People laugh about the supposed promiscuity amongst the gay community. Frankly, I think that the heterosexual community will be no better, if they did not have the law binding them! However,is it not a real sad state of affairs, if the law is the only thing binding the marriage together?